Am I overreacting?

I started seeing someone a little over a year ago.

We specifically had the discussion in the early stages about involvement with other people, and agreed that we should let eachother know if there was anyone else.

I specifically said that if they were seeing anyone else, I'd like to know so I could determine at that point rather or not I'd like to continue seeing this person. They agreed.

About a year down the road, they got distant and eventually ghosted.

A few weeks later, I learned that the person I'd been seeing for the last year had been involved in an open relationship for the last four years and they are still seeing this person, now.

This was never mentioned to me once, despite being very straight forward about my feelings and multiple conversations specifically pertaining to dating multiple people. They always told me they were single.

I feel like the last year invested into them was a lie and a waste of my time.

I wouldn't judge anyone for living in a way that suits them best, but I feel like I had a right to know so I could make my own decisions pertaining to my level of involvement with this person.

Is it fair to be angry that they never never told me or am I overreacting?

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07

Most Helpful Guy

  • You shouldn't be angry..
    You should be mad with rage. Don't waste time if your life in this kind of shitty people.

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What Girls & Guys Said

06
  • You have the right to be angry but what do you want to do about it

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    • What I want to do about it is understand (or at least consider another point of view) so I can approach things differently in the future.
      I know that you cannot change people, but you can approach similar situations from a stance of empathy rather than anger while still protecting yourself.

    • I think that's the best way to look at it. im sorry you dealt with that it happens but you will find someone that will treat you right

  • It's not overreaction. That person lied multiple times in an open conversation.
    It's the same as cheating on you, from my point of view.

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  • You are not overreacting you have been lied on for a year. That is a year wasted which you could have spent looking for other partners.
    You are totally right.

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  • I don't think you are over reacting expecially if it was clear that you wanted to know those things

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  • It's broken trust, not an overaction at all. He lied to get what he wanted.

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  • It’s fair to be angry as you are misled

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