How to get over fear of men?

I would really like to have a serious relationship with a man (mid 20s and never had a relationship) but I can't get over my fear of them. I can work with male colleagues just fine and have male friends. But the thought of intimacy makes me afraid, I have so many bad experiences with men trying to get into a relationship with me that I just don't trust them anymore in a romantic sense.
However I do want a relationship and I am sexually attracted to men so I'm really conflicted. I would like to find a way to get over this as surely all men can't be as horrible as the ones that I've met. Any advice? I'm wondering whether it might be easier to at least experience the sexual part of a relationship by asking a male friend. It might cause complications but I'm more likely to trust them. As long as they are willing of course!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Growing up watching my sister get continuously hurt by countless men really caused me to have the same problem as you. I have zero problem working with them and being friends. I have never dated a day in my life due to it.
    But, I'm trying to get over it. I find being friends with them first and slowly allowing yourself to open up is the best option. I feel like I am getting better at it. But like you, I still have room for improvement.

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    • Thank you for sharing this. I have also watched many women in my life get abused by men and worse some of them don't even realise it. I will keep trying, it is difficult though as once they become friends I feel like I don't want to lose them by making a dating mistake.

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    • Yeah I understand, it would hurt a lot more to hurt an actual nice guy because of my own failings. But then we can't help still wanting to love and be loved can we? So we stay stuck in the middle not really doing anything... just in case.

    • Yeah, pretty much my whole life. lol

Most Helpful Guy

  • Why you need men? Why you think you are afraid of? Answering this will allow you to anderstand reason , then u have to decide if you really wanna try to know them... start having make friends , also always know that all men aren't same and not all of them are bad.

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What Girls & Guys Said

24
  • Well do what most women do, become a feminist and turn fear into hate.

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  • Have seen a therapist?

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    • *Have you seen a therapist?

    • I've tried mentioning it to professionals but they just say that when I meet 'the right guy' everything will be fine. I think that puts a lot of pressure on a future partner so Im trying to find ways to fix myself.

    • It might be helpful to express how scared and anxious the situation makes you feel

  • In detail why are u so fearful of men

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    • Don't friends with benefits your male friend if u are still rocky grounds with a guy the potential for something going bad is too high and may make u reverse of the progress u have made

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    • Oh I know haha! It's just that I sympathise with men who might be feeling the same way about women. I'll keep trying, just trying to find different solutions.

    • Yep well good luck

  • Be friends with them

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  • .38 special

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  • You should first know the man, become friends and then go for a relationship. So you will know who you're dating with, and will feel comfortable. Don't rush things with new guys and you'll be fine

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