Most Helpful Girl
I think it’s ridiculous how many ”nice guys” lack any sense of self-awareness at all, and think their only ”bad” trait is simply being ”too nice”.
First of all there’s no such thing as being too nice. But there is such a thing as being a doormat and letting people use you, however this should not be confused with niceness as they don’t mean the same thing.
Second of all, a good chunk of these ”nice guys” should dig a little bit deeper than thinking ”oh I’m just so nice and that’s why she doesn’t like me”. In what world do people not like nice people? Maybe you came on too strong, or the opposite - didn’t let her know you were into her. Maybe she isn’t interested in your interests, and therefore feels like you don’t have enough in common. Maybe she’s not attracted to your looks. Maybe she finds your personality annoying. Maybe you don’t have the same core values or beliefs. There are tons of reasons why someone might not want to be with you, and chalking it up to just being ”too nice” is lazy and quite narcissistic.5THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
Most Helpful Guy
Yes, partly. It's not because they're too nice as such, it's that in being too nice they avoid certain things and do other things that put women off.
For example if a guy is a typical "nice guy", he's always going to play it safe. He's too worried about not being liked. He's never going to say anything that he thinks could risk a bad reaction, for example disagreeing with the girl. Instead he'll agree with her on almost everything or he'll avoid having any strong opinions. This makes him seem fake, and it also makes him seem like a pushover, like he has no backbone. None of these things are attractive to women.
He'll avoid escalating anything, for example flirting, making a move to kiss her, for fear she might reject him. Women tend to prefer a guy who can take the lead, and often are too shy themselves to make a move like that. They prefer the guy to initiate. If he doesn't they get bored of him and go for a guy who will. Without either of them escalating it can't move forward, so they just put him in the friendzone.
Another thing is that in order for her to see a guy in a sexual/romantic way there has to be some sexual tension, and if the guy is playing it too safe he's gonna do everything he can to diffuse tension, he isn't gonna create any. Therefore she isn't gonna feel anything - this is what they mean when they say that you're a nice guy but there's "no spark". The "spark" is the sexual tension that the guy isn't creating.
They also come across as too needy because when you care too much about trying to impress someone, so much that you're unwilling to do anything to rock the boat, it just seems needy.
Or maybe they do try to escalate things, by buying her gifts and kissing her ass. Again, this comes across as try-hard and needy. Some read this as being manipulative too, like you're just doing those things to win them over.5THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE