I’m falling for a guy who isn’t ready for a relationship?

Okay so, I like this guy and he says he likes me but he isn’t ready for a relationship. I told him I was over him but then he said he was going to give us a shot. He’s confusing me mentally, and I like him so much. He just got out a relationship two months ago though, and before I knew we were a thing I made out with another guy. I told him the next day and he still isn’t over it and holds it over my head. But we weren’t anything yet and I didn’t know he liked me. I don’t know what to do?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Ughhhh. I hate this question.

    Okay, first thing's first, he really shouldn't be going into another relationship that soon after he got out of one. He needs time to be single, and that is most likely why he said he wasn't ready for a relationship.

    Now, you're basically making him choose between you, and taking the time he needs to be ready for a new relationship. That isn't fair. There are emotions that, in essence, need to be flushed out of his system, like anyone having just gotten out of a relationship. How would you like it if you got broken up with/broke up with someone, and you have a new someone asking you/begging you to be in a relationship with them?

    He may like you, but you should try to be a little bit more understanding in this situation. Would you want him to force a relationship that he isn't ready for? I don't think that would make a means for a good relationship, just a lot of spite, and regret.

    For someone that likes you, and you have been actively seeking each other out (in both cases for women and men) if you go hook up with someone else, then of course he's going to be upset about it. You already gave him something the hurt over, and that is definitely going to hurt you when you've gotten into the relationships with him.

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    • I completely understand that!! And I told him, and always said I’m not pushing you take the time you need for your self.

    • It won’t let me pm you because I’m not level2:(

    • I could probably dm you. Follow me?

Most Helpful Guy

  • Though I don't blame him since he just got out of a relationship, I must say (from my own experiences) that you should look for another guy (and if he really likes you, he should understand you doing just that).

    The thing is, that you don't know how long it'll take untill he "is ready" and for all you know, he could fall in love more with someone else.

    You know what'll happen in that case? You'll be all alone, feeling dumb, sad and sorry for all the guys you could've been with if you hadn't saved yourself, whereas he would be in love.

    Ofcourse if you move on and he gets in his rm"ready status" while you are still single, then just go to him and mingle 😂😂😂

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What Girls & Guys Said

625
  • I met a guy like that before, he told me he wasn't ready and we ended up talking for like a week bc I think he did like me at one point. Then he stopped talking to me and got a new girlfriend, then he cheated on her. Guys like that are not emotionally ready for a relationship, hence why they are being upfront about it. It's basically a warning, don't persue him, he seems a little jealous that you moved on but you will find its probably for the best.

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  • He isn't over his ex and I think he's using you kissing that guy as an excuse to end things or whatever. He's not stable enough for a relationship so if give up. I know what it's like to really like someone but they're not reciprocating. I don't think you needed to even tell him that you kissed that guy to begin with because you 2 weren't a "thing". He's got issues and until he clears those up I don't see anything going the way you'd like them too. Time to move on.

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  • I think you should keep urself away from him cz in every way u get hurt cz u have feelings for him and he is not in such state... even u wait it's not for sure that he come to you... if u become his friend still there is no chance that u get him in same way... so donot get hurt to urself... if u have feelings it means u r good person and thier is someone waiting for u.. let search that person

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  • If he is going to hold something that happened when you weren't together over your head, then he isn't for you. If he was truly into you then it wouldn't matter.

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  • Keep silent and do not get into any kind of relationship for sometime because this jumping from one to another will make you not only confused but you will end up in a mess. Instead get into some interesting hobby or work which keeps you busy and when you are in a good steady mind you can decide. Presently I think you need to be with yourself

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  • That's his problem. He should be made at himself for not snagging you up. You made out with another guy and were trying to move on because he said no. You did nothing wrong. He can't see it that way then let him go.

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  • Just tell him exactly what you just wrote and how much your into him if he can't get over it give one of us single guys a chance

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  • With just the information you have provided, it seems this will be difficult to work out. Two months out of a relationship? Not enough time to get over someone, let alone jump to another relationship. You guys are already having problems and aren't even much of a "thing" yet. I don't think it will be healthy for either of you. Get out while you can is my opinion.

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  • if he's lording this kiss over you, that screams red flag. if he is like this and your not with him, just imagine what he'll be like when you are with him. I know it hurts and it'll be painful, but you have to let him go, because if you don't he might be even more controlling further into the relationship.

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  • Two months after a breakup is a short time, you may end up being his rebound girl. He's also super controlling, he has no right to complain about you kissing another guy since you're not a couple. I'd suggest you run away.

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  • It seems to be quite simple. He just got out of relationship and thought that there could be a thing with you, but you made out with someone else. That's a red flag for the guy.

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  • I been there it only end in heart act she was in middle of a divorce. She divorcing him before we met but after her divorce she was exploring her “slutty” side.

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  • He's immature. Either toughen up and drop him or keep dealing with that bs.. He will keep doing it, i promise

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  • Happened to me. Actually I would love to tell you whole story and give you honest advice. Pm me if u want

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    • It won’t let me pm you bc is not level 2

    • Fuck! I really wanted to tell you

    • Same!! Can yo I explain it on here?

  • If you truly love him you will wait for him until he is ready for a relationship with you.

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  • Maybe he just got some things he gotta take care of b4 putting his self n a position with more on his plate

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  • if you like each other, when he's ready try it out! it could be meant to be!

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  • Which is it? Is he “ready” or not?

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  • Make out with him 😬

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  • He is holding you hostage, leave him

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  • I had been in a same situation

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  • Leave him

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  • Fuck it. Eat A banana

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  • You done fucked up.

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    • How did she mess up? They weren't in a relationship, he turned her down.

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    • After that you feel pretty dumb, don't you? Now you are just taking another breath, and you'll never do that again right?
      That's how the guy feels

    • What? Lol. There's a difference between using your experience to give someone advice and straight up acting like they are your ex and taking out your anger on them. I'm not angry about him or you or anything, I'm just questioning your motivation behind trying to scare a woman who didn't do anything wrong. He is not entitled to a relationship with her, especially considering he turned her down at first. Sure, his feelings may change, but why is it okay that his feelings change and not hers? You expect her to sit around and wait for him to be ready? Many people will use "I'm not ready for a relationship" as a nice way of rejecting someone permanently. If she had actually cheated on him then I would agree with you, but they are not together so he has no control over what she does or who she makes out with, so to feel resentment towards her for that would be completely uncalled for.

  • You have to convince him.

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  • Nither r u. Slow ur roll

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  • Hiii iam here to u

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  • go the way your heart feels

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  • Move on.

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  • Give me some more time

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  • You can change him

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