How can I be there for him when he's pushing me away?

My boyfriend is the most kindest affectionate person but suffers so badly from anxiety recently a lot has happened in his life.. work stress, a few close friends deaths and a few other things, he is always down and upset. He hardly rings or messages me but when he does he says I just don't understand what he's going through and it's a really low point in his life, we haven't seen eachother for 2 week but he insists he doesn't want to finish things he just needs time but doesn't want to see me at the moment he has openly said he is pushing me away but he can't help it because he doesn't want my help and he just wants to deal with things on his own.. if we do speak it does seem like he's taking things out on me he can sometimes say nasty things then say he doesn't mean it and says this is why he doesn't want to be around me ATM... I just want to help but it's making things worst ! What can I do should I just leave him to deal with it alone?

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  • Just let him know you're there to listen or help however if he needs you. Leave him alone, but check in. If his behavior is unacceptable, then correct him and let him know. Devastaing life tragedies are hard to deal with and each person does need to do it in their own time however it works best for them. It doesn't mean they get to lash out at you cause they're upset.

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  • With him being a kind and affectionate person, his depression from work stress and death of close friends has mentally affected him in a way where he doesn't want to hurt you because he's afraid of lashing out on you. The problem with his plan is that the longer he isolates himself from you and everyone around him, the worst it'll get as the depression will manifest himself mentally and emotionally without someone there to check on him.

    Let him know that if he needs emotionally support, that you'll be there for him whenever he's ready. Periodically like once a week, give him a call and check up on him to see if things have gotten better, the same or worse. It's ultimately up to him to make the choice if he wants a helping hand or not. If he loves you enough, he'll contact you when he's ready.

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  • Isolating yourself and lashing out are major signs of depression, he should honestly seek help

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