Do you think it's wrong that I'm a bit upset my boyfriend isn't a virgin?

So my boyfriend and I had that talk the other day and I found out he's been more active then I thought. He made himself seem so pure and not involved with anyone. He said that the girls before him didn't mean too much and that he loves me. I was a little disappointed because I am a virgin and I thought it would be cute if we lost ours to each other. I didn't make a big deal out of it with him but it did bother me a little bit. Why do guys have sex with other girls if they don't mean that much to them? Am I wrong to be a bit upset? I was waiting for someone that I cared for and to know that the other person didn't do that hurts.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • He could be saying that person didn't mean anything to not make you more mad. Or maybe he cared more about their body then he did them (most likely). I would have thought you have that kinda talk before officially going out but it's ok to be disappointed more than upset.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Did he actually tell you that he's a virgin?

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    • No he kept everything private but put off this persona that he wasn't involved in sex

    • So, he didn't lie to you then. Maybe he feels inexperienced and/or ashamed of his last performance that he'd rather keep it to himself. Don't let this issue eat you up. You can still both make your first special.

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What Girls & Guys Said

08
  • It makes sense why it would bother you, but not you being mad at him. Just because he had sex with other girls doesn't mean he cared about them. 9/10, people lose their virginity due to peer pressure, but they convince themselves it's because they are in love. Girls have sex too. How would you feel if you've had sex several times, but you're virgin boyfriend is mad at you for it?

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  • You're not wrong.
    I prefer virgin girls. To make a long discussion short... sex is never "just sex," and it's completely reasonable for you to take it seriously and be disappointed that he apparently doesn't.
    One of the hardest things a guy can do is keep it in his pants, and it means something when a guy chooses to remain virgin until he finds his lifelong companion. Your boyfriend can't give that to you, unfortunately.
    Tell him how you feel about it, none of us can fix this for you.

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  • No it's not wrong to be upset, I think it's sweet when two virgins have sex, to be in love and explore sex the first time together is an amazing experience. But not many people get to have that, in reality many things might be worse than expected and you might actually like your first time to be with a guy who can blow you away with a few orgasms.

    Every girl I had sex with means a lot to me, I think your guy might just say what he thought most guys would say when you questioned him.

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  • You're not wrong for feeling what you are feeling, but you have to understand male biology. We wanna screw everything that is cute and shows an interest in us. It's harder for us to wait.

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    • Ok, but that is not an excuse for doing it.
      Men often offer desire as justification for their actions, but this is a poor excuse.

    • I agree. But it doesn't stop them from using it as an excuse. Men lose their virginity as soon as the first opportunity arises. To be honest I don't see the big deal of it all. It's only value is sentimental.

  • Unless he lied to u and at some point said he is a virgin no u have no right to be upset with him sure u can be upset but that's tour problem not his

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    • "You have no right to be upset with him" umm... ok, people have the right to feel what they feel. She never accused him of having a problem, she is just disappointed that her boyfriend is not the guy she thought he was. What are you talking about?

    • Yes u have the right to feel how u want but those that mean it's right no it's not lol

  • It's understandable. Happen to everyone. It's okay.

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  • Don't feel upset he told you the truth. If you want a virgin guy there are so many lol.

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  • Yes its wrong he was honest with you and the past is the past

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