Why did he tell me I'm going to do "whatever with whoever"?

My boyfriend and I have been arguing this week, and he keep telling me he loves me (I haven't said it back yet--we're still pretty new). Anyway he said I'm being so frustrating by not telling him how I feel or giving him a glimmer of hope, and he guesses he'll just have to accept whatever happens, and that I'm going to do "whatever with whoever." That part pissed me off as I felt it implied I'm sleeping around or something (when we don't even have sex). Why would he say that, even in the heat of an argument?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • As you said, people say all sorts of things in the heat of the moment, but given the background of your story, I can see why he might say that. I think that it's not so much that he's implying that you're sleeping around, but he's describing how he feels you're treating him. You're having this relationship with him, but you won't give him the commitment and affirmation that he feels he deserves given the state of your relationship. This is the doing "whatever with whoever" that he's talking about.

    Anyway, the guy is clearly hugely insecure and while I don't think you should cave and tell him something that you don't really mean, maybe you can find a way to assure him that you like him and care for him? Although to be honest, there just may be nothing you can do about this guy. Maybe it's a little old school male of me, but I feel that men should keep insecurities like this to themselves rather than dumping them on their partner.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Sounds like he said he will fuck who ever he wants

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • He's at a breaking point and at the very least he's looking at options. You're at a crossroads so you'll have to make a decision. If you don't want to say I love you then talk about committment and exclusivity to each other. If he needs those words more than a commitment dump him.

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  • He feels your not committing on the same level as he is since you did not say I love you back. In his mind he started a relationship and you are still single and thus able to do what you want with whomever you want.

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  • He told you that because he feels he's way more into this relationship than you and that makes him think that you could just dump him on the fly or that you just don't want to commit because you want to keep your options open.

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  • Because he wants things to happen soon... like sex. How long have you been dating? Why are you not having sex if you have been dating for some time?

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  • He said that because he doesn't feel like you are committing yourself to him.

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  • He's basically saying he feel like your not into him and are going to end up with someone else and he just has to accept it.

    Clearly your not giving him enough information for him to be secure in the relationship. Some guys would handle that find other guys who are a bit more insecure orbwhobhave been hurt before will struggle not feeling there partner feels the same way they do.

    He's not saying you are sleeping around his voiceing his worst fear which is he thinks your end up with someone else

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  • How new is new?

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  • He is insecure
    Why
    I hope you know this better

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  • Because THAT IS THE MESSAGE YOU ARE GIVING HIM!

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