Would you care if the person you're dating is still in contact with their ex?

Recently, I have been seeing this guy for a couple of weeks now.
We had 4 great dates so far
He wants to see me often
I am quite attracted to him and he's quite nice and sweet guy
He told me that he wants something serious between us because he likes me
On our 4th date, he asked me to be his girl
But I told him "I like you too but lets not rush it and hangout more"
And he replied "Yea I understand"
But the thing is...
Im still in contact with my ex boyfriend
We broke up 4 months ago and we are still in contact every week
And we hangout nearly every week as well
The guy Im seeing.. doesn't know Im still in contact and hanging out with my ex
He told me about his past relationship:
- broke up 10 months ago
- his ex was clingy
- he's not in contact with her anymore
Do you think he will care if I tell him that im still talking and hangingout with my ex?
Or most guys dont care?
  • Yes I would care
    Vote A
  • Nah I wouldn't care
    Vote B
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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1212

Most Helpful Girl

  • As long as you're mature enough not to do something stupid there isn't any problem to be in contact with your ex. Im still in contact with my ex and we see eachother maybe even too often but were actually great as friends. My man is in contact with his ex too and i dont see anything wrong in that. People can think and make their own decisions. We have full trust in someone till its broken and if they break your trust they will carry the weight on their shoulders. People are making the whole "ex topic" like a taboo when the ex's have the same chance to fk your partner if not even less than any other person on this world.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • 1. why would you be hanging out with him? Did he all of a sudden turn into this fabulous best friend now? 2. Why would you tell the current guy that you are hanging out with him? What possible good could come of that? Do you just really deep down want to date both? So many questions here.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls & Guys Said

1111
  • Deal breaker for me. People think it's weird but when I go through a break up, I delete pictures of us, their number, their everything. And we have zero contact with each other. When I say that "sure I'm friends with my ex," what I personally mean is that I don't plan on hitting them with my car.

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  • Soo I voted yes, BUT that's only being that it seems like, from the way you described your current relationship with your ex, that you still have feeling for him/at least aren't OVER the relationship yet.. That being said, I don't think there's any problem with either party who're dating still being friends with an ex while in a relationship, so long as they (person with the ex still in their life) don't have any intentions themselves, to pursue a romantic relationship with that ex

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    • I mean, that, and provided the ex-friend isn't actively trying to undermine your current relationship either, even if they still have feelings for you.. I think you oughta be totally honest with YOURSELF about what exactly you want out of still being friends with your ex.. And if that's friendship, and only that? Then you're fine, and I'd recommend being honest with the person you're seeing sooner rather than later so it doesn't become an issue of trust between you two

  • I think the level of contact would matter, and weekly hangouts is on the high side.

    I can't speak for your new man, obviously, but I think most men might look askance at that, tbh.

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  • For me it would depend why they're still in contact.

    Were they really good friends before dating and salvaged a friendship when things didn't work out?
    Do they have kids together?
    Do they have a lot of mutual friends that ends up putting them in contact with each other anyway?

    Those a re just a few examples of situations where I would be open to someone I was seeing still having contact with an ex. From the sound of your situation, I wouldn't be ok with it. Your break up is very recent, and I wouldn't feel certain that there wasn't still lingering feelings and would worry that I'm just a rebound.

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  • Wouldn't bother me if she was still in touch with her ex, he's an ex, so as long as she's mature I would comfortably assume I am better than he is based on him being the ex, and me being the new.

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  • It shows Me he wouldn't have Moved on from the Ghost Girl from the Past, This is no Blast. xx

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  • Your type and level of contact I would care. If they simply meet occasionally because they have mutual friends and neither got kicked out of the group, then it wouldn't bother me too much.

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  • I would never want the person I'm dating talking to thier ex. They see an ex for a reason, and I would always feel uneasy about the whole thing.

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  • Not really. I am still friend with my ex so that would be hypocrite.

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  • Think you need to provide more details on why you broke up, and the circumstances behind it first

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  • Yes I would care if a girl I'm dating is still in contact with her ex.

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  • I personally would not mind but every person is different

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  • Into the trash she goes.

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  • That wouldn't work

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  • If nothing was going on I wouldn't care.

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  • Not cool if they have feelings

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  • He's going to care.

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  • I would care. Because l know that anything can happen.

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  • I'd care

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  • Deal breaker for me because i have seen this "i am starting to miss my ex" situation about a million times now i have actually made that a red flag and i will make sure that any person i see in the future will be free from that.

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  • Being in contact with your ex would appear that you're not over them, and if you get in a relationship and still have lingering feelings with your ex whilst the guy is there 100% for you, then it's gonna be so unfair

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  • Yes I would care. The guy I'm dating now was in contact with his ex and I actually broke it off when I found out and told him it's me or her, that I'm not going to be with someone who's still in contact with their ex. Because no, I'm not doing that. I have no contact with my ex, and I'm faithful, loyal and completely focused on the person I'm dating when it comes to guys and so I expect the same in return. To me it doesn't matter if it's friendly contact or more, I can't know what you're talking about/doing and I'm not going to sit there and worry about it either. In that case there are other guys out there - guys who're not in contact with their exes! Now, he stopped all contact with her and we're basically together. If they ever get in contact again I will break up and never go back to him. It's conpletely disrespectful to be in contact with your ex while you're dating somebody else.

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    • Firstly I know this is absolutely none of my business and I am sorry to interject- but in my opinion I think that's just downright immature of you. For one, he could have contact with her for personal reasons. If they're just friends, you shouldn't be upset by it... I am still friends with my ex, and another guy I've dated and I would still respect my boyfriend and let him know that. Personally I feel that if a girl is that insecure to be with a guy, then maybe it's best that she shouldn't be with him. It seems that you clearly don't trust your partner enough or have an established relationship built on mutual trust and loyalty, because otherwise you wouldn't have such a problem with him being in contact with his former girlfriend. Relationships like this are very toxic and I truly hope that perhaps either you change your mindset or that he will eventually find someone better. That's strictly my opinion however; and I am in no way trying to judge or ridicule you in any way.

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