Is it necessary to have your lover meet your parents?

I grew up in a very racist household and I don’t want someone that I could be spending the rest of my life with being disrespected by my own family. I’m Puerto Rican and Dominican but my family wants me to date a Caucasian man. I have no problem with dating a Caucasian man I just don’t want that to be my only choice. What should I do?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think if your mom doesn't embarrass you a lot like mine and you think about being with this person for a long time yes I think you he should meet your parents the racism part I mean the only problem with that is if he is black

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Most Helpful Girl

  • If you're one who believes in receiving your parents blessing, having them involved in your wedding if things become serious with you and your man, then yes, it is of importance.

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What Girls & Guys Said

711
  • Get rid of the racist influences in your life as soon as you can. If you ever decide to have a kid, tell your parents they won't get to meet the child because you don't want him/her learning racist behavior.

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  • Date who u want if it comes down to having to meet the parents tell him before hand yo my folks are kinds racist

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  • Picking a partner because of their ethnicity is a silly way to look for love. You just search for respect & connection let skin tone not be on your list. Parents will have to deal whoever you bring home as far as looks

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  • It's your life, your choices. Date who you want. But eventually he will have to meet your parents. If he loves you, he can endure one weird afternoon...

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  • I'm sorry first of all and with anyone you date you need to explain this to them because they might not be able to handle this so it could be leading them on, I can see your age is 16 so maybe hold off waiting until you're an adult to date just because then you're more aware of your situation and more developed in your own life to know how to take on this situation cause eventually family life and personal life collide

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  • Tell your parents to check the family history for any African ancestry. If you're Dominican the most common people is black so I don't understand what the problem is. Tell them to mind their business, they are not the ones going out looking for someone, planning to have kids, and having fun with whoever they want.

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  • If you do not want your lover to meet your family then you will have to choose between the two eventually. You need to stand up to your family and have faith your lover is strong enough to take what they dish.

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  • LoL. Your reasoning sounds ironically racist, but I'll be honest:

    Yes, if you want things to become more. Give him a heads up tho, so it's not an insane shock (and tone down possibilities of you warn him).

    Now, you know your parents better than I do, so here's the question:

    Tell them straight out
    Show up and let it be a surprise
    Slowly bring it up, "hey I'm seeing this guy" Week later, "He wants to meet you guys" (good if it's his idea). Days later. "I want you to meet him, bit I'm nervous about it"~

    There's another choice, tell them at that point
    Don't say, just have everyone meet

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  • Go with whom ever makes you happy in life and let your family dictate who you can or cannot be with.

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  • At some pt u'll have to stand up for u'rself after all its u'r life

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  • Not necessary at all. I would very much want to avoid that

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  • No because it ain't your parents business of who you are dating... it is your business

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  • It is but everyone is different

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  • Not necessary

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  • Not until I'm sure he's "the one".

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  • If u r planning a future yeah

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  • I don’t think that it’s necessary

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  • You are 16

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