Accidentally led guys on while in a relationship. What now?

Guys message me sometimes on social media. I always causually mention my boyfriend but I keep the conversation going. As I do this, I’m legit just getting to know someone and I’m looking for nothing more than a friend.

I showed this conversation to my boyfriend today and he went from happy to really upset and I didn’t mean to hurt him in any way. He tells me I’m guillable and that I’m not seeing that these guys 1) don’t respect me 2) are trying to get at me 3) I’m leading them in by keeping the conversation going.

I swear I didn’t mean anything wrong and when a guy flirted with me, I always mentioned my boyfriend.

I guess i was playing with fire fire so I just unfriended any guy that attempted to ask me out and conversate with me even though they knew I had a boyfriend.

But my boyfriend told me I could say all I want but he doesn’t feel reassured right now. He still held my hand in the car ride back. I told him I was worried his feelings changed for me and he told me he still wanted to marry me and all that. But I assume I lost his trust.

How owe do I gain this back and how can I make him happy again?
Did I lose his trust?


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What Girls & Guys Said

  • I think many of us - men and women - flirt even when we're attached. It's a way of affirming that we're still sexually attractive without necessarily taking things any further than that. Personally, I avoid flirting when my wife is around because it would upset her. But I have a friend who's a monstrous flirt and his wife just laughs about it. It sounds like your boyfriend isn't the type to laugh about it so you'll either need to stop flirting altogether or at least do it on the sly.

    • I don’t flirt with these guys. Unless talking to guys alone is flirting?

    • Or at least guys who message me

  • its gonna be hard

    • I’m willing to do what it takes

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