Can I expect her to split the bill? Too much?

Okay, the story- there's this girl that went to the same college I did, we only met a couple of months ago through a common friend. We later exchanged numbers and met, had drinks and she confessed she had a crush on me back in college and we made out. We got really close after that (through texting) and decided to meet again (after over a month) and hang around, we exchanged gifts, went on a tour of nyc, had food, spent the night at a hotel (made out again). In all, she was like we can't marry, I'm afraid I'm falling for her (that's a different story though). We're both are pretty sure we're not boyfriend-grirlfriend. In all I spent about 500 bucks that day for tickets, hotel and food, (she once paid for a pictures) and being a student its a bit too much for me. I was wondering if it would be polite to ask her to share the money as I've been waiting for almost a week and she didn't ask about sharing the bill. Or is it rude to expect a girl to pay for what was not an actual date?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Dude the fuck. Snap the fuck out, ya know, when you go on a trip with girls, make them dependable on you, maybe through the conversation. Then when you ask to split the bill, it's not so awkward. Because you're providing value in a different sense, conversation. In that sense, she needs you to have fun. So if she technically "doesn't pay", she might feel awkward as if she don't pay, she might feel bad that you're doing absolutely everything. Including spending your time, effort, energy and your money? But for this to work, you need to put your heart out, so that splitting the bill comes naturally. I hope you get my point, cuz this is a little hard to get. But once you get the point, life's fun. Like really fun, because it's not all on you. *Tl:dr ; Show her than you're a fun person even without her, that's the point. So that she has to fuckin pay to stay.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • That's completely open for discussion between the two of you.. Nothing wrong with a girl paying for a movie, dinner, show whatever. Just be honest and talk about it

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    • Hm, it was not even a date both of us just wanted to meet and hang around. Do you think it's fair that I need to bear the entire expense just because I'm a male?

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    • Ummm no not all of us are..

    • Don't you think this definitely was as are most who replied to this question?

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • You should have brought it up at the time, not sending her a bill a week later. If you paid for everything on the day without making it clear you’d need anything back or asking her to cover part then I think it’s pretty rude to ask for it later, and would take it as a lesson for next time.
    Be up front about money expectations so people have the chance to decide if they think the activity is worth the money.
    Don’t live beyond your means to impress a girl then have regrets

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    • First, I never asked her out, we're not dating, we just hung around, the places we went to were mutually decided she never came forward to bring her card out while paying for tickets that's why I took mine thinking we'd split it later like it is with guys and other friends. Never tried to impress, neither of us is interested in taking it to the next. I donno why bi***** don't read.

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    • And a lot of people DON’T, which is what you don’t seem to get even with many telling you that’s their perception too. You didn’t buy everything online, that’s not an excuse and even for that item you could have said “I’ll grab these online, did you want to get lunch later or just transfer me your half” and you chose not to. Instead of whining about how bitches should just get it, learn from the experience that not everyone assumes the same as you do and learn how to communicate better.
      I haven’t said anything about gender here, mine has been based on a situation of two people going out - nothing about gender or a relationship except the fact you clearly didn’t want to make a bad impression by asking her for money but continued to spend above your means.
      Obviously you’re just one of those whiney guys who wants to blame everyone for his own poor choices instead of bettering his circumstances for next time though so enjoy that 👍🏻

    • I love when little boys can’t handle reasonable alternate perceptions to theirs on human behaviour and only have name calling to fall back on. Obviously something there hits a nerve and instead of reflecting on how you can change your own behaviour and actions to avoid this situation again (which I’ve even pointed out alternatives you could have utilised) you come back with calling me a gold digging cunt 😂
      media0.giphy.com/media/WEn8ButHPaTCM/giphy.gif
      Good luck, I think you’ll need it 😊

  • honestly i wouldn't like a man asking me to share a bill. i would do it myself if i wanted but if you want to save up a little. go places where you know u are not gonna spend much. watch a movie at someone house, take a walk beside the sea. etc.

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    • Another would be gold digger

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    • You are stupid and sexist.

    • no i am trying to help u but u won't stop following you fucking way of thinking. your loss

  • Just tell her upfront before going anywhere that you can't afford to pay for her.

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    • Well, we're both students also it wasn't a date we just wanted to meet and hang around. Wouldn't you even feel like you need to pay for your stuff when you hang around with a guy or a any person for reason?

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    • You just acted like one. Would you say the same if the sexes were reversed?

  • Talk to her if she's really into you she will understand unless she just wanna hang out with you coz you pay for everything but communication is a key

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    • Thanks, I'm glad you could understand.

    • Well said.

  • girls wouldn't like that tbh ! that will be so rude cuz u the one who initiated the idea and planned to pay everything I mean u didn't have to but u chose that

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    • I never said it was a date or that I initiated it. Even if I did initiate it do you think it's fair that I had to bear the entire expenses just because I'm a guy.

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    • fair enough

    • All I paid was for essential stuff, room , food, tickets and parking. Nothing fancy

  • Yes its okay to ask her to split. Especially if its expensive and its not the first time you had been on a date

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    • It was not a date, both of us are sure we don't intend to get married. We just wanted to hang around.

    • You think it's okay. I'm afraid she'd judge me.

    • *You think it'll be okay?

  • I would kinda be sad :( you should not ask her do that. Leave her thoo, bcs she doesn’t care and notice you’ve paid so much

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    • Hope you don't grow up to be one of those gold digger bitches.

    • What? Hey asker , she's telling you to leave that person coz she doesn't care about or even notice that you paid so much , whats with the hate?

    • She said she'd be sad to pay for her expenses and also that I shouldn't ask for that.

  • You're a student, tell her about it. If she can't understand this she's not worthy of your time and money.

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  • Brother. Girlfriends are trophies. We can't pay, can't keep them. True love. Doesn't exist in ordinary.

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  • Yeah you should talk to her about it. $500 is a bit too much so I hope that she'll understand

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  • You're an idiot if u spent hundreds of dollars on a girl u barely know!

    Stop buying affection

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    • No, I'm not trying to.

    • Also as I said I thought she was my friend.

  • Split the bill with her or dump her because she's a gold digger

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  • Talk to her about it

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  • Just talk about it. I bet she'll understand

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  • You can expect her to split the Bill

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  • Such issues are best addressed beforehand.

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  • lol no

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  • It doesn't matter what you expect, you should be nice and take care of it yourself.

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