Can you love someone who is really different from you? and maybe out of your league?

We meet during our biology class in university, he is really handsome, kind and carring, but there some differences between us:
- he is an atheist and I’m Christian!
When he told me that, I was really upset, but he told me, that despite don’t believing in God he really believe in us. He thought it was romantic, but for me it was upsetting. It’s not the only thing there
- he is a liberal and I’m a conservative
- he’s a pro-choice while I am against abortion.
- he had several girlfriends In his past, but he is the first man I had ever kissed

When I told him that I was waiting marriage, to have sexe, he was upset about that, the same way I was about his believes. But he always write me poems, and he told me that just being with me makes him happy. The other probleme is that he came from a wealthy family, and mine is just well... normal. His dad is a ceo and his mother a doctor, while my parents have a lot of liability. For example he don’t get why I can’t go to a date with him sometimes, because I had planned to work, so I can help my family. And he visited a lot of countries while I don’t even have a passeport. I just noticed these days that we are really different. The only thing we share is that we are very romantic, but I know that life is not a fairy tail. I always say to myself that maybe he will meet a girl prettier than me, since he’s better looking than me. Wealthier than me so they can share the same interest, and maybe a girl that will share the same beliefs. I don’t know why I can’t help but be afraid. Should I break up with him? What should I do?
Can you love someone who is really different from you? and maybe out of your league?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • If a guy is pro choice but the girl is pro life, I don't think it should be a problem. It could have been a problem if it had been the other way around. Him having many girlfriends earlier doesn't mean he won't be as committed and loving and loyal. If you think that way, then it's just in your head. And I really don't get why people have to be supporters. Why do we have to be a liberal or a conservative. I'm liberal half the time (climate change is real and government should do more) and conservative half the time (capitalism, free trade and pro life). I'll vote based on the candidate and the promises. Why be affiliated? Why not open minded?
    As for you being religious and him being atheist. That can be quite an interesting relationship. You may feel since you love him, you should convince him about the "truth" and he'll try to convince you otherwise. It can be fun just make sure you guys don't fight over it...

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    • So what he's rich. Haven't you seen The Notebook? Or even Titanic for that matter? 😂😂 If you're looking for love then it doesn't matter as sooner or later you'll be the same household. But if you're not looking for love, then it has to end sometime, better end it now.

Most Helpful Girl

  • "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?" I'm going to break it down and be honest. If you guys really love each other, that's great. But here's the thing, if you're a Christian like you say you are, then it's supposed to be the biggest part of your life. And if you're thinking long-term or even just casual dating you are sharing your life with someone else. If he doesn't believe the same way you do or doesn't believe what you believe there is always going to be a huge part of your life that he won't understand. And vice versa.

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What Girls & Guys Said

423
  • I've been to over 30 countries and I don't consider a hell bound atheist out of my league - no matter how many millions or Harvard phds he has. A real christian who wasn't writing fictional made up stories would not find an atheist out of their league. Your not Christian at all.

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  • I think you have too many differences to be a good couple. As for feeling like you’re not pretty enough for him, don’t worry. There’s no such thing as “out of the league”. If a guy truly loves you he’d think you’re prettiest in the world. But I’d break up with this guy purely due to too many conflicting beliefs

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  • Look, there's a reason you too are together. Maybe you'll overcome your problems (with a lot of effort) or learn about them and be prepared for the next one. Have faith that everything's gonna work out like it should be.

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  • "Don't get yourself mismatched with unbelievers". It might hurt, but may end up the wisest choice! At least that's what they tell you in church. Look up the Scriptures, seek advice from those closest to you, then make your decision.

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  • Love overcomes all boundaries. If you really love someone it shouldn't matter what they think. I'm an atheist for my own reasons, but that doesn't mean I won't date a relegious girl, as long as she doesn't force it on me.

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  • If you two don't have the same core values then things will be rough

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  • Yeah you can but you have already answered this for yourself an it seems like the answer is no. So you might as well keep it simple and stay classmates before you do something your morality will regret.

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  • Put it this way ask him, "you know because I'm religious and you're not would you mind having a wedding in a church." If he's willing to do that then he's willing to make compromises so should you.

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  • If you love him stick with it. Maybe one day he will come around. Maybe God put you in his life for a reason. You never know. If you truly love each other hang in there. God may have a plan for him.

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  • Sorry but common sense is yes. I couldn't read past the "but he is aethiest" part. Grow uo an accept others opinions.

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  • my league is very high :DDD
    there is no girl in my league on the earth :DD
    so i prefer to fug myself :DD

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  • No... I don't think so coz adjustments never last. You have to accept the way he is otherwise don't waste your time

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  • Yes, it's quite possible like once I was in love with a woman she' was completely from a. Different league

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  • Don't let differences in believes get between you. Accept them for what they are and talk about it and learn new perspectives from each other. I fully support believes when they bring you piece of mind and values to life by, but since there are many different believes in the world learn from each one and don't be stuck in only one believe. As far as other differences. There are always changes one if you finds someone else who steals your hart independent of your wealth or anything else. Don't let those things get in your way. If thus feels right go for it, enjoy it and learn from it.

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  • His beliefs shouldn't (not don't) upset you, unless he's told you yours are wrong, or that you're wrong for believing them. His view on abortion doesn't really matter either, since you would be the one with child. The age old saying "opposites attract" is unfortunately very common. The biggest thing to consider is how he treats you, how he talks to you, and how you feel about him and when you're around him.
    However, abstinence could be a big thing in the future for him. Telling a sexually active guy he can't have any till marriage is difficult, but not impossible. It depends on what kind of a person he is.

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  • This is going to end up on a sad note, but good luck

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  • I would say to follow your heart and not what most people say.

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  • If everyone had to do everything exactly the same nothing would ever get done

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  • Love can changed everything.. if both if you are really in love, no fear !!

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  • Love is all about loving someone else's with their imperfections

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  • I feel bad for him. You don't seem like you're worth the effort.

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    • No. We're just not unreasonable people.

    • Or maybe you two just are very special. I can accept your faulty view of me. Thank you for reminding me the reason I debate and study in the first place.

  • The answer is in a song called "why" _"Sabrina carpenter"

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  • Talk to him. Be honest about what you feel.

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  • Talk to him. Tell him your worries.

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  • Yes...

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  • Yeah

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  • Yeah.

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