Boyfriend wants to be left alone. What should I do?

My boyfriend and I have had a good relationship for the past 9 months. He is so good to me. We have had some problems here and there but always gotten through them.

Whenever he seems to be upset, he doesn’t want to talk about it all the time he would rather be left alone. For example today I was sick off school so I didn’t get to see him and he told me that he would call me that night. After school he posted something on his private instagram account with the caption “Shitty day :/“ So I asked him what was wrong and he told me he didn’t want to talk about it. That he didn’t feel like calling and that it didn’t have anything to do with me but he just wanted to be left alone.

Now I am worried and upset and I just want him to tell me what is up. I don’t really know if it has anything to do with me but he told me it didn’t, I always just think the worst.
Should I just leave it for now and leave him alone? Someone please help me understand xx

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think that you should respect his wishes and give him some space. If he said it's not about you then I would believe him. When he's ready to talk about whatever happened, he will. I know it's hard but pressuring him to talk about something when he's told you he doesn't want to will only push him further away. You just have to take a step back and wait for him to come to you. Sometimes you just have to let people have their space and then when they're ready, they will open up.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • it seems you just answered yourself...
    but yeah, some people just like being alone, and can't open up about what theyre feeling. you gotta learn to respect that. just tell him that you're always there if he wants to talk about it, and that's that. if it's something actually important, don't worry, he will let you know.

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What Girls & Guys Said

48
  • Guys don't talk about there feelings openly. Its rare for us to open up and feel like we can go to someone. Its not that we don't trust them its that its too hard to open up. Its also easier to destress and most times I find if I want to be left alone its because I need to destress and I know what works. Id say he found something that works and will just do it.

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  • I tend not to tell people when something bothers me and like to be alone, just give him a bit of time. If it really bothered him it might take a couple days, he may have something he does when he's alone. For me i usually go play drums for an hour or so just letting go of whatever made me upset or angry. No need to assume the worst, give him some time and tell him you're there when he feels like talking or not.

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  • Leave him alone. Many guys/men don´t talk about their emotions, and to stay alone for awhile.

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  • dont completely shut him off. Tell him to text/call you when he's ready to and tell him that no matter what is bothering him, you are there. Maybe he sees you as clingy so just give him a bit a space.

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  • You can just tell him that you are there for him when and if he wants to talk and otherwise give him some space

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  • Give him space. Maybe casually bring it up a few days later but if he doesn’t want to talk about it, don’t press the issue.

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  • Men can be complicated sometimes just like women. You should talk to him. Tell him you really love him. Let him know he doesn't have to hold things back with you. Be there for him. Let him know how you just want to be there for him if he needs anything. Let him know he can trust you. Don't lecture him about what he says even if its little off what he says. Let Jim get comfortable opening up to you without causing him to go back in his shell. You will have to feel him out and see what works. Good luck

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  • Give him a day or two and then ask him what was wrong that day

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  • Work is not this guy's only problem, Jesus.

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  • Leave him alone and let him work things out

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    • And talk about your problems
      Communication is key to a long and lasting reliationship

  • My boyfriend used to do this but to a smaller extent. Basically what I did was give him a little space and after a bit of time I told him he has to start opening up more, that this is what partners are for, and I can't really be with someone who is in it for the fun conversations, but not the deep. It's too empty, unrealistic and unreliable that way. So when he heard the importance of this, he gradually started opening up with some help. But be kind while you do this! - thats important.

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  • Something is going on in his life right now that he doesn’t want to talk about. Respect his wishes and give him some space.

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