How do you figure out if he’s in it for the long run or just sticking around for a good time?

Besides the obvious of just asking head on..

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1028

Most Helpful Guy

  • Depends on what you mean by a good time? Are you constantly having sex? Is he mooching of you and getting everything he wants? Did he move in with you and not paying for anything? Are you always doing everything for him while he does nothing for you? If one or more of these questions match what's going on chances are he may just be there for the good time not the long run

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    • He pays for everything talks about me moving closer like to him, but I have a daughter and it’s a touchy subject sometimes I feel even though he says it’s not? Just confusing :/

    • Ok thanks for replying and yes when you have children it can make it harder... For me I won't just let any girl meet my daughter and if they do meet her it's never straight away because I want to protect her and is my priority..

      It sounds from what I can tell from your reply he is trying to make the most time he can with you and I could almost safely say he is trying to make a fair go from this between u both :) give him a chance cause it doesn't sound like he is going away anytime soon

Most Helpful Girl

  • If he talks about the future with a mention of you in it perhaps.
    If he’s there for you to offer emotional support and not just there when there’s a chance he’ll get laid

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What Girls & Guys Said

927
  • They're sticking around for a good time until or unless you prove your worthiness. And vice versa. That's the whole key to dating - discernment.

    So, what exactly DO you bring to a relationship that would be considered 'high value'? It pays to be able to articulate this, cuz a high-value guy will expect it. And no, it's not your golden vagina.

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    • Why u have to be always right

    • Cuz he's old as fuuuuck jk xD

    • YUP. Old AF. :) BTDT, got the t-shirt.

      Wifey ver 1.0 thought cooking, cleaning, and fucking were three cities in china.

      Wifey ver 2.0 cooks the most awesome cuisine, makes sure I get something to eat cuz I'm hypoglycemic, never says 'no', loves to go, loves to be with me, makes a ton of money herself - she even bought me a boat. And she's WAY prettier than ver 1.0. Younger too.

      The only problem is that first mistake cost me right at a half-mil to divorce. That's right, about $500,000. And people ask why divorce costs so much, the answer is BECAUSE IT'S WORTH IT!!

  • if he's interested in your futures, like if he talks about marriage or things that would include you, as opposed to saying he's (without including you) planning to move to africa or wherever, or if when you bring it up he doesn't want to talka bout it or is reall uninterested

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  • Good God don't ask straight out. Guys don't like being put on the spot like that.
    See how it develops.
    If he is interested in things that dont involve you being naked that's a positive sign
    If you are not sure just wait 5 or so years and see if you're still together :)

    There is no real way to know. Just go with how he makes you feel about yourself

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  • He’ll treat you like a princess if he’s in it for the long term. If he’s spending money and sharing his feelings and talking about the future or telling you personal stuff, chances are he’s in it for the long term

    If he’s not sharing anything with you and doesn't really do anything with you other than sex, he’s in it for a good time

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  • you have to accept that everyone is a free person. if he will stick around will show when he sticks around. you can't expect it to happen and you can't "make" it happen. you can just observe what happens and hope for the best.

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  • You don't ask yourself that question, don't hope for it, don't empose it, spend time with whoever you like, if you're suited for eachother a relationship will ensue... don't force it, if you have to force it's not worth it !

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  • You don't. That's on him. Worry less about his intentions and more about bringing your A game though and if he was just looking for sex you may make him realise how awesome you are so he wants to be in a relationship with you. Focus on what is more within your control.

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  • I would say figure out which side of that question your on. And then just have fun with the relationship and dont worry. Especially if your not going to ask. There is no guarantee. I could tell you I want to marry you and spend the rest of my life with you and then in 2 years still no wedding and I decide I want to pack and move to Egypt. Life is short. Just enjoy having someone right now. But if you absolutley want someone for the long run. Treat them like you do, just dont compromise your own dignity in the process and be real about whether the relationship is still good or you should move on.

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  • Ask him what his goal is in life. If he doesn't have one he's probably not ready. If he does have one see if it matches up with yours if they work together

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  • Simply wait a LONG TIME.. if he truly loves you he will be with you through your great and bad times.. if he's just looking for sex or a good time.. he will leave as soon conflict happens

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  • Tell him you dont wanna have sex til marriage or say you want to wait a really long while and if he backs down then you know he's just an asshole who was in it for sex

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  • If you start planning things for the near future. Uses the term we or us.

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  • See how he treats you after sex, if he's uninterested in things you want to talk about then he isn't there for the long run

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  • If he only ever hangs out to get laid or sexual things, it's a red flag. If he's in for the long run he will love just being around you.

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  • I dont think most people know this right away. It is a decision that happeneds over time.

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  • Is he for sex or good time? Use common sense.. tally your past experience... whenever he had chance did he use it for talk and nice experience or to get laid?

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  • You can get to know that if he deeply cares when you hang out with male friends !

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  • If he's cares for u and always forgives you and love u no matter how u look he's for a long run..

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  • Mention things that you can't wait for that are more long term and see how he reacts (marriage, kids, etc)

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  • Can't figure it out, you must be in one year relationship to make a good guess... If we are talking for the really long run xD

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  • I just ask tbh it's the best way so you not sitting there guessing

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  • What's wrong with the obvious? You'll know if he's lying because men aren't good at it.

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  • he will do nice things and take you different places that you want to go

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  • Hunny I wish I knew

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  • Stop talkin to him see what he does

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  • If he starts talking about future

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  • Ask him what his intentions are

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  • Ask him

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  • If he hits you up at noon and not at midnight.

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  • Ask him

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  • Guys are dumb.
    Ask him a trick question.

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  • he wants sex

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  • Offer to start a joint bank account.

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  • i dont know how

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  • Ask him something that vaguely makes you think about a future together. And see how he reacts.

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  • See how much effort he spends and if he is willing to wait to have sex. If he is talking about future plans with you , introduce you to his friends/family.
    But some people are really confusing, I don't think there is a problem asking directly so you don't have false hope.

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