What is going on?

Soooo, I met a guy a few weeks ago, He was very upfront and honest regarding the fact he wasn’t interested in a relationship, I also wasn’t interested in a relationship so I suggested we be friends with benefits because there was an immediate attraction to each other and he is great company, a very honest person.

So last week he told me he’d be free after Sunday for him to come over. It’s got to today (Monday) and I made a joke about how the “sexiest man on the planet” was ignoring me, because he hadn’t read my message, it was just a joke, and recently I have had other problems regarding other parts of my life and I’ve made it clear on social media that I’ve not been feeling myself. He sent me this message after the whole ignoring me message.

“Well you have clearly been feeling like shit and I’m guessing it’s mostly my fault and I don’t want you to feel like shit you know that but I really don’t want any relationships rn and if our fuck buddie shit is making you feel like that I think we should stop”

I made it clear there are other things going on in my life to explain why I have “clearly” been feeling like shit (I didn’t say what though) I told him I’m good with our situation and I don’t want or expect anything from him relationship wise. I told him about a week ago that it made me feel like shit when we had sex and he would barely talk to me the next day, we have since had sex in that time and he messaged me the next day and all was fine. I then asked if he still wants to continue and he said

“I dunno I will let you know”

What the hell is going on? Why has this suddenly happened now? And what is with the last message he sent? Any advice?


Most Helpful Guy

  • He seems as confused as you are, it's possible that he think he's making you feeling like "shit" and he doesn't want to feel bad / regret about it after each sex. Basically, he's afraid that you'll develop feelings for him or vice versa, he isn't sure that friends with benefits is actually beneficial for the friendship

    • Anything I can do do you think? Or best just to leave it?

    • Show All
    • That’s true, I’m just so confused because I lay on him after we had sex, we were just chilling on the couch, and I lay with my head on his lap and he said “I would put my arms around you but I’m so cold” my house is literally always freezing and we always say that to each other but the fact he said he “would” like that’s really weird considering normally after sex it’s like the “benefits” don’t exist and we just act normal towards each other

    • It basically means he is afraid or don't want to have any physical affections after Sex. friends with benefits Sex is different that a relationship Sex, one is lust, one is love, one with commitment, one without, etc. I guess he doesn't like to do stuff like that that's why he said he "would" but currently he's just not ready for a full commitment, just Sex and company is all he's looking for.

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