Do you start to care more about someone if they begin to care less?

Hopefully this question makes sense haha.

Like say a girl or guy is really into you but you're sort of "playing it cool" but then for some reason they suddenly stop caring as much... do you then flip the switch and start caring more?

Asking cause I was super into this guy but he didn't seem to like me as much, but now that I've sort of taken a step back and stopped putting in as much effort, he seems to be putting in WAY more effort and time into it than ever before

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1231

Most Helpful Girl

  • No. Because to "care for" has true emotion within it. Someone either cares or they don't. This is not effected by game playing etc.

    However, if you don't give someone space they will never be allowed to miss you. Space IS needed in any healthy relationship. It shows you are confident in your self, you trust the other person, you are not needy and you have a life and interests of your own. And all these things are attractive things! If you are basically on top of a guy or texting him all the time or putting all your effort into him he will assume many of the opposite points, which are not attractive qualities.

    So what im saying is, if you ever truly cared for one another, his interest is only increased because by giving him space, and he sees your exhibited personality as more attractive. You can't blame a guy.

    If you never truly cared for one another, then yes, its possible that it is just a game. His interest will diminish rather quickly though I'd guess.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It increases your value. Sometimes people like maintaining a neutral/friendly relationship with everyone. When u care about him a lot, friendly relationship exist between you two, your active and he can remain passive. But once you start to play cool, the balance is broken and to maintain the friendly relationship he has to try and make you "happy", by caring more. It's not a ideal thing, humans shouldn't care about others with the purpose of gaining people's likes, but that's how we are. So this behavior, "playing it cool to gain attention" only applies to some people, but not all people.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1130
  • I think this is the case often with women? But not sure how much with guys? But it seems like maybe that's the case with this guy. Maybe you grew on him? Or, you only thought he wasn't into you, but he was. Personally, I either am or I'm not, no matter what they do. I've never experienced this myself.

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  • It is about being strong for the other person. If they care less because of a lack of interest that's one thing. But if they care less about life it's important you be there for them. If you were in the same position, I bet you would want someone there for you too. Some you have to put yourself in their shoes

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  • Yeah that's happening to me right now. I have problems trusting people and I make myself not to fall in love or have a crush on someone because I don't want to get hurt.
    So I went on a date with this guy, we were texting for some time (more details in my previous questions), then he suddenly lost interest. In the moment I knew everything is over I started to care so much more. We went on a date a year ago and I'm still not over him, even though we went on only one date.

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  • i'd answer this one slightly different...

    if the answer is no, your feelings are real and you're honest with yourself.

    if the answer is yes, your feelings aren't real and you're not being honest with yourself.

    or maybe Jannet Jackson... "you dont know what you've got til its gone"

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  • It’s pretty psychological when you are into someone and that someone starts to care less about you , you start to care more because you want to know why he stopped carting. For example a guy started talking to this girl and he really liked her , after a while he stopped sending her messages , she will be the one who will send the first message after a while, she will be the first to make a move this time

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  • Tbh that has happened to me I like a guy and I was told he didn't like me so I just told him I liked him and he told me he was trying not to show he liked me bc he didn't know if I liked him back but I have been in a situation were a guy liked me but I didn't like him I told him I didn't like him the same and he said it's ok and a few weeks later he didn't like me anymore

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  • this is actually an evolutionary trait to manipulate people into being available to [him]. he is probly keeping himself open to all possibilities. good luck.

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  • I don't but my husband does. I guess it's just how some people are.

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  • Psychologically speaking, it is true for both guys and girls. No bias despite the psychological differences between man and woman.

    In English, it is true 😁👍.

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  • Humans are like that, but If someone tries to play games like that with me then I really don't care about it and just move on, cause there are way more people out there

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  • No the opposite I think. If someone starts to care less then it's easier to forget about them. It's the people who care more that I miss so much when I'm not with them

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  • Yes if ur not deeply in love. That is from my observation.

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  • If a guy likes u he won't show it so quickly. We kinda want the girl to tell us how they feel cause we're scared they'll tell it to their friends and make a joke about it

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  • I don't think so but I don't know. I put in very little and my ex almost unintentionally tried to kill me in an attept to try to keep me.

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  • It varies per person but personally that makes me want to care less if I see the other person caring less,

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  • I think it's more like you don't want that person to give up on you or lose interest.. That's currently kinda the case with my boyfriend and I now.. He feels hurt because of xyz and he says cried enough and I notice him start acting different.. A little withdrawn.. I love him.. I start asking him what's wrong even more, I check up on him even more, I try to do things that'll make him happy more, I do what he wants me to, if I can or if it's reasonable.. I don't want to lose him and I care about his feelings and understand that I've hurt him, so I'm trying to draw to him and make him feel comfortable and loved.. I even avoid some arguments now..

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  • Nah
    At that point I stop wasting my energy and go for a different dude who can put forth effort haha

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  • No, me not caring about them is totally independent from how much she cares about me

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  • Yeah we mostly do

    Because everyone wants constant attention.

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  • Omg, just tell him you like him and stop dancing around the issue.

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  • I used to care more when people care less.. Now I don't care anymore...

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  • its a general rule us guys follow, he probs thought he had u hooked

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  • No. Not at all. Men don't work that way.

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  • I wouldn't do that bit I think that's true

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  • I would start to care less if they cared less

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  • yes, most of the times it is true

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  • I think this has happened to me recently

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  • No I do not, I lose interest completely.

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  • Yeah it sucks

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  • No but it hurts

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  • Yes i would

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  • I do

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  • It can happens, but can't say for everyone

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  • Yes, it's always a hot cold game

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  • Nah I don't care in the first place

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  • I think he got either way over confident or he said, hey wait a minute here.

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  • I’m going through the same thing right now so seeing the things y’all have shared helps. I just got on this app hoping to try to make sense of all this. It DOES help.

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  • Yes I’m going through it now my ex used to call me I used to blow him off be mean to him. Just really mean so he usually reaches out to me and hasn’t in 6 months so I reached out on Facebook telling him to call me gave him my number. He said he didn’t think his wife would like that I was crushed. Guess I’m so used to him wanting me I thought he would always be there. Now I’m going crazy lol but I’m going to get passed it I was just surprised.

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    • Did he get married with in 6 months of you all break up?

  • Well yea, one of the first rules in learning to play the minds games you girls love soucj is masting the emotional neglegence

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  • People tend to care more to some people whenever they think that they will lose him/her. So as for me, I guess it depends.

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  • Yes but it fades quickly. I have done this to multiple girls (not on purpose) and it works very very well.

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