Do you think I made the right choice by rejecting him?

This guy and I met on Bumble, and we hit it off pretty quickly, and have been texting for a month. First off, he just turned 28 and I’m 20. When we first started talking, he wouldn’t stop mentioning his ex, so I asked him if he was over her, and he said that he’s still in love with her, but is trying to move on. So I assumed she broke up with him. One time, he told me that he was just using me to get over his ex, so I stopped talking to him for a while. We started talking again after, he stopped mentioning his ex, and things were going good. However, one day, he’ll text me something like, “I really like you” and the next day, he’ll tell me that he slept over his ex’s house because she wasn’t feeling well. Then he’ll tell me that he’s falling for me more and more each day, he talks to me “about our future”, and he even asked how I’d feel introducing him to my mom. Then he’ll tell me that he’s too old for me and that I’ll find a guy some day. As I mentioned above, he said that he was still in love with his ex, so I asked him how/why did things end, and he didn’t tell my how/why, instead he said, “we broke up and she smashed all of the gifts I gave her over the years” so I asked if he broke up with her, and he said basically yes. However, if he was still in love with her, why did he break up with her? I showed some of my friends our messages (I’m not experienced with dating) and they saw multiple lies/red flags. Anyway, he’s traveling to where I am (for his job) but he also asked me out on a date. I agreed at first, then I told him I’d rather not go out with him (I gave him reasons) and he hasn’t texted me back. So, do you think I made the right decision?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes. He obviously isn't over her. You need to move on to someone willing to be open and honest. I always have an upfront open honest conversation one time after we hit it off.. some times before the first date and some times after 1 date or more dates. Get it out in the open and don't dwell. Gives a chance to "air the dirty laundry" ask and a swer questions and gives you and the other person to it move forward if it isn't something they are willing to handle or deal with. I have 2 kids and will have to deal with my ex for the next 5 years without negotiation and probably for the rest of my life because I want to be able to be a part of my kids lives as adults. Our divorce was horrible and not friendly by any means and we still don't like each other. We avoid each other. I have some guys won't to continue talking because we are not on friendly terms and they are with their ex but they also did not withstand or put their ex through years of verbal, mental, emotional and physical abuse.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I've never seen such an intelligent person in my life lol you did the right thing, people like that aren't worth it, mostly if they told you once that they are using you, like come on how could you even argue with yourself if you did the right thing or not

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What Girls & Guys Said

65
  • Yes he's not being truthful about his feelings for her, you, and what happened in that Relationship. Women don't usually destroy things from SO unless they were hurt badly by that person.

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  • i only read the first half of that and already i can tell you that you definitely made the right decision by saying no to going out with him

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  • I honestly think you did the smart decision. Having someone you with your emotions even if he had not known about it, it will always end up in a mess.

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  • Yes. He was wrong for you especially if your inexperienced.

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  • Yes he would drop you for his ex and or you never have all of him.

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  • 100% YES

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  • Yes. Wise choice

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  • Guuuuuurl, never mess with a guy like this.

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  • yes... sounds shady and insecure

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  • Yes. Very very much so

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  • Right choice. Move on.

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