Should I go on the date?

Okay so I met this guy on tinder. He’s in the marines and is 20 years old. We’ve had pretty good conversations so far but I’m seeing a few red flags. When I was talking to him about fitness he said he just does it pass his fitness tests. I said I do it to stay fit and hopefully compete one day. He said, “fuck that” in response to me competing. It is something that is very important to me and he just kinda shit talked it and changed subjects. I’m also super sick so I can’t meet up right now. He just said “well shit” when I said I can’t go till I feel better. I get that he leaves soon to go back to training then will be back in June but it felt kinda aggressive that he would say it like that. I don't know if I feel comfortable going on a date with this guy anymore since he doesn’t sound supportive, and doesn’t live by me year round. It would end up being kinda long distance even if I someday moved closer to him since he most likely will get deployed eventually. His job is very important to him so I wouldn’t want him to quit for me nor do I really want to be with someone who won’t always be there. I don't know if I should go on this date or not but yeah that’s the story lol

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Most Helpful Guy

  • He isn't very respectful. Like I lift weights but I'm not the biggest fan of bikini competes (i assume that's what you mean) but I'd never say something like that. I'd encourage the girl even if I don't care about the event I just care they're ambitious about something and be supportive.

    He also didn't seem all that concerned that you were sick. Like he didn't wish you to feel better or ask if he could help (i know people can't really do anything to actually help but it just feels good knowing someone cares when they ask that and he didn't even bother).

    I think you can do better. I come from a marine family with my dad being a marine so the attitude can't just be excused by the military. I have several marine friends who act respectful and classy with women.

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    • Thanks for the response! Yeah he seems more eager to go on the date with me than hope I get better. He did say “let me know if I can get you anything” but like I feel like you do that when you’re in an actual relationship. I haven’t even met him yet

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    • Agreed. I just don’t know how to get that idea across without point blank saying it

    • Maybe just say you are looking for a longterm relationship (are you?) and talk about how his military life would just make it hard for you both and he might just be happier with a different kind of woman.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Its just a date, wouldn't hurt to go that way you would know for sure. But at the same time if fitness is something that is a big deal to you are you going to be ok with him not caring about it. Secondly, unless your willing to do the long distance thing it could also be a waste of time.. and from personal experience tinder to me seems all about rhe hook ups

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • It looks to me like this guy only cares about a hookup or one night stand with you dear Hanbaux.
    Sorry for being late to share an opinion.
    I am not much of a person who likes fitness but it does not give me the right to be saying rude things like that. His vocabulary shows indeed a lot about his personality. Would you like to be with someone who only cares about himself, bad words, selfish?
    I don't want to judge and I certainly don't have the right to judge.
    From what you have described, he seems like a rude disrespectful child instead of a man in the marines! He certainly shows ZERO respect to you and your interests.
    On the other hand, there is no harm in just going for a coffee and real conversation face to face.
    I may be wrong about him, but tinder has given me ZERO potential long term relationship.

    If I was you, honestly, I wouldn't go and meet that person just from the vocabulary he is using. On the other hand, you seem to be someone who is looking for a mature guy interested in a long term relationship. You could simply mention that in your profile for a serious potential match.

    Sorry if I sounded offensive, not my intention at all, was just sharing an honest opinion based on the description you have laid under the question dear Hanbaux.

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  • Going on a date is no commitment other than time. If a date implies sex then you have to make it clear this date isn't one. Seeing him will not hurt you. Being ex Army I can tell this is just how some young bucks talk when they are on the juice. In a hurry and everything takes a back seat to what you want. If his goal is to get laid before he leaves, he probably never even heard the words. These guys make bad dates unless the woman can handle hyper guys and get them to slow down. Just guessing.

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  • If you will date I garantee you that your relationship will not exceed for more than a month.(Not because of the job and distance issue). Because his attitude towards you is kinda aggressive and the way he talks to you is not kinda cool.

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    • Can you follow my account I want to talk to you on this topic more.

  • Well it's on how you view it but generally i would stray from dating him due to the fact that based off of what you told me his character isn't the greatest

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  • If it's tinder, it's hooking up, trust me for this the burning lit logo of tinder is just the crave for sex people have these days,,,,
    I dn believe into tinder dates unless they sound really good else they are just getting onto dicks and butts

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  • I don't know for sure but he seems like a bad kinda guy so if you go on the date you should know he's probably not in it for anything serious and also you met him on tinder which is not exactly a red flag but definitely a caution flag

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  • Well for one a marine cannot be an individual. When they train they do it to succeed. They are physically drained by teaining. But yes if a guy likes you he n

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    • he needs to support you. If he really is interested in you he should encourage you.
      If he gets deployed he could never make it back. Or be gone for years. Ldrs are rough.

  • Looks like he's impatient and self centered. Tbh I think he just want to fuck you and that's why he wants to see you soon and doesn't care much about you.

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  • As a prior Marine

    First its Fucking Tinder. People dont look for meaningful long term relationships on Fucking Tinder. Thats why it's called Fucking Tinder..

    Second. Marines are trained to be aggressive. To be blunt and forward. We live for the moment not in it. Our reality is today... the NOW. Tomorrow is a death wish.

    Third... you are on Fucking Tinder. His first intention is to fuck you. If some sparks fly then great. He has no control over where or when he is around or available. He is the 911 for The President of the United States. He is trained to be anywhere in the world in 48 hours ready to do whatever is required. If the Marines wanted him to get married, they would issue him a wife. While I was serving, divorce rates were 96% for the Marines. So long term relationships are not common in the Marines. You want a few good man... you better be a fucking great woman.

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  • Dating a guy from tinder? Gee, you must be desperate.

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  • Fuck that guy

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    • As in byeee bitch not literally fuck right

    • Seriously, he sounds no good. If you wanna stay fit and compete one day that's good, but if he doesn't support you or if he talks down to you because of it, he isn't worth your time. Not every guy in the marines is gonna be decent.

  • No, don't go

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  • Short and simple, no.

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  • If you don't feel comfortable don't go

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  • go on the date, he is going to expect sex though

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  • I dont think

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  • Its just a date, dont overthink it. You may not even like him when you meet him just take it a step at a time.

    If you are feeling like this already maybe dont go? plenty of fish in the sea :)

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