How to confess the real truth to my parents?

So my boyfriend and I have been friends for 5 years and finally became a thing in June of 2017... now we’re officially going strong for 10 months. But there’s a 2 year gap that I haven’t told my parents which is he was in prison for a violent crime with someone. Sad to say he was in the same prison with my dad but luckily my dad doesn’t know yet... My boyfriend wants to confess but I’m not sure if I’m ready for my family to forget all that I’ve shown them about my boyfriend and just sees him as a criminal.. what should l say/do

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Most Helpful Guy

  • The longer your boyfriend holds out on telling the truth, the more painful it'll be for him to hold in that information. If anything, revealing this truth can possibly give your boyfriend and your father a bonding moment together as they can relate to the crimes they committed! If you know for a fact that your boyfriend wouldn't attempt a crime like that again, just be open and honest with your parents. A mature person with a plan of action is always comforting for the parents when they believe in their child's decisions.

    One way or another, the truth will have to come out. Why not get it over with to put some ease on your boyfriend's mind? If your parents aren't accepting him, just explain why your mother is still with your father, despite the crime he committed. You love your boyfriend very much and would do anything for him, no matter his past! I hope this situation will get resolved for the both of you so you can be happy in your relationship together, knowing your parents will accept him as part of the family!

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    • Thanks hopefully they won’t judge him even more than they are

    • I'm hoping the same! If he comes clean early on, it'll save the trouble of your parents thinking he can be filled with dark secrets and can't be trusted. Plus, I don't think your boyfriend would want to hold in that kind of secret for too long either!

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Well he changed didn't he, your dad shouldn't be too much against it if he was in prison too, now your mom would be harder but the only way to get their trust is to earn it, he will probably have to be extra nice and help your parents, like just throwing out the trash for them would make him look better

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  • I would hold out longer, however there is a lot of missing informantion here. For example :
    What exactly was this violent crime? Was your boyfriend the person being violent or there for support of the other person?
    Why was your father in prison?
    There are a lot of thigs to look at before bringing this to your parrents.

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    • He and his friend robbed a girl and his friend convinced him to go on a high speed chase. My father was set up by an underage girl who claimed she was 18 when she was roughly around 15-16

  • It sound like your father is the major hurdle. When he approves your mom will likely follow. Unless the was demestic violence. Father daughter relationships are complex.

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  • Stop finding guys to date that are basically your father

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    • First off I’ve known him way before my dad was sentenced

    • Was there a second point? I don't know you but the psychology of replacing daddy is pretty widely accepted

  • Well, your dad was there too. Maybe ask your dad about "the criminal part" how he feels about it, without saying that you date a former inmate.

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  • Maybe that's the kind of thing that you don't mention until someone asks. Did your boyfriend actually commit the crime or was he an accessory

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    • Both mostly committed tho but he's the first to be serious with so I don't know how my family will judge him he reallllly wants them to know the truth

    • Hmm... Well if he is a changed man, and he has proved it through his actions, then I guess honesty is the best policy. Just be careful about the timing

  • If your dad's a thug too I'm sure your all go great together

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    • No my dad is a good guy who was betrayed he wants the best for me but I don't know what they’ll do to him

  • Truth is always the shortest path.. Everyone for sure had done bad things before !

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  • Just speak free

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  • Don't confess the real truth

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