We're in the honeymoon stage, but I'm still nervous. Anyone else feel this way?

We've had sex, we really like each other, but I'm still nervous. I've been cheated on more than once, and I'm afraid to fully trust someone new. Anyone have any advice?

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717

Most Helpful Guy

  • Am living currently a long distance relationship myself honestly dear Queen Of Cups. I don't know where it is going. Sometimes it feels she really loves me and sometimes she feels distant like the miles that separate us. We are maybe parting slowly.
    I have been cheated on before as well, it is a hard feeling to take and it will not get easier.
    In my own opinion, we should just keep hope and faith, keep on trying till we meet the one for us.
    That emptiness we have inside, those doubts we have to live with are normal due to the experiences we have had before in our lives no matter how old we are.
    Having sex could make you want each other, but it will not be the only thing to take into consideration, therefor, sex is the last thing I think about when meeting someone new. I just let it happen after we have established a really strong emotional and love relationship.
    You just have to trust the person you are in a relationship with and put aside the doubts. It is a risk to take, you may have your heart broken again and again. Just think positively and the way it could be in case that person was faithful enough to you dear Queen Of Cups.
    I can only wish you good luck and hope things will go the way you want them to!

    Cheers!!!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • go slow... and talk talk talk... sex w/o communication ends in about 4 months... boom, it is over and it was just sex..

    go slow... gives both of you time to get to know each other AND for any unexpected surprises to pop up when you are comfie with each other...

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What Girls & Guys Said

616
  • Have a conversation with them about your feelings and nervousness. Also make sure that they know you're worried about cheating, and that might help at least a little. If they're compassionate enough, they won't feel the urge to cheat as much.

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  • There are never any guarantees, you know that. You utilise your common sense to give you the best chance of a successful relationship. You also put in the effort and you make sure that the effort is reciprocated. Having confidence is very important. The confidence to know the level of treatment that you deserve and the confidence to know that you can deal with the worst, should it happen. The latter helps you with letting go of fear.

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  • My suggestion would be to try your best to not make your new boyfriend carry the weight of what other guys did to you in the past. In other words, don't let your legitimate hurt over what other guys did make you distrust your new guy, because that will only get in the way of your new relationship.

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  • I also have trust issues but if you really wanna be with this guy you have to establish some form of trust. I know it sucks to get let down but think about the chances of succeeding :) I’m sure he’s not stupid enough to lose you.

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  • Sometimes, through no fault of either person, a person just struggles to trust the other - even if the first person reassures them and legitimately has done nothing to concern the other.

    Just make sure that he knows any distrust you have is not as a result of him, but of your past relationships instilling it in you (no matter how hard you've tried to change).

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    • Marrying someone is just about the stupidest thing you could possibly do. You gain absolutely no advantages and if one of you decides he`s not happy anymore then someone that worked harder will get completely screwed over and get half of what he/she had previously. That`s a 50% chance for divorce just right off the bat (2 people). I know it`s hard to comprehend that marrying someone is completely useless and could only end up harming you but it`s true. Traditions aren`t always good. Also the fact that you have to split everything means even more arguing which will only get the hatred more intense and grow one`s sense of self which is horrible for a relationship. This is why people get back together after a divorce. They solved the conflict. They could have done so much quicker if it hadn`t been for all the stress and arguing in court and outside court and with less financial cost.

  • Yes but nothing short enough to be on here. Unjustly I will say Que Sera Sera... I think you are too focused on what he does and not enough on what you do.

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  • I am in a fairly new relationship myself after being married for 21 years to a man that turned out to be cruel and abusive as soon as I could no longer be his sugar mamma and 100% support system due to my own health issues. I was devastated by how my marriage ended up, and had decided to be alone for life and just raise my grandson and enjoy my cats lol but then I reconnected with a friend from high school and things progressed naturally. I never intended or wanted love but I found it. While I'm still terrified of being hurt again, so I'm still a little guarded, I'm glad I let love in.
    Give it a chance you might be surprised.

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  • Think of it this way. The honeymoon stage will end, for sure. So what does worrying about it do besides take Way from the happiness about it.

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  • Same here.. I’ve met someone.. had heavy petting... no sex.. but don’t trust her that way. She sounds and acts genuine... but is drop dead gorgeous (a model) and the anxiety is driving me crazy

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  • There’s no way to not be nervous unless you are fully certain of everyone’s motives but remember if you don’t take risks life isn’t fun I doubt you’ll be cheated on again although I probably will

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    • Don't say that hon. Things will work out for both of us.

    • They will for you but not for me life has never worked in my favor and never will I just have to get over the fact of being alone forever 😒

  • I'd say: talk it through. tell him how you feel. And why. Also make clear it's not about him. Just go slow... Trust needs to be builded brick by brick... Especially when it has been broken...

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  • Been there many times. If you don't fully trust and just keep things how they are will it hurt any less if he cheats on you?

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  • I could help you install surveillance gear so you could watch him like you're the nsa

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    • Thanks... not the worst idea in the world, but I'll be ok...

    • Tracking device on his car, spyware and hidden ip cameras... I used to do that kinda thing for a living actually

  • I don't trust. I'm not sure what else to add. Sorry I'm not more help...

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  • Honeymoon is where there should be no stress at all

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  • U b old enough to know better stop playing the victim

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  • You’re already dating again?

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  • a bit of wine will cool things up

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  • You won't feel better. Girls nowadays fell once the honeymoon phase ends, that's it. They expect the honeymoon phase to never end. So when your done with him, kick him to the curb and start again.

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  • Keep options.

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  • Just take your time. You can't trust someone at first sight, you need more time. It's ok. Just don't create bad scenarios in your head

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