Is he serious or is he joking?

Alright... so my boyfriend and I have known each other for 8 years, dating 3 years and living together in our apartment for 2 years.

He will occasionally joke around about proposing. Like, if we go on vacation, he'll pretend to with like a room key or something like that and I just laugh at him. This has been going on ever since we started dating. We never really had a serious conversation about it. I don't know if I'm supposed to bring it up, or if he's trying to? Maybe he's trying to test the waters and I'm just blowing it every time? I don't know. But, it's getting frustrating after being with him for 3 years and still not knowing what he's thinking for our future. I need everyone's thoughts.

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  • Would you propose to him at this point of your relationship?

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    • One of my friends actually asked me the same thing recently, and I said no. Only because he likes being "the man" if that makes sense. I don't think he would accept that from me haha. He once told me he gave me his girlfriend a ring, but there was no proposal. They never lived together though. I brought this up... and he's like well, we have an apartment together so he's saying as if we're farther in our relationship than he was with this other girl. I'm having a hard time understanding that I guess.

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    • I know that feeling. I wish you good luck with that!

    • Thank you! I wish you luck with everything also.

  • It sounds like he's gauging your reaction. I'm sure he is just as unsure as you are. I suggest that you sit down and talk to him about it. Don't just wait for him to make the first move.

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    • I just don't know when the right time is to talk to him about it and what to say without sounding crazy or bombarding him with it. I work day shift and he works night shift, plus coaches 2 football teams on the side. He's super distracted because of this and I want to be sure he's at a good mind set to bring it up, which is like never haha.

    • I've been trying to figure this out for MONTHS now. He recently asked me what kind of rings I liked when we were at a jewelry store getting my necklace cleaned. The salesman at the jewelry store joked with him about it and was like "okay... so you bought her the necklace 3 years ago, what's next?" Then asked my boyfriend if he wanted me to try rings on. He kind of walked away after that. He's very hard to read.

    • He is most likely nervous. Men tend to develop a fear of rejection since we are supposed to be the one who asks first. That can be nerve racking. It seems to me he definitely wants to ask but is having trouble finding the right timing just as you are.

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