Are here any emotionally unavailable people? Or maybe you had an experience being in a relationship with one?
What Girls & Guys Said11
I have been told by exes that I am emotionally unavailable, which I didn't really know about at the time. Its not something that I have chosen to be, and I would really like to change it (working on that atm) For me, I think its a defense mechanism in a way, and something I have done all my life. By being emotionally closed off or hard to get into, it feels like I am "protecting" myself - which I KNOW is counterintuitive, because it usually becomes a problem. I think it stems from stuff in my childhood... My parents weren´t really there for me growing up, which I think has affected me a lot. Their reasons were "just" (an ill sibling), but still, I was kind of left to my myself, and I remember thinking that I wasn't really that important to them. I guess I learned that the less I expected or hoped from them, the less hurt I would be. That way of thinking, from such a young age (5 yr) can to some extent explain things now. If I dont let anyone in, then I cannot be hurt by them... in a way. Those experiences made me grow up quite fast, and has made me very independent and accustomed to dealing with stuff by myself. I dont really know how to let someone, and it is also very scary for me. If someone is very "invasive" especially early on, that makes me back off right away. I have a tendency to experience others as needy, which is probably not true, but its how I tend to feel when they try fo force themselves on me. I prefer someone who is mature enough to just tell me if my ways of being are hurtful to them, rather than going off on me for being closed off. It really isn't something I do on purpose, so trying to get that is crucial. I have become better at letting others know about my emotional unavailability as I have become aware of it, but it is still hard
I don't know fam, but waiting for the others to answer!
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