Help settle a debate?

Please help settle a debate a few of us girls are having at work. A couple ladies believe that the guy should be the one to pursue the girl, let her know he’s interested and make all the moves. Other ladies think it’s ok for the girl to make the first move or let the guy know she interested. What are your thoughts? Do you like to be the one to make the first move or do you prefer the girl to?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's okay for the girl to make the first move too.

    The culture of awaiting the guy's move is established and reinforced by the majority of Disney movies. In some degree, I certainly do not blame your co workers to think that way.

    Whether the girl makes the first move or not, it has to relay on the guy obviously. The problem of it is that some guys have big ego. The act of it can make them become cocky and manipulative for being aware of others' interest, but isn't it the same with some ladies?

    Moreover, we are currently in a hook up culture. She never knows what would happen. Today he is single. Boom. Tomorrow he will be dating someone.

    I believe she is not willing to take that risk.

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    • That’s a very good point

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    • @rain_maker112- if your screen name is an indication of your abilities- feel free to mosey on in my direction- s. Nevada>>

Most Helpful Girl

  • I prefer a guy to make like, the very very first move. Like the first message or the first conversation BUT from there it should be balanced and equal. Just for the sake of making things easier for both people :)

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What Girls & Guys Said

212
  • Nowadays men can be VERY SHY, there's actually a YouTube video about this specifically that goes into this. It's called "Why 99% of guys don't approach women" basically women who make the first move if you're interested because in all likelihood the guy will be too concerned about what may happen if he approaches you.

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    • I’ll have to look this up

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    • @ConnorH- you mean a shy guy is worried he will be rejected?

    • It's very possible

  • A man's ego will say he should make the first move... but personally, I say, if you want it, go for it!

    I have had 2 girls in ten years ask me out (I am the one who usually asks) But those two girls... oh buddy, such a turn on. Shows they knew what they wanted, can take initiative, and are strong willed. Nothing wrong with someone other than the male make the first move. If he is a man, he will follow up and treat you like a queen if things go well and jive.

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    • This lady said these two coworkers were wrong for texting the guy and the other send a friend request on social media.

    • I don't think they were wrong. Who's to say though? I think it's all personal preference. A relationship is a two-way street. Both should put forth effort.

  • I believe it’s okay to make the first move, but I would really like a guy to be able to get what he wants just like me. My point is that I don’t care who will make the first move, as long as the guy has a strong character

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  • I for one don't pursue anyone I'm pretty lazy in love and I know plenty of guys just like me so women might wanna step it up because none of us plan to

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    • This is kinda what one of the ladies had argued too. I was just curious to see what others thought.

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    • @Myrduces- it’s too bad guys your age were raised to be wimps. There is an entire generation of male wussies who have been best down to the nub - feminism gone mad is creating a generation where men have been so demonized just for being male- the result is guys like you who gave up. I feel sorry for you and guys your age who just don’t want to pursue your natural desire to procreate- something that has existed for millennia- I hate to think about the long term effect on our species being able to reproduce and ensure the survival of the species,

    • This species has been doomed for a long time a handful of lazy guys will have nothing to do with it if anything it's going to be the opposite problem when overpopulation causes the species to run completely out of control and we waste all of our natural resources and trap ourselves on an inescapable doomed planet where governments will either crumble or turn to constant wars just to maintain an ultimately pointless amount of power

  • Nah

    girls should pursue the guy.

    Since girls are picky af

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    • The co worker went off saying these two girls were wrong for sending a friend request and the other texting the guy 😂

    • She sounds like a princess

      If you like something, go after it.

  • Their is not a universal answer to this question this depend upon on individual perception if my personal opinion if a girl approach me it's really sexy and i will really like that but on the other hand I am not going to wait that she should approach me I will do that if I get any chance

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  • I think expecting the guy to make all the courting moves make girls look entitled. They probably want to be on a petal stool overall well as well.

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  • In my experience sometimes it's nice for a girl to make the first move. Constantly having to hold the burden of the conversation and be the more active partner in the relationship can be tiring

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  • It’s important for the girl to show signs of interest through body language; otherwise, the guy will be “creepy”

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  • Me and my guy did it at the same time. We choose a time to talk and said whether we like each other at the same time.

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  • In my opinion there has been a tradition of the guy being the one to initiate something with a woman. That tradition, is something that may be passed along from one generation to the next. But, like many thing, it is not a value that is always passed on. Values and traditions are always changing and it is more dependent on the people responsible for passing these things on- some do and some do not. Some individuals just prefer that the guy be in that role, some do not. I think the preference may also fall along gender lines, as well as the traditional values of conservative vs non-conservative beliefs.

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  • It totally depends on the situation. There is no right answer.

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  • It's acceptable for women to make the move

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  • The one who I love

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