Whats with the hot and cold?

So... Im 29 ... Iv been called a "well put together woman." I'm physically attractive, street smart, educated. I have passions. I whip a fucking kung fu bo staff for fun... I can DJ, I pole dance, I write a book called #Chickensoupforthecynicalsoul ( a book of life epiphanies... there's more to it but i digress), I do yoga and Acro yoga (partner acrobatic yoga), I can sing well, I go the gym and I'm in great shape, I don't look my age, and I'm spiritual, I'm certified in Reiki and Im fun, I know how to have a good time. I can dress up and be your arm candy at a classy shin dig with all the upper crusty shmucks and fit right in, or go and drop LSD with you in a pink bear onesie at a music festival AND if our tent gets rained out on the first day I will Rig you up a PROPER Philly trash bag tent... Im a go getter and I live my life to the fullest... I don't feel like a bad catch at all.

The area of my life that I struggle with the most is romantic relationships and lately men do this thing with me. We'll have a connection and for whatever reason (usually admitted fear on their part possibly among other things i dunno) they will push me away. BUT, they don't push me away to lose me... they wanna have me and have my shit on lock... but from a distance... Mind you Iv both chased before in this situation which never works so lately I just give space and kind of let the pace be dictated but same result.. it doesn't really matter what I do.. what is with this? I'm so over it.
I dust my sneaker off and keep it moving but it doesn't mean I am not bothered by the fact.. It makes me wonder what in me attracts this.

My best friends opinion is that it is the age and culture we live in, that she finds herself pushing men away all the time, and that it isn't me. I kind of agree about this but I just don't understand why its like this.

I'm just down for more opinions.. plzzzzzzzzz
Updates:

Honestly, I just want a kindred spirit at this point in my life, mutual inspiration, and someone that is comfortable and won't push me away... cus fuck that...

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think they’re threatened or intimidated by you. Sounds like you’re quite the girl and you’re up for anything. Maybe they feel they can’t compete with that and it’s not that they don’t like you they just don’t know how to be in that type of a relationship. So many people only know one way to be and if life doesn’t fit into societies cookie cutter pattern then they don’t know what to do and tear it down as something must be wrong with it. It does suck and I hope you find your kindred spirit soon 😘

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • a fellow Philly inhabitant? Either way maybe they're afraid there might be something better but want you around cause what if there isn't. There's too many decisions for people to make and it ends up 'paralyzing' a lot of men and women.

    A creative woman with an independent drive that values her health and fitness, yet can still get wild.

    You sound catch af to me. 🤷🏻‍♂️

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    • I think that isssssss extremely valid... in fact thats probably part of it to, to be honest, especially because the most recent person I HAD a connection with was also much younger. I think a younger man is a lot more likely to do this.
      And yeah, Im like that weird age that remembers when it wasn't hook up culture but am now existing in hook up culture and the age of emotional in-availability.
      And thank you lol its not gotten me far in relationships yet.

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    • Yesss. And that totally makes sense. Men and women should be able to and strive to find happiness on their own. Stay busy, Learn, practice constantly etc.. idle hands, you know.. but as a team. What two people like that offer each other and the things they can help each other accomplish. That's what it's all about. in my opinion. You seem like a dope person. Are you a Philly resident by chance? Sorry this thing won't let me ask you privately

    • Omg hahahah. I'll shoot ya an email. And I'll check out your writing.

  • There's just too many people in the world. You can't possibly date every available guy, and those you can, there's no guarantee it will work. It is what it is, you just haven't found the right guy yet, assuming that's even possible.

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  • Wow you sound perfectly god level fun to be around or with haha but the pushing away is it fear you feel or just "lose intrest" and for the guys who try to lock you down im guessing they are just shit little boys who dont want anyone playing with "their stuff" maybe

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    • Yo, I hear you on the "don't want anyone playing with their stuff." I don't feel in my gut that its a lost interest issue at all... They usually all come around or try to get back... thats why im not sure what it is... maybe it is all fear I have no clue.. I do know thats an issue though.

      ... Fuck this shit...

    • Fuck that shit indeed but you sound amazing chick and i see why they try running back to you. The fear unfortunately needs to be conquered beautiful do not let that buzz killing wanker get the better of you its good against arses but itll ruin everything else aswell

  • They may feel a bit intimidated by you and feel they're not good enough

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    • I def get that.. Like a number of men have told me that.. but it still sucks for me, shiiiiit

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    • I feel that lol, told my roommate about this response. He said, "got you over here lookin like a Marlin!"

    • 😂😂😂 best looking fish out there 😋

  • What are you truly looking for we usually attract what we manifest into the universe

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    • You might get intimidating to some guys they get scared. You will find the right guy I'm sure of it just put those thoughts out there and watch what happens. Have a great day

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    • yeah they are... especially when your a dorky wild child

    • Dorky is awesome

  • Well my mind is blown

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  • Need pics. Thirsty.

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  • you're ok

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  • Get a dating coach.

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  • You will be alright

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  • games

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