Our parents don't approve of our relationship. Any advice?

I am currently in an LDR with my girl and we both have parents that don't approve the opposite sides, My parents don't support LDR and my dad hates people from philipines. I don't know WHY? Her parents also hate my race. But we just don't wanna leave. We have each other. This is just frustrating. A lot of help is needed. Thank you in advance

Our parents don't approve of our relationship. Any advice?
Updates:
I really wish man

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I married a man I did not love to please my family. It ended in divorce. It was very wrong of me to do that to him, and even worse of me to do that to myself, and wrong of my family to want me too. I also left a man I loved deeply to please my family. That was heartwrenching. I do not know you, her or your families. But I do know we love who we love. At the best of times its lifes greatest gift. At the worst of times lifes greatest tragedy when it ends. Love is something to be valued, protected, cherished, and absolutley greatfull for. The greatest advice I can give is this. You can only do what YOU can LIVE with. And no one else should make your lifes decisions, because THEY will not have to LIVE with it. We only get one life, there are no do overs, no take backs, and no sequels. So you have to make your own decision, and make sure its one YOU can live with. I wish you both the best in love, and life.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well I do not know the story of it.
    But if your parent do not want, you can go against your parent, you will have one broken relationship just to be with her.

    Or you can leave her and follow ur parent, you will be left with a broken heart.

    In both way you are doomed unless ur parent agrees or you break up naturally.

    But anyway you have already done the wrobg choice, so the consequences are going to be like that.

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    • What is the wrong thing i have done?

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    • Well think well... no one knows the future.

    • My parents are already abusive. I just don't wanna stay here forever

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • It might be a good thing if her parents don't approve of the relationship because it means she is wealthy enough that she isn't marrying you or dating you for money. If the family was fully supportive of the relationship - it might mean that she is desperate and has no other options or just wants a green card so she can be with you. Think of that! Anyway - if you want to be with her - show your parents that this woman is educated and hard working and supportive and honest and loyal. A woman with good character is better than a person the same race as you who is lazy and will not contribute to your life.

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    • I never thought of it in this way. It maybe right. Yes, her family is wealthy. And she is the most well educated, hardworking, honest, supportive and loyal girl i have ever seen

  • You’re literally too old for your parents to have any impact on your relationship. Be an adult and tell them to fuck off.

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  • Frankly, it is a very simple equation my friend, I have been through this kind of relationship but her parents did not approve at all while my parents had no problems, my mother loved her as if she was her own daughter.
    The story is almost 10 years old, she just listened to her parents and got rid of me.
    Anyways, my advice for you my friend, is to have a serious talk with your SO, lover, and future life partner as for it will be your own life together, your own home, your own family, and most importantly your own happiness.
    Being in a relationship with someone just because of what other people say is not the right thing to do as for am seeing it happening here in Lebanon with my own eyes and my own friends.
    I did not choose to be single but this is how it works here and you are lucky to have someone like her with you. If you both see a long future together, tell your parents this is how it is going to be whether they like it or not. No hard feelings, they will always be your parents, they are welcome to be grand parents if they desire to.
    You and your SO, your lives, your decisions, don't let anyone influence on your happiness.
    Good luck my friend, and hope things will go just the way you and your SO want.

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    • Thank you my friend. I asked her about it and she assured that she will make her parents like me or else she is ready to go out with me leaving their parents. But i think my parents won't approve. But i need to find a job for that. Because i have lost 4 jobs in a row, i am justafraid that i could get one. That is the only thing that is bothering me right now

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    • Yes man i love her so so much. I can never imagine a life without her and my parents are abaolute shit. So i need to move places.

    • Again, good luck my friend with the job search.
      Hopefully you will find something that suits both of you and let both parents take their time to accept the real situation ;-)

  • You will have to choose I suppose. Especially if no amount of discussion would change your parents opinion, and her parents as well.
    What i have to tell you is that my parents marriage hasn't been approved by either sides as well. But they chose to be together anyway and although I think it's selfish of them to not have considered their parents opinions, I can also see that they're really happy together.

    So my advice to you is this : if you both are completely sure that your relationship is worth going against your parents Will, if you're both ready to stay together forever and not regret having made this decision, then go for it. But you both need some serious thinking before making your final decision.

    Lastly, your parents may or may not approve of you even after you meet, establish a family together, get married, live happily. But even if they don't approve of you both don't stop showing them how happy you are together, and don't cut them off. Show them that you always respect and love them but you're adult enough to take decisions on your own.

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    • Thank you for your opinion. My family is mostly abusive of me and are selfish. So i don't wanna stay with them. If i need to choose, it is her.

    • Best of luck. I'll still hope you will find a solution that would make everyone happy.

    • I wanna be happy and i won't make everyone happy. But i want to make myself happy on the process.

  • U dont need ur parents approval to date... but to marry yes

    U dont even need ur parents to recognize ur relationship

    Their priority is to be ur guardian
    So wtv that may harm u... they may say NO

    But its ur heart, body and mind.. u decide if u can do it or not...

    If u dont show ur parents ur cellphone... they may not even notice ur dating

    Just ask ur parents approval if ur gonna get married and to do so u gotta work hard with them... showing more action rather than talk

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    • I am exacly going to do that. We are gonna build our relationship and when weare ready for marriage, i will tell them

  • I think you should meet her first if you haven't already. I think your parents would only ever think about your wellbeing. Before takiny any decision, meet her, get to know how she is in person. If you still feel love for her in that same intensity, then convince your parents to at least meet her. However, i can't talk on your behalf, but had i been in your place, id have gone with what my parents want for me.

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  • You're an adult and can make your own decisions. Your parents aren't living your lives. They will be gone one day. Don't let Racism on either part choose for the two of you!!! If you both love each other and truly want to be with each other then stay the course. Best of luck with your situation.

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  • It's either you go against your parents will and be together or break up and not waste time and emotions on this you gotta do some real thinking on that and see if you both are ready to leave your families and ready to live forever together happily of course or no.. take your time make the right decision so you won't regret it
    Best of luck

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    • I don't wanna stay with my parents forever. I wanna move out. So if i does, it would be easier if i have her as my side because i love her company

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    • Yeah that's a good way of thinking Good luck

    • Than you so much

  • Well if you guys really are serious than just understand your reality. My wife was from Punjab and oh boy when we first got together it was hell for her from her family. But eventually they accepted it and now we are all really good. If you love someone just love them, and love the people who hate you for it because really they just aren't accepting reality. Big ups to you bro

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  • Oh HELL NO you don't let your parents chose who u want to be with and who u can't be with that is fucking wrong... you love the person you stay with the person... it not your parent life it your life... you stay with your the person you love and if ur parents don't like it... they can get over it...

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    • Yes. That is exactly what I meant alsi but they are overproctective.

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    • Thank you for your advice

  • Reason with them on how they are showing stupidity. Tell them that you truly love her and respect her. She is the one who caught your eye and you take responsibility for that. Tell them that she is the one who truly loves you for who you are and persuade them on how she is different from other women.

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  • If you really love her, you need to work hard to get her.
    Philippines is a Patriarchal country, it will be hard for her not to follow parent's command. You need to impress and get the good side of her parent. God Bless
    Note: Philippine is also religious you could use this info as an advantage on how you approach them.

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  • So your parents don't know how to mind their own business and on top of that they're also racist pieces of shit.

    Why exactly would you care what these idiots think? Screw them.

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  • Hey Bro, I made a mistake to loose my girlfriend by the same cause. And I'm feeling so bad and frustrating. Please you don't do that. Just go with her and enjoy your life and try to understand your parents after that if they will not agree with you just marry with her and say sorry. If the parents love you then they have to accept you. If not then just leave it for some time. After some time they definitely accept you both.

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  • From experience me and my ex didn’t end up together because his family hates me... it’s just gonna tear you guys apart but if you both can agree that their opinion doesn’t matter , it’ll work... in my situation he cared more about his parents thoughts then being with me

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  • You know on the future you are not going to marry your family. So don't listen everyone and be with her whatever happent. Even if the whole humanity doesn't want to be with your love, you must fight them all.

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  • Never compare and choose between your family and lover. It's really hard to choose. But remember, Your family is your blood, cell & flesh, where as your lover isn't. U will get another girl but u can't have another mom dad.

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  • Its seems both your parents disaprove for cruel reasons.

    This shouldn't be an issue if you're genuinely in love.

    I think you should ignore them and go ahead getting married & having beautiful children without their blessings.

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  • Tough situation.. then try to talk it more with your partner about the final decision that both of you will make

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  • If you don't meet regularly to have sex, then you do not have an LDR, you have a pen pal.

    Get over it.

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    • LDR is not about sex. It is about the love for each other. And all relationships don't start with asking others for sex. If you have a relationship with sex in mind, you won't get a relationship at all.

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    • And I am speaking as a guy who has had many LDRs.

      We would actually get together regularly, which includes sex.

    • I may know nothing but i don't look at her as a sex toy. Yes we may have sex. But bonding is more important

  • Who's living your life you or the parents? Do what you want

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  • Hey if you guys really love each other you don't have to care what your family thinks. If you guys can manage the Ldr then do it.

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  • The harsh truth is a lot of Filipinos marry out their daughters overseas all the time to send money back home, and that's made people suspicious when they find out some girl is romancing their friend over the internet from the Philippines. It's harsh but it's kind of understandable. You parents are just looking out for you, whether they're right or wrong

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    • Yes. I feel that. But she don't want my money, she wants only my love and affection.

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    • I'm not saying you should do what they say, only that you should consider their insight

    • Probably. But I believe that she is not like that. I believe it.

  • She loves you and you love her , that's all you need. Why care about what other people think?

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  • You're 24. Who cares if they dont approve? Its your life, not theirs. They can accept it or get out

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  • Prejudice is always ugly, so that clouds the issue. But if you don't have plans to resolve the distance problem, you're kidding yourself.

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    • I have plans. I want her. But i want prople's opinion as well

    • There are some stereotypes I've come to recognize in The Philippines. Some women will marry for love, but it's also VERY common for women to be a little too practical and marry for support. These women will often marry older men. They're still faithful and all, but there an be a little weirdness, so make sure you get the vibe and are aware of what you're getting into.

  • Are you adult? She is adult? Yes? Why the fuck you two care about family... Just go live somewhere else together.

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  • I don't have any help, but can say that my boyfriend family doesn't approve of me because of the major I'm studying

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  • Just find someone who they do like. Family is import and in the end they're really the only. Ones you have

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  • Fuck your parents, you have to do whatever u want. Anyway, if u r in a LDR think about a non-monogamic relationship

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  • It says your 24 years old. Why does your parents severely outdated and inflexible opinions have to do with anything this side of the millennium?

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  • What I'd do is ask for them to sit down and listen to what you have to say, without them saying anything and trying to argue with you while you speak. Then you try your absolute best to explain to them how much she obviously means to you, and that the only thing you ask of your parents is to accept your choice in partner. Tell them that they don't have to agree with you on who you chose as a partner. But to accept and respect your choice. Same goes for her. You're grown adults, you are allowed to choose for yourselves!

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  • LDR doesn't work in most cases and your dad is just concerned if this relationship will work.

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  • I assume ur both adults. why do u care what ur parents think , its ur relationship not theirs

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  • Don’t care if you are happy with the person stay with them it’s not your parents life

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  • If you love each other it doesn't matter what other people think

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  • All parents need to mind their own business... the kids have to fail to learn to understand

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  • If you love each other
    I don't see why u can't be together

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  • You're an adult doesn't matter what they think

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  • Doesn't matter it's not their life.

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  • Ignore ur parents

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  • Fuck what people think live your life

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  • Hire new parents.

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  • I convince him

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  • Ignore

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  • Ur parents know best. Lisren up

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  • You're Romeo and Juliet !

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  • Allah yardımcınız olsun

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  • Smh my parents are similar. And they may even think you don’t appreciate them if you don’t listen to them but honestly, it’s ur life. And they will have to accept that

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  • It is because people from other countries look at Philippine women as gold diggers, using men for Visa, but that's not true, it's an outdated view on things. And The Filipino parents don't normally approve on their daughters dating men of other races, I don't really know why. (This is from a Filipino)

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    • Yup. My dad had an experience with a philipino men who stole the cash he wanted to give it to a client and my dad needs to explain for it. That doesn't mean all people are like that.

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    • Fight for your love guys, just as long as you love each other really much, you'd get through this!

    • We love each other so much man. But my head is hurting because my brother's marriage is in August and i am next

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