Playing hard to get: why is it so effective?

I gave this guy im talking to shit for opening something I sent and not replying and he sent me a whole spiel on how it probably won't be the last time it happens.

fine, whatever. but it still annoys me.

yet it makes me want to talk to him more and try to get him to talk to me.

I even asked him (because he's from tinder so obvs its not serious) when we were going to screw so I could stop trying to talk to him

he just goes “gotta stall so you want it more”

im annoyed that game works on me. I know it’s because of wanting what we “cant have”, but heck.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yeah--it's because people value things more that they have to work for. That's why you're going to like the sex that much more when he finally decides to do you. It's tough for him because I'm sure he'd like to get to sex more quickly as well, but this way, you'll be more likely to REALLY enjoy it and therefore more likely to want to do him again, and again, and again, when he finally gets started with you.

    Have you ever met in person yet or are you still only chatting online?

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    • just chatting on snapchat. I sincerely doubt hed be able to actually stall if we did hang out.

    • Show All
    • Any plans to meet this dude?

    • Thanks for most helpful.

Most Helpful Girl

  • People want what the can't have. They take for granted what they can.

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    • you need to learn to read.

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    • I literally said at the bottom it’s about wanting what you can’t have, so I wager you don’t read fine.

    • Then you already know the answer to your question. People are still going to answer.

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What Girls & Guys Said

116
  • It is manipulating. Not something I did, and not effective on me. But I realize many people are hooked into it. All I can say is you have the looks and personality to go after and win so many great catches. I hope you realize that and dump his ass. You deserve better.

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  • women (statistically) are hardwired to be attracted to men with higher social status. You can have hundreds of needy guys orbiting around you but you never consider them relationship material. Because their being clingy makes them appear as having lower social status than you. But a man who shows confidence and isn't clingy shows you that he has a high enough status that he can access other females. That's why you want to secure him so your competitors don't take him out of your hands.

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  • I never really thought of 'playing hard to get' really effective. Apart from you, I don't know anyone who feels the same. Maybe, you just want to reach that point with him? Who knows.

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  • Why settle for a cheap and crappy car when you can get a better one you worked hard for to obtain it?

    You have to work for the things you really want. No handouts.

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  • Bahahahaha. What is that kik? That's silly. If he was smart he wouldn't read it at all. Must to learn he has. In my best Yoda voice.

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    • no snapchat. tf would I use kik for someone local? stupid

    • I use Kik for local people all the time. In fact all the people I know on there are local. Snapchat is for photogenic people. Do you still have to type messages in the photos?

    • Regardless my point still stands.

  • Generally because people want what they can’t have.

    That being said, if a girl plays hard to get or is constantly hot and in general, I move onto the next one. Too old for that shit.

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    • reading comprehension isn’t your strong suit, huh? repeating what I already said

  • Some guys like "the chase", the challenge of getting the girl and knowing he earned it.

    It seems like u play well into this personality of guy.

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  • I'd say that it probably stems more from an underlying desire that all people have to be acknowledged.

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  • Ya its for a couple of reasons and it works for almost everything for the most part

    I mean take video games as a simple example. What makes you come back? The challenge of it

    1. Same idea --> the personally challenge to get him to like you is satisfying
    2. It makes you feel you have more worth. Cause it tricks us into thinking we did something unique to put him in his place
    3. It makes you feel as if you have something to fix. Purpose. Fixing something gives purpose -> therefore its intrinsically motivating to keep at it

    Strange but ya it does work

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  • It's the same reason some women go for older married men.

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  • I'm the opposite and lose interest when someone plays hard to get

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  • We can be easy, if you wish.

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  • don't work on me, simply annoys me

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  • I think it’s manipulation. I don’t play into those games anymore.

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  • Its effective because you are a dumb meathead

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  • I know exactly why this works but can't tell you right now cos I'm kinda busy.

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  • Just message him

    "I'm going to be jumping someone's penis tonight. It's your decision if you want it to be yours or not."

    But yeah wanting what you can't have is real.

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