Girls, should a man who is missing most of his fingers on one hand but has no disability or limitations mention it in his onlie dating profile?

I'm a man who was born without most of the fingers on my right hand. I have no limitations, have a good job, I'm in shape, and decent looking but can't seem to get any hits. I have put it up because I feel like its an important thing about me but also feel as though it may be off-putting to some women. while its true that I technically have a disability its not like I would be showing up in a wheelchair, it's basically just cosmetic. I don't want to discuss it because I don't want to label myself as disabled since I live a normal life but I notice when people notice my hand and some dates I have met seemed shocked and bothered.
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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you should mention it at least in conversation. That would weed out people who think it's an issue and save your time as well as hers. Of course it can be tricky working it into the conversation. I doubt you wanna start a conversation with "I don't have all my fingers, you're free to run away now". Although, if I was in your position, self-deprecating humor might be the way I'd go about it. You should do it in a way that you're comfortable with. Once you've mentioned it, you don't have to discuss it further if you don't want to.

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What Girls Said 9

  • You need to at least mention it before dates. Otherwise they will be a little freaked and confused, as to them it's something you mention. It prepares them slightly for the sight.

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  • I'd take it out your bio and bring it into conversation instead once they get to know the real you! It wouldn't bother me! So I'm sure there are many women who will not care.

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  • My thoughts are you should so that you will not be wasting your time as the person who shows up to meet you accept how you are.

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  • The only problem for me would be for our children not to inherit it, but otherwise it's not that big of a deal and you shouldn't mention it if you don't want to. You don't owe anyone any explanations. But for the dates not to feel surprised (and you - discomfort) it would be good if you told her when you already arrange the date. Make it amusing, don't make it a big deal, take it easy and maybe even joke about it, it will take off the discomfort. People don't start dating profiles with "I have a chronic suicidal depression" or "I fart every minute", do they? Lol. Good luck.

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  • You should definitely mention it (but don't be ashamed). Women appreciate honesty. 😊

    "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"

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  • I don’t think you should mention it. It’s not like it’s a major cosmetic issue.

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  • You should mention it to save yourself problems or embarrassing situations arising when if you meet someone the right person won't care

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  • I maybe wouldn't put it in your description, but once you start to chat with a lady, and things are going well, say “hey, i know this may be __, but i do have a small physical disability. It doesn't affect me hardly at all but I am missing some digits on one hand.” And see how it goes from there. I have an autoimmune disease but its well managed so i’m kind of? (not really) in a similar boat.. like i tell friends and people i meet without much care, but once we get to know eachother better.

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  • Not in your profile, but in convo before you meet.

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