Would you date someone who you really had a spark with but later found out they had a quality you usually would never date someone with?

I met this girl and we really hit it off we've been talking a little over a month and I just found out she's a smoker, that's something I would just never go for but I really like her and am going to look past it

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It depends on the qualities to be honest.
    Smoking for me is usually not that big of a problem.
    If you really like someone, you should give the relationship at least a try or chance.
    I hate racism and discrimination, but I give her a try to understand her point of view and try to move on. Till now, it all went downhill. Lebanese people think being "Open Minded" means that girls should always have a time in bed with her boyfriend.
    I know it has nothing to do with the subject, but see who I am dealing with :-(
    For the good sake of your question, I would indeed date her and give her a chance, for the simple fact that I don't like to judge the book by its cover.

    Cheers!!!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yea my boyfriend seemed like Heaven in our first month or two but now i see he has so many habits i dont like. Im tryna deal with them and its been a year now but its so hard for me. He games too much, he barely exercises, and he wants us to own pets one day. Yikes

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    • You dont want pets?

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    • At least your situation is doable say no to the pets and as for his gaming I'm sure you know how to get his attention

    • @bklynbadboy1 i said no to pets bt he refuses to give it up. He was never allowed to have pets as a kid so he wants one when we live together. I find it unfair since he knows its my biggest fear and he's gone this long without them. But i told him if he's gonna get the husky he needs to build a poolhouse or something for it because i won't be in the same house as it

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What Girls & Guys Said

1130
  • Smoking used to be a deal breaker for me too, but I made an exception once and it was worth it. I assumed kissing would taste like cigarettes but surprisingly there was no difference. The only slightly annoying part was going outside for her to smoke pretty often when we hung out at my apartment

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  • I'd certainly try and work past it, she may give up in the future? I wouldn't ask her to though. But none the less if there is a spark it's something to work for. People you gel with don't come along that often so don't pass it up.

    Good luck :D

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  • bye bye. I know I'll be single for the rest of my life but it's better than with someone you don't like. that's my opinion. I can accomplish more alone than with bad people around. Batman works alone for some reasons. OK this has nohting to do with the topic

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    • Everything that has batman in it I like.

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    • @bklynbadboy1 because I don't trust anyone and because one little thing I dislike about someone I erase them. PLus even if I like someone it goes for a week. The longest I liked someone was a month. I spend most of my childhood alone so it's weird for me to actually not be alone. I enjoy being alone and I'm much better like that.

  • Id ask and find out if she's a heavy smoker or just an occasional smoker, I myself picked up the habit due to stress and it was a relief when I smoked but yet I stopped, and if you ask me I'd stop if my partner asked me to. Every now and then with a drink here and there I'd see it as being tolerable.

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  • If it's a negative quality that leads to other negatives, or starts influencing me negatively, then no!
    A lot of people can have that "spark" for the first 3 or so months, because everything about that person is new. As humans, we live new things. I like to see what qualities a person shows later, that tends to be when they are comfortable and they reveal who they truly are.

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  • It really depends on what trait or quality they had that I disliked. I can overlook some things, but then there's other things that I just couldn't overlook.

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    • But what if he was working on that bad quality trying to make things better

  • Let's say I have this girl going as a girlfriend and we hit it off super strong, but one day I know she smokes? It's break up time. Because unless I'm special enough for her, she prolly won't stop smoking. I'm just out dude. Like screw her. I'm finding girls with high life expectancies bruv.

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  • It depends. Sometimes we can look past a person imperfections if thing's go right and the chemistry is there.

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  • Maybe she will quit sometimes in the future without you knowing her intentions, you can not generalize the answer to your question.
    I would tolerate it and just try to incline both of us to leading a healthy life

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  • It depends I hate messy people but I am seeing a girl that is super messy and it makes my skin crawl. I am trying to see past it, been 2 years and it's ok but it annoys me still. If it gets worse I'm off

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  • Relationships are about compromise there is no such thing as perfect you can come pretty dam close and that's when you realise the one sacrifice will get you as close to perfect as you will probably ever get

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  • personally, i couldn't look past it :/ especially if it's something i'm really against :( i was really into this guy and i found out he really likes fishing and he became so unattractive to me. u do u:) but i wouldn't be able to stay

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  • Then don't date her! It's Unlikely she will stop smoking regardless how much you insist her because both of you are still dating (I guess?) and has not transitioned into a proper relationship.

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  • I don't know - I personally would try but, if I don't like certain qualities in someone - eventually it's going to come between the relationship...

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  • If I date someone like that then I will tell her that I don't like that thing which bothers me... and sometimes it's easier to quit that thing if we love someone very much 😍

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  • Nope! I won't go for someone who has a bad habit, she might also have other bad habits too. So if you still like her then try to find out about her first. . .

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  • yea i get it just let her know u dnt like smoking but try to bare it a little b4 u know it if she's really into you she'll leave it for you (either that or get you hooked up 😝)

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  • That's great... it's something to get use too, hope all works good for you. 😊

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  • My girlfriend broke up with me because she thought I was too worldy. Mostly based on her pre-sumptions, usong certain jokes I made.

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  • Depends on what it is. I can deal with smoking and a few other things but if she wanted to have sex with someone other than me, no.

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  • Oh if she smoked no I could not handle that I'm alergic to tobacco products they make me really sick. but other things can be gotten around.

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  • Well smoking is simply a pass for me, but something else like.. I dunno, nail biting I might look past.

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  • With time I would get used to it, no point breaking up

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  • Yes I want to go on a date, u should give at least one chance to everything.

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  • love is blind. love is all about to give. if it s not too bad then help her to quit smoking

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  • That would be hard. If it's a serious flaw, like being controlling or domineering, I'd end things.

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  • it really depends on what it is. i probably would not date someone who smokes.

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  • Not really.

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  • Yeah and then see how it works out

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  • I wouldn't date them

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  • I married her.

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  • Of course I would

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  • Yes ofcourse

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  • Yes. If I developed feelings for her

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  • Yeah I married her

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  • Try to convince her to stop smoking. Talk to her.

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  • Probably yes but it depends on much things.

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  • What is the problem with smoking?

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    • It's a bad expensive habit and it's really bad to the health of not just the smoker but those they smoke around

    • Every person who has a flaw is not a complete person, but if you really love her you have to challenge the world for her, at least try to advise her if you do not quit him, you start smoking Haha

  • Yep, depending on what it was.

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  • It depends on what it is, but most of the time I would.

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  • This one guy was amazing in every way except he had a tiny penis and was bad in bed. Like he was sexually retarded.

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    • How tiny are we talking about

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    • @bklynbadboy1 oh well the few Indian friends he had were also sexually inadequate.

    • So this ex boyfriend of yours was indeed Indian?

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