Should I be upset that my ex misses me, but doesn't want to casually hook up?

Breaking up a couple months was her idea, she couldn't handle a relationship anymore because of some personal issues (that are legitimate), and in retrospect I had some things I needed to take care of too. We both have casually had sex with other people (Ive slept with two girls and at least I've been told she's slept with another guy). We text every couple weeks just to see how each other is doing, and it's been pretty friendly. She said she misses me, but doesn't want to meet up with me because she's afraid it won't end well because she's afraid she might lead me on or lead herself on. Should I look at this as a positive or should I be upset that she's willing to sleep with someone else "no strings attached" but not me? This whole "on good terms" with my ex thing is new to me, so any insight on how to handle a situation like this appreciated!

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  • Well to be honest, do you really think you could hook up with her with no strings attached after having been her boyfriend for many years? I think that in this situation, feelings would inevitable be involved at some point. I think you two pretty much still have feelings for each other, so the best thing to do in this situation is indeed to keep some distance in the physical part, because easily one night of intense sex could bring the feelings you two had to the surface again. I don´t know anyone who has attempted a hook up with an ex that didn´t develop or reactivated feelings for the other person afterwards, so i guess she is right in what she is doing. Now i think you should just respect her personal space till you are ready to move on again or break up definitely.

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    • We weren't together for years, but when we were together we spent nearly every day with each other so it made the relationship more intense/ feel longer. I had talked about us moving in together and I think that overwhelmed her. I don't disagree with you or her, because I think at least one of us would develop feelings. It's hard to embrace the pain of missing her. I know moving on is the best option but truthfully, I don't want to. And yeah I am kinda jealous that she'd sleep with someone else and not me because of our history

    • Well man you will just have to get over it, i know it will be hard, but there is really no other option for the moment, you have to adapt to it. You are too attached and have to reduce this level of attachement gradually, it is hard, but needs to be done.

    • You're right bro

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