Long distance relationship? Is this normal?

I’m currently in the first long distance relationship I’ve ever had. Basically, I met my boyfriend at college, about two weeks before I left to take sometime off. So we dated for two weeks in the same place, and have now been dating two hours apart for about 6 months. I see him 1-3 times a week usually, tho sometimes we can go up to two weeks without seeing each other. When we are together things are SO good, we don’t fight, and we both clearly love each other so much. My problem is, the second we leave each other again I start questioning the whole thing. I wonder if he’ll get sick of the distance, if he really loves me, if I did anything to annoy him while I was there, I literally just start feeling like this will never work. I don’t feel like this when we are together, I feel like he’s the first person I’ve ever actually loved and we have such and unexplainable connection, but then we are apart and I don’t think I can handle not knowing when the next time I’ll see him is, and how long we will have to live apart. Is this normal?

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  • I think it's completely normal to question if this relationship will satisfy you. But, I see you're 23. Probably pretty soon you will be able to graduate. I know that this distance is hard, especially for the first year when all you want to do is see him. It seems like you two really make an effort to see each other.
    Honestly, I say give it time. A year. If, throughout this year, it feels like it is way too much for you to handle, hold on until a year. That's when relationships get pretty serious. It would really suck for you to leave the relationship when after a year or so, you guys could be planning to be moving in. You know? So maybe give it a little. It's going to be hard, but see if it's worth it. Climb the mountain, look at the view, and see if it's worth climbing a bit more. Just my dumb opinion!

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  • This is anxiety. It's common. Therapy may help. Strengthening your social life outside of your time with him can help. Perhaps there's something meaningful to him that he can place in your possession while you're apart to reassure you, or some kind of arrangement the two of you can make that's reassuring to you. Ultimately this is a "you" problem, but if he cares about you he'll want to take steps to reduce your anxiety, within reason. The only way he can take that steps, whatever they are, is if you're honest about how the distance makes you feel.

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