He said the worst possible thing to me & I don't know if I can get over it?

I care about him A LOT. I know he cares about me. But he said a very hurtful comment that hit one of my sore spots and I don't think he even realizes how deeply it hurt me. I've always received discouraging comments from people telling me that I'm not smart enough to succeed in life. People doubted that I could graduate high school and eventually college. I did both and maintained an 88% average in all my classes. But still somewhere deep inside I often question my intelligence because all I ever heard was that I was stupid. It hurts me to this day even though I know it's not true. Well he made a comment that implied I wasn't the smartest person in the world and it just brought back all these negative memories. I think he just said it jokingly and he doesn't know about my past, but I don't know if I can forgive that. I need some words of advice please :)

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yeah, let him know that's a sensitive subject with you. I'm guessing he was saying it in a joking tone.

    I have the opposite problem. People tell me I'm smart often (probably because of the glasses), and so they are typically less apt to explain things to me. I have to make sure to let people know that I don't know what they're talking about to get the whole story.

    Intelligence is truly in the eye of the beholder much like beauty. The only thing that really makes someone unintelligent is an unwillingness to learn and change.

    You may have had to work harder than most in school but you are by no means a dummy because you chose to learn.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Tell him you're hurt by his remarks.

    It's unfair to say 'i can't forgive him' if he didn't know and you didn't tell him.

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What Girls & Guys Said

08
  • You're probably just not too observant. You might be reading too much into this. If you think people find you to be stupid expand your vocabulary. If someone doesn't know the words you're using in a sentence they won't find you to be stupid because then they are stupider.

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  • Share this with him. And explain to him that it's not to make him feel bad (because if he does care, he will feel bad), but that you need to let him know how much it hurt you.

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  • Tell him that comment hurt you bad and trigger painful memories for you so he can watch out next time. Guys aren't mind readers so better to tell him and hopefully he say that he is truly sorry for hurting your feelings

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  • If its really that bad, then he doesn't care about you. Dump that guy and just grab a good guy outta the friend zone

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  • But you are not the smartest person in the world it's that simple don't read into things that are not there all you do is cause your self pain by doing that

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    • I know. It just triggered something inside of me that really, really hurt :( I hate being told that I'm stupid or incapable of doing something because I heard it so often and just wish someone would be in my corner encouraging rather than discouraging

  • i was the bloody back bencher ,
    the mistake you did was , you tried to prove them wrong and lived up to their expectation,

    in 7th grade i told, my parents i really do not give a fuck about their positive or negative opinion on my scorecard, and i actually did not gave a fuck, because all i imagined was getting a chance that life with my crush, just to see her another day, i went to school, just to not get punished in front of her, i did my homework, and just to see her in next class, i studied hard and scored decent in my results

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  • You're not the smartest person in the world. fact.
    That does not mean that you're an idiot.
    Not being an idiot does not mean that you can't do dumb things from time to time.
    People calling you out on your dumb behaviour does not mean that they think low of you.

    All those are true facts and are rational.
    I know your insecurities come from your past and you can't help it but try to take it rationaly. You're smart enough to understand where this feeling comes from, with time you'll learn how to tame those emotionnal over reactions.

    There is nothing to forgive, you know it's a soft spot, you know he's caring and not trying to hurt you. He's done nothing bad.

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  • you'll get over it at some point sorry though

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