Me and my boyfriend both have depression and I don't know what to do?

Question

So me and my boyfriend recently just started dating but i knew him for about a year and i realized before me and him got together our depression was jusy getting worse and now its kinda out of control and i dont know what to do. I love him so much its just scary...

Answer 1

The1Guy | 83 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Xper 6

I'm not a psychologist, but as far as I know depression is caused by one or both of two things:
1) Lack of certain chemicals in the body. See a specialist for that.
2) Lack of meaning in life. If this is the case, join the search.

Depression caused by lack of meaning is a growing global epidemic. But once you start actively searching for it, you are part of the sollution. You won't get better immediately. You might even feel worse at times, but you will be alive as long as you keep searching. And one day, you might find it.

tearra

+1 y
Im in counciling but it doesn't really seem to do anything anymore
The1Guy

+1 y
I think counceling is like all medical help.

It helps the body heal, looks after it along the way, puts some parts in place, takes some out if needed. But in the end the body heals itself.

It's not quite the same with the mind. I think that requires conscious efforts to really get better.

The doctor can't make your journey for you. Seek meaningful, purposeful activity. What ever it is for you at the moment.
The1Guy

+1 y
Oh, and it's not quite so obvious, but the most important thing is that a meaningful activity should connect you to others in a positive way. The root of depression and aimlessness is the lack of psitive connection between you and others.

That's what I believe anyway.

Answer 2

tearra

Im in counciling but it doesn't really seem to do anything anymore

Answer 3

The1Guy

I think counceling is like all medical help.

It helps the body heal, looks after it along the way, puts some parts in place, takes some out if needed. But in the end the body heals itself.

It's not quite the same with the mind. I think that requires conscious efforts to really get better.

The doctor can't make your journey for you. Seek meaningful, purposeful activity. What ever it is for you at the moment.

Answer 4

The1Guy

Oh, and it's not quite so obvious, but the most important thing is that a meaningful activity should connect you to others in a positive way. The root of depression and aimlessness is the lack of psitive connection between you and others.

That's what I believe anyway.

Answer 5

BigRob420 | 724 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Yoda

Make a plan to better your life with short simple steps. That way you can see progress of accomplishing goals. Simple things work to start. Tired of your job put in applications 5 a week. You'll either get a better job or a pay raise in the first 2 months.

Answer 6

notwhatitseems

Xper 1

I hope this works out. Usually its hard when both people in a relationship have a mental illness. My best friend has bipolar depression and her boyfriend has anxiety and whenever it gets too much she comes to talk to me. It can work. Stay strong. I'm also dealing with my own mental health problems so I can understand to some extent what you're going through. I wish the best for you in your relationship :)

Answer 7

BenR1991

Xper 4

If you ever need somebody to talk to then don't hesitate to message me. I understand what your going through, iv been suffering from depression for over 10 years and battling it alone. It's not a nice place to be.

tearra

+1 y
Yea I've had it for about 5 years now and it just sucks ya know its like my life just started going good then it just gets pulled from under me
BenR1991

+1 y
Would you like me to private message you to talk about it? It's totally up to you.
tearra

+1 y
Um sure why not but im worning im not actully 17 that was the year regulation so yea but oh well ig
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BenR1991

+1 y
It doesn't matter I'm not trying to hit on you or be a creep, it's purely to give you some help and support if you need it.
tearra

+1 y
I know im just sayong so if i say somwthing stupid thats why

Answer 8

tearra

Yea I've had it for about 5 years now and it just sucks ya know its like my life just started going good then it just gets pulled from under me

Answer 9

BenR1991

Would you like me to private message you to talk about it? It's totally up to you.

Answer 10

tearra

Um sure why not but im worning im not actully 17 that was the year regulation so yea but oh well ig

Answer 11

BenR1991

It doesn't matter I'm not trying to hit on you or be a creep, it's purely to give you some help and support if you need it.

Answer 12

tearra

I know im just sayong so if i say somwthing stupid thats why

Answer 13

chiragpatel_01

Xper 1

That's not love Dr it's ur attraction to him.. u just don't have to think more if he is influencing u just breakup 😊

Answer 14

markscott | 2.7K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Master

See a psychiatrist, and both get an antidepressant.

tearra

+1 y
I am he isn't
markscott

+1 y
If he is unwilling to take steps to have a healthier life, and a better relationship, you may want to re-consider staying in a relationship with him. it's one thing to be in a relationship where someone has issues, and is willing to work on them. It's entirely different if he is unwilling to be healthier and better. That does not bode well for your future, if he stays in that rut.

Answer 15

tearra

I am he isn't

Answer 16

markscott

If he is unwilling to take steps to have a healthier life, and a better relationship, you may want to re-consider staying in a relationship with him. it's one thing to be in a relationship where someone has issues, and is willing to work on them. It's entirely different if he is unwilling to be healthier and better. That does not bode well for your future, if he stays in that rut.

Answer 17

outside_Toronto

Master

What's wrong with life? Depression is not accepting what's happening to you right now. Why aren't you accepting it?

tearra

+1 y
Thats not what depression is. Depression is like screaming in a crowd of people and everyones just looking and not doing anything
outside_Toronto

+1 y
So to figure it out... you have to understand what you're screaming about. If you're screaming for no point, that's not depression, that's insanity
tearra

+1 y
Your fuckin stupid if you think that's insanity. Thats depression buddy. Its being in emotional pain and not knowing why
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outside_Toronto

+1 y
You don't know why because you're either not thinking about it enough to figure it out, or you don't wanna figure it out.
Typically people are at odds with the reality around them or they won't let go of a negative experience (s) from the past.
BenR1991

+1 y
You sir have a lot of learning to do.
outside_Toronto

+1 y
@BenR1991 So teach me
BenR1991

+1 y
Send me a private message buddy

Answer 18

tearra

Thats not what depression is. Depression is like screaming in a crowd of people and everyones just looking and not doing anything

Answer 19

outside_Toronto

So to figure it out... you have to understand what you're screaming about. If you're screaming for no point, that's not depression, that's insanity

Answer 20

tearra

Your fuckin stupid if you think that's insanity. Thats depression buddy. Its being in emotional pain and not knowing why

Answer 21

outside_Toronto

You don't know why because you're either not thinking about it enough to figure it out, or you don't wanna figure it out.
Typically people are at odds with the reality around them or they won't let go of a negative experience (s) from the past.

Answer 22

BenR1991

You sir have a lot of learning to do.

Answer 23

outside_Toronto

@BenR1991 So teach me

Answer 24

BenR1991

Send me a private message buddy

Answer 25

BellePepper | 2.9K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Master

Are either of you in treatment?

tearra

+1 y
I am but he isn't cuz his mom doesn't even know he is depressed
BellePepper

+1 y
Well there are two things you can try to accomplish right there :)

Answer 26

tearra

I am but he isn't cuz his mom doesn't even know he is depressed

Answer 27

BellePepper

Well there are two things you can try to accomplish right there :)

Answer 28

questformytelos

Xper 3

Get help. It really does work

Answer 29

blondfrog | 3.4K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Master

That's not a good match.

Answer 30

bhagwanji

Xper 1

Why depression? For what you fear?

tearra

+1 y
Its not a choice
bhagwanji

+1 y
Then?
tearra

+1 y
Nvm 😒
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bhagwanji

+1 y
Nvm?
bhagwanji

+1 y
Face your self first and leave mobile be side and find your self inside
BenR1991

+1 y
That's not how depression works dude