Is it wrong to avoid mentioning my nationality in my dating profile?

I'm British, but I've been living in the U. S. for over a decade now since my family moved. I went to high school and college over here, and am very integrated. I kept the English accent, but I operate in my daily life the same way Americans do. I started a profile on Bumble a month ago, and I didn't mention my nationality in my profile, since I feel it doesn't define me and I wanted to emphasize my hobbies and interests. Most of my dates have gone well so far (with a number of requests for seconds and thirds), but the guys always seem surprised to learn that I'm English when I show up on the date. They're like "Woah, unexpected," but then we just have a normal date. So... is this something I have to disclose in my profile? Will guys honestly feel misled if I'm not American?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • What’s bumble? Honestly sometimes I find it really weird because I’m a dark complexion Latina/African American. I love my complexion but sometimes I feel like people might think I’m tan or something in pics so I get nervous becahse if a white guy talks to me I can’t just blabber hey you know I’m black right? But at the same time I want to make sure they’re ok with my ethnicity. Some guys flat out say, I like darker complexion girls and I get a sense of relief lol. I also try to find a way to disclose that I am not model skinny. Online dating is so hard because I never want to paint a picture that is not true lol.

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    • Thanks for MHO!

Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't know too many guys who would care about that but it's actually something super interesting about you that I think would be a benefit to share on you profile. It makes you a little unique and that is a good thing so I would mention it for those reasons.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • It is not misleading because I don't think that would make a difference to many guys. Most guys would probably be pleasantly surprised. However, there is no down side to disclosing that in your profile.

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  • I'm American, but I spent a good decade living in Japan. Now that I have returned, it's something I'll mention on social profiles. It's a good conversation starter and a good signal to others that might not identify with you otherwise, that you have something in common.

    Since we're talking about men here, I doubt they feel misled, they just didn't expect it. The times I felt misled was like the time I went on a date only to find out she was deformed from the tits down... some kind of midget that had surgery to become taller (and was still short). Yeah... she could've mentioned that detail. Same goes for those women that turn out to be 100lbs heavier than they were in their pictures.

    So in conclusion if you don't want to surprise them, mention it and they would've expected it. I think that sort of surprise would be delightful... unexpected, yes, but not deceptive in the least. The girls I just told you about, they were deceiving me from the start... I don't even know them and they're already manipulating me. Major turn off. You're getting repeat dates for reasons.

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  • I agree w the gentleman who said add it. It helps create conversation and everyone loves accents, especially "dumb americans". I would probably say sonething like "moved here a few years ago from across the pond." You know, its not your most important trait, but its good to create an easy topic to chat about.

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  • Personally, I like English women, and understand the accent, and find it quite attractive!! It might be an 'attraction point' if you say you are English, and still have an 'accent'!! Maybe more dates?
    I have tried dating sites, and I always put the things that I like/do/am that others have had issues with, in the past. I don't have time to get to know someone from China, that absolutely hates American men!
    Is there some reason you don't say that you are English, and have an accent?

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  • I am a Canadian citizen... but i was born in El Salvador... I am proud of where I came from so ya I would... or dont... it's up me. If the guy likes me for who I am that's great if not that's great too bc its not the end of the world. I like me. And i am not miss leading any guy if i dont tell them on my profile either... that something I would discuss when I either see them or private talk to him. ☺

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  • It is irrelevant. It isn't this "thing" that is going to affect anything so it doesn't matter. Put it in your profile or don't, I doubt it will affect anything. It may even get you more responses because the guys will want to hear your sexy accent. A lot of people, men and women find a mate with a French or English accent attractive.

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  • Nah. Like you said, your hobbies and interests are way more important. Since you're fully integrated at this point, the only key factor that sets you apart from people born in the US is the fact that you have an accent, and family from the UK. I don't think anyone considers it a dealbreaker so it's not worth mentioning.

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  • I wouldn't personally since you're getting guys who are interested in you vs guys who are interested in you simply because you're foreign. Like they look at you as a conquest just to be like 'Oh I banged a British girl lol'

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  • I only keep my nationality or where I'm from as New Zealand on social media because I only moved to the U. S. three or four years ago. For you I'd keep it as what consider yourself as. Keep in mind if you put British you might get more attention, because from what I've figured out people in the U. S. freak out whenever they hear something different than their own accents.

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  • Unless you get some redneck nationalist I can't see that happening. I dont know anything about bumble but most dating websites have you show your location through your nationality so Id say there its necessary, but not usually

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  • It's not wrong. Usally the way Americans differentiate each other is by skin color first as I'm sure you know.

    Anyways it's your profile so do with it what you will.

    Personally though I find a few forgien accents to make women more appealing so if I were to meet a woman without knowing she had an accent (in your case English) it wouldn't bother me one bit in fact it would make it better.

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  • When you show up to the date and the other person is surprised that you're British, I don't think they mean it in a bad way; they're probably surprised because they're in a country where it isn't likely that someone from another country is raised in that country (if you know what I mean 😂😂). You don't have to put it in ur profile, but if you don't like how they expect an American, then yeah, put it in your profile 😂x

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  • You would probably get a lot more interest on the dating app if you have your nationality as British on the dating app. The Americans love the British.

    If American men are anything like American woman, your British accent will be a huge turn on. I'm Welsh but my accent is English (I was told by an American lady that I sound like Hugh Grant without the stutter) and American women love it

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  • Personally, I think that we did not ask to be born here or there. So nationality is some sort of 'accident'. But I have the impression that this detail is important to some people. This still does not oblige an individual to (initially) mention his/her origins. But it can be helpful to explain our background.

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  • Of course you should mention it. You think being British doesn't define would you are but British culture is completely different than American culture. If an American was dating in London do you think that it would make sense that they wouldn't mention that they're American?

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  • I would absolutely include it! Something like “born in England raised in the USA.“ I think it’s a plus that separates you from many other girls profiles guys will look at which I imagine is what you want.

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  • I don't know that it really matters, but it wouldn't hurt to mention it somewhere in your profile. From what I can tell, most Americans tend to like Brits, so it's not like it'd be a turn-off and if it hasn't affected your dates thus far, I wouldn't worry about it.

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  • Nobody made a big deal out of it so why should you? Continue as is, its not like you're parading around as a different race than people would assume you are.

    Nothign wrong with not disclosing where you were born with people youve never met.

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  • I’d like to know what it is your doing that makes them think your American and what your American lifestyle is that is so different to British? We all may learn something interesting here. Maybe then we can give a better opinion to your question :)

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  • You don't have to disclose it, no one is really gonna care, but it would probably be a boost if you did. A lot of people find your accent very attractive, and being English might make you seem more interesting.

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  • Be yourself - always.
    In a relationship, you don't want to be an actress.
    You have no need to hide your British origins although on a dating profile, your situation is complex. I see no need not to say your are not an American either.

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  • Who cares about nationality... tho if you still have your accent some people might be attracted to it

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  • I donot think it's misleading... and it's up to u what u want to share or not... whstever accent u have.. only ur personality matters in a Relationship... yup there are people we call racist may object otherwise it's ur personal matter

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  • not wrong at all. it's not a big deal. but i don't think it's a big deal to mention you are British. you could mention you moved to the US long long ago

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  • No, you can add or leave whatever you want and nationality isn't the first thing that comes to my mind to mention (unless it could cause a language barrier or anything, but that's not the case)

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  • It doesn't define who you are in dating if you are English (or some other nationality) so it is pointless to mention that in the profile, unless there is some significance or important context to it related to dating

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  • It's always good to be an Honest Jane with even your Name. You eventually would Need to tell him What and Where, and just Who you're all about. xx

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  • No, its just without mentioning it they end up being surprised by the accent. Its not a bad thing, just not something they would expect. Your fine.

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  • No one will care. It's a contradiction to the voice they've been hearing while reading you texts. You don't use British words like lift when you type. Just feel good about who you are, no good will come of thinking less of yourself.

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  • Sounds like a nice surprise, to me at least. It's my favorite accent. Oh and great conversation starter for the date, I say you should leave it off the profile.

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  • I'd say it would just add to the surprise factor (In a positive sense.) If anything they might ask you though about your ethical culture. Out of curiosity.

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  • I don'y live in the USA, but I don't think that they would feel too misled. Whenever someone who I texted to turned out to sound different than i'd imagined, I'm never like "WTF". If anything that sounds cool. Maybe its just because I like British accents but that's just my take.

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  • I never mention im dutch either and people never guess😅

    They just assume I'm russian , Ukrainian or from the Baltics even though there's barely any accent.
    I think that's kind off impossible for those people..

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  • Unless you want to get 100% matches, I wouldn't advise it.

    We know how crazy Americans go for British people...

    You'd probably get more positive swipes than a celebrity.

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  • No, I think you should continue the way you have. There is nothing wrong with the element of surprise, they obviously seem to like it sinc they ask you out again :)

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  • I think it's ok, like if you were french or something and couldnt speak the language properly then you should tell them, but if the only difference is you're accen it probably wouldn't really matter

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  • It's best for you to tell everything so you have a clear level playing feild and also you don't want to date a drinker or a guy that uses drugs it's
    a big problem. You should say you're looking for a non drinker and a non-smoker

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  • I wouldn't, because to a small number of guys you may be their fetish. They may manipulate you just because of your nationality. But if a guy is upset or misled because you didn't tell him, he isn't the one.

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  • Well you got 2 choices leave it as is an keep catching the same fish or mention it which will automatically make you more interesting and intelligent and will possibly draw in all new catches to reel in. by the way where in the UK are you from.

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  • My girlfriend is exactly like you.. been here since HS, maintains the accent (it gets stronger whenever she goes back home for any length of time.. lol). While she never did the online dating thing, she did tell me that it annoyed her when guys were only interested in the accent. So, she probably wouldn't do it for that reason.

    But from my perspective, I think it might be good to note. There are men out there that imagine some significant cultural difference. It intimidates them in a way. It feels awkward. There are also Anglophiles (like myself) out there that might be on the fence, but that one thing generates interest in getting to know you.

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  • No, it's just a pleasant surprise. Keep your nationality as American and mention somewhere in your profile that you're a British American and have an accent.

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  • If you dont mention it in your profile , when you meet irl it will give you something to talk about

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  • I don't think there's a reason to feel mislead by that - though I don't see a reason to avoid mentioning it. I'm an Ethnic Nationalist, I think pride in your heritage and ancestry is good, so I do think you should mention it.

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  • I wouldn’t think it would be a big deal. I’d be like cool I love the accent

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  • Honestly it doesn't matter if you disclose you're British or not, whatever you're comfortable with, the date should be okay with that. Also, it's not entirely misleading, so it's nothing to really worry about.

    Hope this helps.

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  • I’m glad you kept your British accent, that alone is a huge ummmm... attractive characteristic. Why would you want to keep being UK native secret?

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  • Don't worry about it. It would be a pleasant surprise.

    In your initial communication before you meet, you could mention you were born in the UK and have lived here for x years.

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  • hellllllll nooooo it's why America is the greatest melting pot in history, emphasize that you're a brit, use your native slang, it's cute as hell, and if they don't like it, they don't like it. there's plenty of dudes out there.

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    • That's why there are thoughts about a wall to Mexico? :D

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    • my ancestors from Scotland came over in the early 1900's

    • but they were more lax, but the US also had more land and less people.

  • I don't think it's necessary to mention it, but why wouldn't you? It's not like you have to be ashamed of it.

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