I have a boyfriend but I feel like I just met my soulmate? Help?

I'm almost 24. I've been with my current boyfriend for 3 years, we met at work.

Recently, I started a TA position at my former university. Its given me the opportunity to meet a lot of new professors and reunite with old ones that I had in the past. There's a new professor (he's 31). And I don't know how to explain this feeling when I met him. The first time we talked, it was only for about five minutes but I felt like I had known him my entire life. Later on, in a different conversation, I find out that he used to live on the next street over from me until he left for college at 18. Which I was 11 at the time. But we never met. The age difference and going to different schools prevented that. But for 11 years of my life, he lived on the next street over and I had never seen him.

This professor and I have lunch breaks at the same time, and I've been spending them with him. No flirting has happened on my side. He's really awkward when he compliments me, and I've noticed that he does check me out. But, I feel like there's something pulling me towards him. Like, if maybe I knew him in a previous life kind of thing. Maybe. I've definitely never felt this way about someone.

I'm torn. I'm having trouble with these feelings. I feel like I'm cheating but I haven't flirted with this guy, or physically cheated. But I have overbearing feelings for this professor. But I also love my boyfriend. What do I do? I've never been in a situation like this.


Most Helpful Guy

  • This is a grass is greener on the other side, in other words hypergamy. This is ingrained into female nature and something you shouldn't give into. It's just you thinking you've found something better.

    • Did you just imply that I'm trying to "marry up"? That's what hyper gang is. Lol. I'm in a Ph. D program. When I finish, I'll be in the same position as he is. And my boyfriend is a lawyer so it has nothing to do with marrying up or the grass is greener on the other side.

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • I think that your just experiencing a crush, it should pass eventually

    • I've had crushes before. This doesn't feel like that. This makes me feel like I'm drowning. Like I can't be apart from this person. Like I said, I've never felt this way.

    • I would possibly try talking to the guy about it, and if it's shared feelings, perhaps you should try being with him instead.

  • It happens to people.. Just divert your thoughts.. Spend more time with your boyfriend..

    • I've been trying. I just feel like I'm drowning when I'm not with this other guy.

    • Show All
    • I wasn't trying to push myself on this other guy. I just feel like there's an invisible pull that brings me to him. In a way.

      I've talked to him about things that I've never even told anyone else and he has told me things he's never told anyone. Have you ever had to hide something about yourself? Because you felt like people would look at you different or wouldn't feel the same? I feel like I don't have to hide anything from him, like he doesn't treat me differently.

    • One thing I can say.. Love cannot happen on different people at same time.. This is most important.. Yes you have feelings on the other guy and sharing everything with him.. We always have one person in our life to whom we share everything about our personal life.. He's the guy for you.. If you want to continue to share your info with him.. Do it.. But keep in mind that you have boyfriend and don't wanna lose him..

  • This is why men shouldn't get married, eventually a woman will fall in love with another man.


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