What's a great to begin to get over the fear of rejection?

Now the fear hasn't stopped me all the time, but I haven't asked out a lot, and I've been told no so I expect it now. Like in my heart I want to pursue things but my mind reminds me of what's happened previously and so that will more often than not, convince me not to do anything. I get nervous and I don't how to socialize in a flirty way. I feel pretty far behind. I know who I am, I know my strengths and weaknesses, and I'd say this is one of my biggest weaknesses.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Stop asking girls out. Start talking to them like a normal human being. Get to know the girl you like, and don’t try to change yourself so that she will like you. Be yourself, and if she doesn’t like you, move on.

    Guys have this stupid idea that we all have to be pick up artists. We have to go “spit game” at girls or else they will never want us.

    Be yourself. If you’re a lazy fat sack of shit with nothing going for him, then stop being that. Females won’t lower their standards, so you must rise up. You don’t need to be a player. You don’t need to know the perfect words to say to girls. You just have to be the interesting and unique human being you are. Stop trying to change your personality to fit what you think girls like. Girls like men who are expressive of their own nature.

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    • I’ve only asked out one girl in the past two years. I’m in 2 sports, 2 clubs, and have a job where I work 25 hours a week or more

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    • And yes you are an interesting and unique and awesome person. You are. You simply have to realize it. You have to realize that we humans are obsessed with other humans. But the people who have the worst time, are the people who are scared. Who feel like they need to fit into some social protocol. That's not how things work. People like people who are human. And being human means expressing yourself just like the bird tweets. You express yourself unapologetically and everyone will respect you and like you for it. We like people who are themselves.

      Although some of us who are socially retarded, we build up a hatred for people who are self expressive. And thus we fuck ourselves over by discarding that and writing them off as inferior or stupid somehow. I don't think you're that kind of guy but I mention it just in case lol.

    • I pick and choose who I want to talk to and put up with

Most Helpful Girl

  • Just think about the worst possible thing that can happen. Which is it frees up your time to succeed somewhere else.

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    • I already know I'll be working 8 AM- 10 PM at least 4 days of the week and working 8 AM- 4 PM at least one day. So at least 8 AM-10 PM for 5 days a week is what I'll be working. So i'm already pretty busy but I'd make time for a girl, if I convinced myself to ask a girl out.

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    • Meh, it’s just part of the job. Doesn’t really affect me anymore. It just frees me to get to someone who can use my help.

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What Girls & Guys Said

211
  • The only way to gain confidence in anything is to do it repeatedly. When it comes to approaching women, flirting, making a move etc. The more you do it, the easier it gets. You'll get rejected a lot and at first you have to kind of force yourself to do it despite being nervous, but eventually you become so desensitised to it that you don't care.

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  • What would make you a great Lol , or dota or fortnite player?
    Practice.
    That's what makes you better at taking rejection.
    I was really shy , but found the nerve to talk to girls.
    I needed to get layed you know , so I tried and tried and it becomes easier, almost natural.
    You will understand that girls like whoever seems more fearless usually.
    Not aggressive or loud or rude , but fearless.

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    • How did you become fearless?

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    • Nah dude.
      Take risks , when you're ready.
      Asking girls out is a ritual.
      All males go through it.
      You will definitely see that it is rewarding.
      You will be a better talker , and have some of that booty too.
      Don't take it too seriously.
      I was really a dog at some point , going out with many girls per week.
      Then in the process I met someone who became my wife later , out of the blue.
      I was around 30 at the time.
      Life is a game , learn to not take it seriously and try to be on too of it.

    • Maybe I'm overthinking it all. I'm good one on one in a laid-back environment, not too many people around. I haven't been on a real date in nearly 3 years. I haven't been in a relationship either and I'll be in college in August. I also am 6'2 235

  • I used to be a gymnast. When you watch gymnastics on TV you are seeing the results of someone who has fallen literally thousands upon thousands of times. They try something, go flying to the mat a tenth of a second later, then get up and do it again.

    They didn't give up the first time they fell. Nor did they give up the ten thousandth time they fell. They are determined they are going to get it right no matter how many times it takes.

    It comes with practice and experience, and just not giving a shit when you fall. Falling is part of the process.

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  • To think that in the grand scheme of things they are only one in millions of choices and that one day your time will come.

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  • Well, what if you're already not invested, the best way is to change your mindset. Instead of thinking about what they'll think about you, think about what they have to offer you as a person.

    Wonder about whether or not they'll actually be an interesting person that won't waste your time. This is what makes approaches more genuine.

    Apparently girls reject guys based on their approach and looks. If they reject cause of looks, it wasn't worth your time. But what I said above can help approach with more confidence.

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  • Honestly getting rejected hurts. But it hurts less every time you do get rejected. Just throw yourelf our there and if nothing sticks then don't blame urself. People don't inherently think bad of you. If there not interested that's it. It could be for a wide range of reasons why. Perhaps there in a "its complicated" situation with someone and are being loyal. Or are just genuinely uninterested, or the first impression they got of you went south from what you wanted. Its OK to ask yourself if there is something wrong with you. But it becomes unhealthy when you start to go threw extremes to change yourself to force people to like you.

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    • I might need to change myself

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    • You can't expect every interaction to bring "success".
      Do you mean embarrassing yourself in the eyes of others? You want to imply that you LiVE for other people? Would you rather walk around miserable that you didn't even TRY?
      You should pride yourself on the ability to take action rather than fearing or anticipating an outcome.

    • @xxknx I sometimes can convince myself to take action but sometimes I don’t because I don’t want to fall flat on face

  • Don't depend on others to valid yourself. Stand on your own two feet and be your own man.

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    • But what do I say or do? I do care what others think of me. I don't want to be a creep.

    • Think about it this way.. if other people don't accept you as you are when you are honest then are they even worth your time?

    • No maybe I’m overthinking everything

  • What usually works for me is that I take a deep breath (or four), and then i ask myself... are you really going to give up a chance to be with someone like her.. because of a few butterflies in your stomach? I think about it for a lil' while... the answer is usually no. Then I go make my move. It doesn't take away the fear completely, but it reduces it enough that I can ask her out without stuttering. Oh and even though its cliche, its true... as long as you don't fall into the trap of thinking that something is wrong with you, each rejection hurts less than the one before. sorry for the long answer, lol

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  • Always remember, its just a simple no. If you get rejected its not the end if your life.

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  • Unless you have abs or a LOT of money, every woman will reject you. Fact of life

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    • If your a shallow individual and don't open support your partner with a healthy take on life. Then yes this mindset is for you

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    • This isn't what "women want" it's not that they aren't good additions to your life but those won't get you laid or make a relationship.

    • Women are not interested in relationships

  • Rejection is bs. Punch it on its face

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  • Adreniline rush

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  • Get used to it

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