How do I let people in?

I’m 22 and I’ve never:

1. Had sex
2. Been on ONE date
3. Kissed a guy
4. Had a boyfriend.

And, despite some guys who’ve confessed their crush towards me, I get really terrified of getting attached. I don’t know why. I’ve never even been hurt badly before; my family is loving and nurturing (except my mom who’s a bitch), and yes I’ve had crushes on guys many times. Every single time, they also liked me back but it didn’t go anywhere significant.

Over the years I’ve learned that I’ve been actively avoiding intimacy with everyone and not just guys. Also girls and friendships in general. I feel insecure.

How do I let people in?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You mentioned your mom was a bitch. Maybe she has had an effect on you whereby you feel worthless and “not enough”. If that’s the case - therapy is the cure.

    Also if you grew up in a fundamentalist Christian environment (like me), then you’ve been through the whole brainwashing process where sex looks like a satanic thing to do and kissing a guy before marriage is a horrible sin. You just have to realize and really understand that this is all bs.

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    • You’re spot on. My mom is a terrible person and she loves to put people down and makes my self esteem drop to zero every time I see or talk to her.

      And yes I grew up in an extremely religious family. Not Christian, my family is extremely inclined to Hinduism (no I’m not Indian) and they’ve expressed their disdain for things like sex and kissing

Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, I must admit am very similar to you
    I never kissed a guy

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What Girls & Guys Said

31
  • That is something you would have to work on yourself. But in order to do that you have to put yourself out there and start building relationships solely on trust! Feel people out first what their intentions are with you before completely opening up.

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  • Same... I think you should find courage to open up and risk getting hurt. You are not chiild anymore you could handle this rejection.

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  • You have to open your heart it and go out there and find a boy to kiss. Only saying that because you phrased the wuestion that way. There’s other things besides boys

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  • Had sex

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