My boyfriend's roommate is cheating on his girlfriend, should I tell the girlfriend?

He admitted to having a 3 some with 2 other chicks and I know his girlfriend would not approve as I know her well as well as him. They are both my friends and I don't know rather to tell her or keep it a secret. I feel bad for her and for knowing he cheated on a wonderful person. I'm stuck in between a rock and a hard place because I don't want to get involved but I feel like she should know.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It would have been one thing if his friend was having the threesome with his girlfriend's approval but I'm certain the girlfriend would have wanted to be involved too if they both approved of the idea. There's no reason to hold back the truth from her because while it may be painful and emotionally traumatizing, she'll appreciate the fact that you told her so she can decide whether to forgive him or move on. She's going to find out one way or another because men will behave differently when they are less intimate with their girlfriends when they start flirting and having sex with other people. If I was in her shoes, I'd want you to tell me as soon as it happened so I can be mature and take direct action on it.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I will live by this motto till the day I die do unto others as you would want done to you I'll never forget when I started my first year in college and my own mother and brother saw my then-boyfriend talking to another girl and taking her home and they never told me and I just felt really betrayed by them.. now you also have to consider the second case scenario there has been times that I have told on the person that was being cheated on and then I got made out to be the liar they ended up hating me both but I just had to tell myself hey I done the right thing so I was able to hold my head high at the end of it

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What Girls & Guys Said

1333
  • Mind your own business because you will make an enemy and he will lash out at you and send some slutt to seduce your boyfriend when he's drunk or drugged and that he will show you how it feels to be told your boyfriend is cheating on you. On the other hand if you have a crush on this guy by all means act fast tell him that you ran him out because you want to have him for yourself if you play your cards right you can have the both of them at the same time

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  • No, that is their business. You need to just keep quiet because if you tell it, then problems start and you are going to be in it, and then if they make up, they are gonna have a problem with you. I know it seems bad, but trust me that is how it always is. If you are cool with the girl friend then maybe you could send some hints but not directly but if not, you need to leave it alone

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  • Here's what I would do: Force the cheater's hand into confessing to his lady. "You have to tell her. You have 3 days. If you don't tell her, I will." Follow through with your promise if he doesn't tell her.

    If you have clear evidence, that would be helpful.

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  • I don't know which is better in these cases. I think it's the morally right thing to tell the truth but it ends up hurting them. They can also turn on you because they're in denial.

    I think it's like ripping off a bandaid some it's better to have it done. She shouldn't have to stay with a cheater.

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  • Make sure she gets the message anonymously. She has to know for justice.

    Like an email from an account containing mostly numbers and include the evidence there if you have them.
    Or leave her a letter with no returning address.

    And if your "friends" participate in him cheating, can you expect those same "friends" to have your back?

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  • Yep, she deserves to know. Why cover for this guy and leave your "friend" in the dark while she's getting screwed over. I'm sure if she ever found out and then knew you knew all the time and left her in the dark she'd be pissed.

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  • I think you should tell her. I would not be able to trust again my girlfriend if she did this to me. If she wants to break or keep, its her choice, but she would know it.

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  • Just because he had a threesome doesn't mean he did it while he was dating his girlfriend. I would suggest that you play this close to the vest, and wait until you can prove beyond a doubt that he actually cheated. In many cases, the other person finding out is more damaging than the actual cheating... and implying that someone has cheated when they really haven't is pointlessly trashing their good name.

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  • Tell him that he needs to come clean if he cares for her, give him a deadline (like 3 days or a week or something) and if he doesn't by then, tell her. No grace period.

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  • yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes

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  • I think u should tell her cause if u dont she is living a lie and think ifur boyfriend did this and ur frnd knew and she wouldn't tell u then how would u feel u would feel cheated from ur boyfriend as well as frnds side

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  • I think you should tell her cause if she finds out that you knew about it the whole time then she might not want to be a friend with you. And obviously she's gonna give her boyfriend. So you tell her the truth and after all his cheating two chicks.

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  • You should wait. The non-interference policy is best. After all, they might work it out if she catches him.

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  • I would. It may end the friendship with one but safety wise if she doesn't know he could give her an STD from one of the other girls he's having a relationship with.

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  • Imagine a year from now when she finds out, and then realizes that you knew all along and didn't tell her. Not gonna be friends anymore after that...

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  • Yes you should tell her. You'd want to know if you were being cheated on wouldn't you?

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    • Even better, record him or get him to admit it over text, and show her in case she doesn't believe you.

  • I think it depends on one thing. Would you want to know if that happened to you? If yes, then go ahead. I would tell her.

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  • Only advice both of them, if you are their friends make them realize something is not working in their relationship.

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  • Because it's not really your business - other people's relationship, you could just hint, to raise suspicion, without confirming our denying anything.

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  • If ur boyfriend is too close to his roommate i feel its a bad idea.. he may loose a little faith in u..

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  • In this situation you can't win. No one's going to thank you for getting involved and the outcome will be nasty.
    in my opinion the best way to handle it is to tell the guy that he is out of order and that you think he should leave her and of you ever hear of anything like that again your be forced to tell her.

    If you tell her now you risk losing her as a friend as well as obviously destroying there relationship.

    At the very least I think you should give him time to tell her himself. This isn't for him it's for your friend as it would be much better coming from him.

    Ideally they would break up and she needs never know

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  • Don't tell her, she'll find it out herself eventually.

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  • Very tough position to be in!! Definitely do what you feels right

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  • If i were you i would talk to the cheater and tell his sin. If he won't then you will.

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  • Yes. Somebody’s got to tell the truth!

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  • Don't get involved. She will find out soon enough.

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  • Yes tell her

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  • Don't get involved. It would only create conflict.

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  • Hell yea

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  • Definitely tell her.

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  • Tell her.

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  • YES. ADULTERY IS FUCKED UP. DO IT.

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  • Don't poke your nose, it's not your business.

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  • Yes u should immediately

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  • Yes!

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  • Do what you'd what someone to o for you

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  • Snitches get stitches 🤐

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  • Yes tell her

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  • Yes.

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  • You must to do like you feel

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  • Yes she needs to know beside hiding it

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  • Yeah

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  • Yes she should know

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  • Stay out of it , your not god.

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    • God stays out of earthly affairs quite often actually.

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    • So get back lorretta!

    • With that reasoning, god is as imperfect as we are. Unable to defy the laws of physics and basically not as powerful or capable as people make him out to be.

  • Fuck yeah! If you don't tell her you will regret it later...
    That boyfriend is a dickhead

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  • Don't get involved

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