How do I redeem myself after acting thirst?

I’m a virgin and really new at flirting.

There’s this guy that comes by my work and orders food. We flirted a lot and sometimes if he were to order food from another restaurant in the food court, he would still come and say hi to me.

One day he finally said that we should chill, but he asked me in front of his friend and I got super nervous and said no. He didn’t come back for days. Then one day his friend came to order food and I gave him a note with my information on it to give to the guy. The texted me the same day.

I was worried that he thought that I wasn’t interested in him that I intentionally became thirsty. Two days after we started texting, I sent some dirty texts to him while I was tipsy. I know it was wrong but I can’t take it back. So after that I was really embarrassed and thought I completely turned him off. I asked him out for a date and he said he was busy but it he wasn’t he would go.

It usually took him a while to text me back, so out of no where I asked if he was blowing me off. He said no, that he’s not attached to his phone 24/7. Then I apologized and said that I didn’t mean to make it seem that I was obsessed with him, and he agreed that I did sound obsessed. I apologized once again and told him I was nervous about talking with a guy and he told me that I’ve proven my point and not to overreacting to stuff.

I’m always the first one to text him, and lately he seems like he’s not interested. But! he still comes by everyday to my work and we flirt and stuff, but via text he doesn’t seem to like me.

I feel like an idiot and a slut but I don’t know how to redeem myself after this. I really like the guy. How can I fix this?


Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Girls & Guys Said

  • Fix it by RELAXING with overthinking everything. He already told you that you sounded obsessed. Then you turn around and worry about who is texting who first... you are worrying about inconsequential things.

    • I told him yesterday that I’ll be busy these next few days and to text me if he wants to hang out. He said he would with a winky face and I left it at that. Should I text him back when I’m not busy or just wait for him to?

    • I would say the ball is in his court on this one. You let him know you were interested in hanging out (even though you are busy?) see if texts you

  • First, you are giving him mixed messages. You turned him down for a date then late gave him your contact info? That's a mixed message. Guys don't want a girl who does the opposite of what they want.

    But when you gave him your contact info you didn't even say you were sorry for being confused and turning him down. That's poor communication. Communication is essential in a relationship, it is not optional.

    What I think happened is your confused communication was a huge turn off and he's just looking elsewhere. You really need to work on your communication. And if you make a mistake, it is essential that you explain yourself somehow, in a note or email or text, tell him what happened. apologize, and then tell him what you want. When you sent him your contact info it could have gone like this:

    "I'm sorry I turned you down for a date the other day, I was really nervous. Here's my contact info, I'd like to talk to you and get to know you."

    See? Very easy. A+ communication is not being needy, it's the minimum you have to do if you want to be taken seriously.

    • When I gave him my phone number I did apologize for saying no to him. He knows that I’m new to dating and flirting.

      I already apologize for sending both the dirty texts and the obsessive ones.

      I want to know what I can do to fix this, if I can. I told him I was busy this weekend, and that I won’t be able to text. I then told him to message me if he wants to meet up sometime. What should I do? Please help me :(

    • He said “ya i’ll let you know ;)” when i told him to message me if he wants to hang out.

    • You did good. You sent him a message to show you are still interested. Now the ball is in his court. If you want to follow up with one more message a few days after the first one, that's fine. If he is still non-committal, then he probably isn't interested. People who reply with brief messages like "Ya I'll let you know" send a message they probably aren't interested. If a girl sends me a message on a dating site and she only says "Hey" i totally ignore her. It's clear she doesn't want to make any effort at all the get to know me.

Recommended myTakes