Bruises after sex, is that normal?

Me and my friends with benefits had sex lastnight and he was extremely rough, and he choked me really hard and I had bruises all over my butt, we were in a argument for like a week but got over it. I'm not sure what got into him but he wasn't drunk or on any drugs so I'm a little concerned. He also acts like he's controlling and aggressive at me sometimes. Is he abusive and should I not pursue talking to him anymore. I am so sore and barely could walk.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Unless you are into extremely rough sex, you need to get out of this relationship now. He doesn't have the decency to let you know how rough the sex will be, so in reality, it was more like abuse, possibly even rape, than sex. I don't see him being satisfied with any other kind of sex. Everything points to him getting even more abusive, and more controlling. Get out of this relationship now. But do it when someone is around, someone who can help you if he gets physically abusive. Also, get very good locks on your door, and if he starts harassing or following you, call the police, and get a restraining order. It things look like he could explode, you might want to live with a friend for a while.

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    • Thanks, I was drunk so I think he took advantage of me.

    • This guys sounds like a class one jerk, who uses women, and takes advantage of them, and abuses them. Be careful around him, and get out of there.

    • I will.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Talk to him first and see what he thinks of it.

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    • He gets mad when I talk about stuff and shuts down. I was drunk too so I feel like he took advantage of me.

    • Then he shouldn't have and is in the wrong, definitely would stop contact.

    • Yeah I am.

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What Girls & Guys Said

113
  • Let me tell u something
    If you put ur hand in fire, what will happen?

    Sex outside marriage is under the wing of Devil and it will one day or other hurt you and you will regret it one day.

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  • If you don't like it that rough say something and let the chips fall where they may but I'm preaty sure he only said he was over it and desided to hate fuck you

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  • Yes he is only taking pleasure and abusing u and think like u will not leave him.. might be thinking total dominance and possession of you because u came back to him forgetting everything... also u two not bound in any relationship so he is just using u and not care about u...

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  • Tell him not to be so rough, you should've told him as it happened. If he does it again after you warn him then end it bc he's not respecting your boundaries

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    • Your right but I was drunk and saying it's too rough, I think he probably thought I liked it and was just drunk. I don't know

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    • I agree.

    • However just to answer the question itself, yes bruises can normal even if the sex isn't that rough. Some people bruise easier than others, I've had exes get bruised from average spanking and some not even have red marks

  • You gotta tell him you don't like it rough. Most women do. Controlling behavior is a sign of abusive behavior but verbally aggressive behavior is a sign of depression or still angry about the fight.

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  • Just tell him that u don't like it that rough. If still he continues, u know what to do

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  • Unless the rough stuff was discussed beforehand it's a definite NO GO in my book..

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    • It was but it was talked about lightly and not severe like what he did plus I was drunk and he wasn't.

  • He's a savage! Good sex comes with war damage, just feel lucky. Orrrrr... Just ask talk to him about it if your really that concerned

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  • If you don't like it speak up and leave if he doesn't compromise

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  • dump him to the nearest trash can

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  • No it's not normal

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  • If he didn't talk to you about the rough stuff before he did it, he's a jerk and is doing BDSM all wrong. This is a BIG red flag. Not having a detailed talk before doing BDSM is a huge no on in the BDSM community. Respecting each others limits is a very big deal since it can be a bit dangerous.

    He sounds like he's trying to be edgy but really has no idea how BDSM works. Or he could really be a clueless dom.

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  • hey, you have an friends with benefits, right? So, would you ever wind up sexting, another man? Do you have any sort of morals.. im just curious. A girl I know, has an friends with benefits, but, wound up trying to sext me. I felt bad for him because I felt like she was "cheating" on him

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  • normal stuff

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