Why do people feel entitled to have other people open up to them?

A few people have told me this. The last guy I ended things with told me that he hated that I didn't feel comfortable opening up to him even though I hardly knew him. My parents do the same thing to me also. Luckily my current boyfriend is understanding and said he will be patient because he has seen equal or more traumatic things so he understands.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • To be honest no you don't owe anyone anything and if you knew a guy for only a month you don't have to tell him anything about you. Though wanted to know more about you and feel trusted by you is a good thing and a sense of entitlement. Eventually though when you're ready you'll have to open up a bit and tell people about stuff. If they feel like they don't know you after a long while they'll leave. I've had the same happen for me in the past too. To be honest it's their right to leave in that situation.

    Relationships are built off of trust, communication, and knowing your partner really well. If you can't open up after a certain length of time (not necessarily a month because you just met though over time), then people will leave for someone who is more open. It's not a sense of entitlement it's just that they know what they want and feel like they can't get it from you.

    As for parents and friends, sometimes they're worried and want to know about you and your life. That doesn't mean you have to tell them anything but if I had friends and family who weren't interested in my life at all then it shows that they really don't care. I wouldn't feel upset or offended by people asking thing. I'd get annoyed at people for pushing things that I want left alone.

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    • Is a good thing and not a sense of entitlement*

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    • No thats okay and I get that. If you don't open up to a person, they will start to distance themselves. I believe that we didn't have a connection and that's okay. I realize that I am not everyones cup of tea. It is what it is. For weeks he led me on about being busy and he will always be an asshole for that. But being with my current boyfriend, and seeing the contrast between being with him and having to beg the first guy for attention, taught me a valuable lesson.

    • I agree. I believe that people should be honest about not being interested. Though I do think it's a good lesson that you've learned. A lesson could be learned from all relationships good or bad if we let them. Chances are you'll learn. More with your current boyfriend.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I was in a similar situation on a first date with a guy, I wasn’t sure if he was interested in me as a person or just sex, so that naturally made me more reserved around him until I felt I could trust him more. He asked me if I was shy, I just let him think that (I’m not normally) and I tried to explain that I have to trust someone first beofre I can fully open up, he just looked disappointed/annoyed so I figured it wasn’t going to go anywhere from that point in either since in my past two relationships the guys were understanding.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • it sounds like ur leaving a lot out but its a trust thing u gotta be able to tell ur partner everything as there shouldn't be anything u want to hide from them wether its the past or future

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    • It's not that I don't trust them or I'm hiding something. I just don't feel comfortable talking about some things. What am I going to open to him about? You want me to start with my cousins murder? Because I can hardly talk about that. Or how about the shitty relationship I have with my parents? Why is that so hard for people to understand? Forcing me to talk about something I don't feel comfortable talking about when I have only known someone for a short time will create resentment.

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    • @LondonTheKid I only knew this guy for a month. I promised to open up to him when I felt comfortable but he wanted me to be faster. All my life, my parents taught me that if I tell people grisly details about my life, that I'm fishing for attention. With my current boyfriend things have been much better. We had an instant connection on the first date and recsntly I vented to him.

    • Also I was hesitant to fully give into him because I didn't think he liked me. He always said he was too busy to see me and all my friends kept telling me to ditch him. I see a huge difference now because my current boyfriend has worked 14 or 16 hour shifts and he still insisted on having date night. As a result, I have opened up to him

  • I'm patient. It took me and my best friends a long time to open up to each other, now we tell each other everything. My best friend hit a car today, backed into it.

    from being raped or molested, to being abused, it takes time to talk about these things. It really does. Some people are more open than others, like I try to be open about my past.

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  • Some people open up slower then others which there is nothing wrong with that. Just tell him thats how u are tho. Say that u wanna take ur time bc u don't open up to people that quick. Thats a good thing tbh. Just be brave tho and try new things. Have some conversations with him and hang out with him ans start by telling him what u love to do, like ur hobbies. The more u guys know about eachother, the less scared you'll be to open up (not saying tht ur scared but u know what i mean right? Lol)

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  • The level of your connection to them. You seemed to tell this one a little so that's a good step forward.

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  • I get why they want you to open up -- they want to know you better and to feel trusted. But you don't owe your story to anyone. Especially some guy you had only known for a month.

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  • I'm really hard to know as well. I think they're frustrated that they talk about their feelings and we take longer to. Sometimes it's a personality thing too. I'm very private.

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  • How can you expect someone to stay with you if you won't allow them to get to know the real you?

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    • I knew this guy for a month. What am I going to open to him about? How my cousin was viciously murdered or how a confused patient of mine assaulted me?

    • First of all i'm terrible sorry to hear that but Maybe start small and make an effort for the person you care about, he wasn't responsible for these tragedies and at the end of the day he only wants to know because he cares

    • I know but I don't feel comfortable talking about it. And he got mad at for that.

  • You obviously have trust issues, don’t worry, I do too. And there’s not really much you can do except be patient with them and them be patient with you.

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  • People don't feel "entitled," people just like the people close to them to be honest with them. I would want my girlfriend to feel comfortable talking to me about things.

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  • Cause they don't want to invest more time to make sure you are comfortable around them

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  • Some people can share stuff easier some can't. Its ok of you can't and its good if people are understanding and patient about it.

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  • really don't know

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