Why am I single?

Please answer this. I mean, I've been called beautiful by strangers, I have a 4.0 GPA at a top university, I am humble (I don't tell people my GPA in real life, unless they ask for it), I talk to squirrels/raccoons/dogs (may be a part of my issue), I love helping people who are kind and who need it most (homeless people/vulnerable youth/children, etc.), I am an introvert/extrovert, meaning that I am quite shy and reserved in social settings at first. However, once I get into the mood, I will be laughing my ass off and cracking jokes with complete strangers. I care only for a person's personality, and although I value appearance and do get attracted to hot men, I would not mind if he was average looking as long as he was kind, loyal, funny, smart, and loving, and of course, we would have to have some interests in common.

It seems as if the men I am interested in (the decent ones) never make a move. I see them glance at me often, but then again, they glance at most women often. SO how the hell should I know when to make a move? I mean, I've been rejected 3 times already and I do not want there to be a fourth. Why do men do this? It drives me insane. Why do you stare at us, smile, be super kind, make us laugh, compliment our hair/smile/accomplishments/clothes, make us think you got the hots for us, but then NEVER say anything? And on the off chance that I do approach a guy, he'll deny it, and say that he has absolutely 0 interest. I mean, that is soul crushing. So I would like to know, will I die alone, or is there still hope? I recently turned 19, by the way. I wonder how many sad, lonely single years I have yet to live?

OOh: I am also chubby (could lose 15 or so pounds). But I don't look terrible, depending on how I dress, sometimes I look quite good. I am working on the weight, got a rowing machine and will use it at least 4 times a week. Do you think my weight is what is repelling men? I mean, I've seen chicks bigger than me dating gorgeous men, so I dunno.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • You'll be rejected a bit. Some guys are just nice and compliment things. Talking to animals isn't that crazy... Well maybe raccoons. Guys have to get approached and are rejected a lot before finding a relationship but all you need is one. Out of 3.5 billion men on the planet a lot won't be into you but luckily all you need is one. Keep going and know that it's okay to be rejected. Rejection says more about the person rejecting you and nothing about you.

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    • Thank you for the MHO

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    • Thank you.

    • No problem

  • Because you are probably intimidating. Being smart and beautiful means you see through guys games and can't easily he coaxed into bed. I feel our society is leaning more towards sexual encounters than relationships. But continue to be yourself the right man will come along that won't pressure you into sex but live you for your mind and personality

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    • Thanks for the mho. Even though I butchered he and love but still least you understood lol

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    • oh, sorry. I usually know how to spell. sometimes I forget about You're and your when I am typing too quickly.

    • Haha I do same no worries I'm just being funny

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What Girls & Guys Said

113
  • Hahaha... It's not your weight... It's your mindset...

    Be realistic... Been shot down 3 times? That's the game... I've been shot down 3 times before breakfast once...

    You've got 4.0 GPA... So work this work yourself... Have you ever heard the phrase... So many women, so little time?

    That's why we stare and look... Constantly processing which is worth the effort, which is most likely to say yes, which will not cause a scene... etc...
    Then we list secondary and tertiary targets...

    Then... We pluck to the courage and go for it... Shot down number one? No problem... Shot down number two? Still have one chance...

    That's life...

    Very often, I ask girls out who are totally not interested in me... But all I need is a date and that's my chance to intrigue her and make her like me...

    You want to play the game but just hope to sit in the sidelines waiting to be approached? Fine... But don't hold your breath...

    You choose if you want to be passive or active in the scene... But either ways... You can't complain if nothing happens by just waiting and hoping... Or that nobody response positively in a way you like by being active...

    But...

    If you give it a go and succeed... It'll feel like being on the top of the world... Because you made it happen...

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  • I've been rejected over 1000 times. Who cares keep trying. You might be scaring them by asking if they are looking at you. Just smile a lot at them and play with your hair tell they approach you.

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    • woah, man, 1000 times? Seriously? That has got to be an exaggeration. Or were you keeping score? :) Anyways, you seem like a nice dude, decent and respectful. I wonder why 1000? I guess a lot of women do like the "bad guys." lol. Is that stereotype bull or is it real, i am personally inclined to say bull.

    • As a man it is my responsibility to approach. Only 1 out of 20 will even talk to me. To say that I get rejected over 100 times before getting into a relationship is an understatement. Don't really know. I'm 6'4" 275lbs and look like a biker and it works for me.

  • You are too intelligent - thats ur answear
    And u got too high demands in terms of ur dream boyfriend
    here is not much dudes that can checkmark those things in 1 person
    also guys dont like too intelligent girls , or bookworms
    im honest with that
    there are exceptions bcs my girlfriend is a bookworm , but i dont mind that
    i love the way she is

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  • The second you get comfortable being single, someone usually comes into your life. It’s almost like clockwork, in my experience.

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  • In my experience as a male, being the one to ask the girl out is quite nerve recking. It takes a lot of courage, and guys usually say that they don't like you because they need to act cool. They probably figure that you don't like them so they don't want to risk the heart break if that's true. I say make the first move if you're sure the guy likes you. If he doesn't, find someone who will!

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  • Your still young, plenty of time for love to find you. And for the record chubby girls are my type, so I wouldn't worry too much on your looks.

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  • If you see them glancing at your, they are probably interested. Many times, guys are intimidated with approaching smart women and I bet they know your intelligent and think your not interested in them. Those are words from my psychology class, human sexuality. So, do something to let them know you’re interested or just simply ask them out. We don’t live in the 1950’s anymore. Another fun fact from a psychology class, women in the late 80’s through the turn of the century were less into gender roles when it came to dating and relationships. In that era women got offended if a man held the door for them and would say things like, ‘I don’t need no man to hold the door open for me, I’m not helpless’ then some time after the turn of the century gender roles started coming back.

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    • thanks, i'll start asking men out as soon as I lose 20 pounds. Otherwise, nah. Who wants my flab?

  • Dear first of all don't be sad being single and don't make your self negative about the things, may be you met 3 guys was not having good intentions about you so they rejected you as they didn't saw that they will get what they want, love is flow where you don't need to think it's took u automatically in flow of romantic world so be honest with your feelings and soon your love will knock you, I am traveler so reading minds is my best hobby, I like to get connected with new Pepole, I like your thoughts, if you really need assistance connect me on what's app +919421964773 , I will be your friend and will guide where ever u need

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  • It's maybe cause you talk to animals 😂JKJK. I've rejected more than 3 times in my life. It's part of life. Maybe guys are afraid to approach you cause they think you're out their league

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  • maybe its cuz your smart why your not aproached by guys

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  • Because you didn’t talk to me before.

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    • Would you say I’m hot, average or ugly?

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    • Oh, don't worry, i have resting bitch face, and all my profs think i'm a bitch, yay. I'm sure you don't have "ugly eyes" though. You have a nice face shape, and usually that is accompanied by nice eyes.

    • They might think I m high because most of my friends smoke and sell weed at break time to the rest if the students m. They probably think I’m part of that sh*t

  • It’s ok to be single

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    • Thanks, but guys aren't in a rush because they can still impregnate women well after their "prime" years. Women only have about 40 or so years after they're born to pop out a few kids before they reach menopause. And in all seriousness, I know I am young, but I hope i'll be settled with someone by the time i'm 30.

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    • Lmao no it’s a meme

    • Feel free to be 329th lol

  • I thought you said you have a fiance before

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  • The extra 15 lbs would put you in the friend zone

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    • Hmm, is that why I see women who are 60 pounds overweight with guys who look like they work out? I mean, I've been told I am quite beautiful by a lot of strangers (I know, a little weird), I don't think I am an insufferable bitch, and I am not an airhead considering I did pretty well in first year uni. But I think each guy is different when it comes to the weight thing, and like I said, I am working on it. Though I've had a lot of shady men approach me. One guy who looked well above 60 and another who kept leering at me. Looks like I attract only creeps. Sigh.

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    • I suppose you are referring to women then? Ha, looks like we are both unlucky.

    • Why? you can't tell 15 pounds on someone and who cares personality trumps weight anyway. Fifteen pounds isn't enough to be unhealthy either.

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