Was I to hard against her?

Long story short!

I was together with my ex-girlfriend for almost 2 years. We were doing great together and everything was going good. But everything changed.

She went to a party with her friends which I said that I can't come to so that I can surprise her there later. When I arrived to the party, I looked everywhere but I could not find her. Her friends tried to distract me a lot and then I knew something was wrong. I went to the only room which I hadn't checked becuase it was locked. I forced the door open and saw her on top of a guy. I was shocked, sad and disappointed, I don't know how to describe the horrible feeling.

Anyway, I just smiled at her because words didn't come out of my mouth no matter how hard I tried. She looked at me and started to cry and used excuse after excuse. One example is, I was too drunk, another was, he forced me. Anyway, I ignored her although she tried her hardest talking to me and only told her that I need a brake to forget this. She agreed after realising that talking to me at this point is to no use.

After 1 month, I actually forgave her. But the same thing repeated it self 2 month later!

In that party, I started drinking a bit to drown my sorrow but in the end, it did not help. My only thought was getting revenge. So I spent the rest of the party getting close to her best friend which I surprisingly clicked really well with. In the end, we went to my home, you can guess the rest.

I started meeting her best friend more often and in the end, I broke up with my ex and got together with her bestie. We've been together for 1 month now.

I haven't seen my ex since then, her other friends have tried to convince me to forgive her but i've disagreed everytime they asked and told them that she doesn't deserv a second chance. was I to hard against her?

(Sorry for the bad spelling here and there)

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It might have been one thing if she only did this once with good intentions of never doing it again because she didn't communicate with you about how she was feeling in the relationship but the fact she went around doing this twice, knowing full well of your disappointment is inexcusable. I do feel like your revenge method was not the best way to handle this since two wrongs don't make a right. You definitely deserved better but for her to get a taste of her own medicine will give her trust issues in the next relationship she'll be in. This could have been easily solved by a conversation with you two talking about who's needs are being ignored and what changes need to happen for the relationship to either continue thriving or to break off if it gets too toxic.

    A loyal and honest girlfriend would never have intentions of cheating on you and if she did, she would have came to you first thing about it so no conflicts would happen from it. You were depressed after the incident and her breaking your trust twice is a relationship killer. You were smart for investing your time in a new relationship but overall, it could have been handled better. Live life and learn as they say!

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    • Thank you so much! This is exactly what I was thinking. Yes, I agree that my "solution" wasn't the best method, but I was so angry and frustrated at that moment so I don't know what I was thinking.

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    • True that. The thing is, we had a good communication! I don't think a couple can last for 2 years without a good communication ^^

    • It's possible for a relationship to last 2 years without communication if one or both partners are stuck with each other for financial stability/parenthood reasons where neither of them are at an advantage upon breaking up. It's not to say they would be happy either but some circumstances will make people believe that staying together in a relationship for the sake of avoiding a problem that's worse is better.

      I can believe you two had great communication! Something must have gone wrong down the line though for her to hurt you like that. It's never a good thing to be in a relationship where most, if not all trust is gone :( Still though, I'm glad you're feeling a lot better now!

Most Helpful Girl

  • Not in any way were you hard on her. She's a sloot.
    I don't agree or appreciate anything you did to avenge her but it wasn't too harsh on her.

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    • I agree about what I did was wrong. It happened at the moments when I was angry and frustrated, the rest is history.

      I would be lying saying that I don't regret it a bit.

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What Girls & Guys Said

22
  • WTF? She cheated on you and then repeated it after you forgave her. Final words: you lost NOTHING. She lost both you AND her best friend.

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    • Well, that's what my other friends tell me. Still kinda sucks seeing the girl you were with for 2 years completely devastated..

  • you were not too hard on her, she's a thot

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    • Well, I can only agree tbh

  • Nah brah

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  • Two wrong things doesn't make it right.

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    • So what i did is wrong you think. Elaborate please, I feel a bit bad for her but I don't think I did anything wrong as I did brake up with her before doing anything with her best friend.

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    • Honestly, no. Jut move on. She was a bitch to you, just saying that it wasn't right to sleep with someone else for revenge while you were still dating. But seems like you found new love interest, so good luck with her.

    • Thanks for sharing. I will certainly do my best. Yes, I would be lying if I dont say that I regret it a bit. But I was so frustrated and angry at that time so idn what I was thinking.

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