I need advice on my situation?

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I need advice on my situation?

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It's a long story, message me for the details if you want to help me (would be good if you know French). But essentially... Is she politely blowing me off or making me chase?

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Anonymous · Answer 1 · 2018-05-15T09:49:16Z

Anonymous

I don't know French

anon360

In case you're wondering, here goes:
So I first met this girl back in January of 2017. That semester I barely talked to her, I really didn't care about her. The following semester we actually talked together a lot, every Monday morning we would sit together with coffee and talk for about an hour waiting for a class. Most wednesdays since we finished the day in a class we were together we'd also commute for about an hour together. In class we didn't sit together because she had her group of friends and I had mine. There's only one time we worked together, during a lab a lot of people didn't show up (including half her team) so the professor rearranged the teams for that lab to even out the numbers I ended up working with her. Obviously we again talked a lot during the lab. I learned during that lab that we actually went to the same high school (different years tho) and that she was in a special education program.

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anon360

So at one point during the lab I'm just waiting for some tests tubes to cool down and out of nowhere she comes up to me and asks if I'm ok, I'm like "yeah sure, just waiting on the tubes" maybe it's an insignificant detail but I felt it's rather unusual, I just quiet and concentrate for a few minutes, I'm usually talking to people and making jokes but me being quiet is that a reason to assume something's wrong? And she specifically referred to me, she wasn't asking if the experiment was fine or anything and she isn't the type of person that typically asks that to anyone, so what it means I don't know. There were many little details that lead me to believe that she maybe payed special attention to me

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anon360

Let's say the group is walking to somewhere she would actually be somewhere close to me at all times, if I didn't have anything to say she would actually try to start a conversation. I wouldn't say she's shy but definitely somewhat reserved, yet I believe I wouldn't be wrong to say that if I was around she would actually appear to be more outgoing. And maybe it's my imagination

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anon360

But she smiled a lot in my presence

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anon360

One thing pretty sure of (there's no way this is just me imagining things for this one) is that she would laugh at anything I would say. And not just a giggle but genuine laughter. I see my myself as somewhat of a funny guy but even if something so incredibly stupid even I was a little embarrassed to have said it, she would laugh anyway. Every little half ironic or sarcastic remark... She laughed. And she would also giggle and smile a lot to almost anything I said, for her to have a straight face when I talked to her it would a serious subject or something incredibly dull. And I'm not exaggerating I swear...

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anon360

And some point she told me personal stuff of her life, she lived through a pretty tragic story, such a joyful person one would have never expected

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anon360

So we were on good terms

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anon360

But we never saw each other outside of school

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anon360

Heck we weren't even friends on Facebook

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anon360

I didn't even have her number

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anon360

We technically weren't close together, in those conditions even calling us friends would be a stretch, maybe more like very good coworkers? (Costudents?)

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anon360

So just so you know African people have a culture where it's okay to touch people and general they're very touchy people

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anon360

So by the end of the semester, December 15 2017 to be exact

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anon360

We (me, her and other friends) were studying together in a room in the library

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anon360

One of my friends (he's African so when he touches someone no one makes a big deal about it, besides he's married and 45 and she's 25 so it was really meaningless) puts his arm around her

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anon360

And then another of my friends (a guy from Haiti) tells him to leave her alone because she's my girl

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anon360

And my friends start joking and teasing her and me

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anon360

Saying things like

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anon360

Don't forget to invite us to the wedding and when you two get a house invite us for a drink

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anon360

My reply was to say some dumb shit like

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anon360

"Stop, you're embarrassing her" or "stop you're scaring her" or like "hey I thought you said you'd match her up with your brother" (he did tell her that at some point a while ago)

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anon360

She just sat there saying nothing just smiling and little later when room got quiet she said that a friend of her texted her asking for help and then left

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anon360

I proceed to tell my friends "wtf are u guys doing? See now you scared her off" and they're like "nah, next semester in January you have to take her out for a drink not us"

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anon360

Except next semester never came

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anon360

Because...

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anon360

I GOT FUCKING KICKED OUT OF SCHOOL

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anon360

That very same day, 15 of December 2017, the day that changed my life, I had an important exam that if I failed it I knew I'd get expelled (I had failed a lot of classes previous semester)

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anon360

So I failed it

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anon360

And got expelled

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anon360

I learned I failed the exam a few days later and did the only thing I could do

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anon360

I went out drinking

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anon360

That night, going home I was pissed drunk and started to listen to love songs, thinking that maybe I'd never see her again... Yeah I cried all night

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anon360

I was thinking about joining another program for next year (I really suck at science) like political sciences or something (I'm good at the usually)

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anon360

But in January my friend had came back from Haiti (he was there during winter vacation and had brought me a bottle of rhum from there) and before the school semester started him, two other friends from school and I met up for drinks

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anon360

And he brings her up and told him nah man, I got kicked out probably not seeing her again besides she'll forget about me or think I'm a loser or something

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anon360

And he tells me I'm wrong, he like "didn't you notice she was red and had a big smile on her face, just come back next year and make things right

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anon360

Since last time I saw her, that 15 of December 2017, I couldn't stop thinking about her

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anon360

So in March when the inscriptions for the semester that starts in September begun, instead of choosing sociology I decided to go back to water treatment

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anon360

I was just obsessed with the idea of seeing her again but didn't have any illusion on my chances with her

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anon360

With all that free time this semester

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anon360

I decided to spend a week in Europe

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anon360

So before leaving I met with my Haitian friend for lunch since I had to show up to school anyways to reschedule a meeting with school personnel that was going to take place while I was away

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anon360

We chilled during lunch as usual and at the end I casually asked how she was doing

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anon360

And he tells me

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anon360

"She's waiting for you"

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anon360

And I'm like hein? How? What do you mean?

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anon360

He tells me that he has a class with her and in January when they came to school first thing she does is ask where I am what am I doing and why am I not there

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anon360

He says she's thinking about me and that she loves me

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anon360

So going to Europe on the 10 of April I come home on the 20 of April

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anon360

I bring back for her chocolate from Belgium, champagne from France and a little Harry Potter keychain I picked up in London at the train station they filmed the scene where the kids crash into a wall (she really likes Harry Potter)

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anon360

My friend told me the class they have together is they're last of the day so I rescheduled my appointment we the school staff to match the day they have a class

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anon360

I text my friend to tell her I'm there and want to say hi

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anon360

And he tells me she always leaves that class a little early so doesn't miss the last bus that brings her home, I know that if she misses it the only other bus that brings her the nearest to her home passes like half an hour later and then she would still have to walk 45 minutes

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anon360

Anyways so he texts me to hurry and meet her at the entrance not too miss her

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anon360

But...

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anon360

My phone service fucked up and I received that text 20 minutes too late

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anon360

So I missed her

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anon360

Going home I go through all the files and school work I have (trust me it wasn't easy) to find her full name so I could finally add her on fb

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anon360

We did do a lab together so I had her full name

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anon360

Then I tell her "hey, it's been while, how's it going? I was at school on Monday and wanted to say high but didn't see you anyways, I just wanted to know if you're free Friday night?"

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anon360

Her answer came as a cold shower

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anon360

She tells me she's busy with her studies and when I ask her if she wants to do something with me when she's free she told me that yes we could do something when she free

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anon360

So she technically didn't even try to reschedule she just left it at the good old "sorry I'm busy" and when I ask her if she would eventually want to see me she says yes but leaves it at all too vague "when I'll be free"

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anon360

It's been 3 weeks since then

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anon360

School probably ends in week

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anon360

I got a bad feeling about this

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anon360

I'm afraid that she'll never be "free" and message me back

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anon360

Maybe my friend told me bullshit or maybe she just lost interest

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anon360

I don't know

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anon360

I mean my friend would a real dick to do that and I guess we haven't seen each other in 6 months

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anon360

Maybe if she did like me, she doesn't anymore

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anon360

If she doesn't message me back I'll insist on seeing her at least once

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anon360

I need to make things clear at least

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anon360

If I could only get one date, just go out with her just once, I could either have a shot to impress her and show her a good time or at least make things clear

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anon360

I'm afraid if I ask her out again she'll just give me another excuse to avoid me

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anon360

Do I have a shot?

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anon360

Is it doomed?

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anon360

Did I ever have a chance?

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anon360

Is she going to message me back?

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anon360

Should I ask her out again

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anon360

by the way, I'm 20 and she's 25 but despite that she's only 1 year ahead in our study program, I believe she just got her driving license in February while I just got it in May but she still has to take the bus while I bought a car (a lease return Nissan micra, it's no Porsche but it was relatively cheap and is in a good shape), I've had a job since I was 17 and pay for most of my expenses while she hasn't had a job in her life yet, I still live with my parents but she does too plus I have a gold credit card with 11k dollars limit on it

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anon360

Yeah after a whole semester working less, having to entertain my self more, paying for thing the assurance usually pays for (but doesn't because I don't study full time this semester), no student discount, driving lesson and license, going to Europe a week, gifts, buying a car...

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anon360

I pretty much drained my savings

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anon360

But I still have 3000$ aside

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anon360

So yeah even if there's an age difference and she's now one year ahead in her studies, considering all what I have and she doesn't (she doesn't even have a credit card and she started the study program one year before I did)

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anon360

In general she's not too far ahead in life compared to me

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anon360

And 5 years difference isn't that much, or is it? I know people say that girl prefer older men but it's not an unbroken rule

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anon360

We live in near Montreal, Canada

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anon360

So that's why the French, the screenshots I have of our chat is in French

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anon360

If reading the whole thing, thank you for your patience

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anon360

So yeah, if there's any opinion or advice you'd like to share with me please do... This whole situation got me lost...

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I need advice on my situation?

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