How do I explain to my friend that she's in a bad relationship?

So, I've got a friend who's 17yrs old. Last year, she started dating this 25yr old guy she met online without her parents knowing. She would tell me everything about him, and he really seemed like he cared for her. They talked on the phone all the time. They were really close to each other and she was crazy in love with him. They even met once and apparently he gave her a gold ring and claims her as his "wife".
However, he does treat her right anymore. He ignores her texts, asks her to stop messaging her, and fights a lot. This makes her really sad.
I personally feel that he was faking all the time but my friend doesn't understand that. She keeps saying "I know he loves me, I love him, blah blah blah" but honestly I don't agree with her. I'm sure he was playing games. If he really cared, he wouldn't do this to her right? I tried explaining this to her so many times but she just wouldn't listen. She just doesn't want to break up with him.
Also side note, she is kind of clingy and overly sensitive.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • People who are blind in love will never listen. We also warned a friend about her toxic boyfriend but she didn't listen... and caught him using tinder on his phone. Sometimes these people need to be slapped in the face with reality. Explain logically how that f**ktard will screw her life up. Sometimes when a guy talks to her about it it makes more sense because guys know guys best. But you said she is clingy and oversensitive... In this kind of situation youd only be able to watch the relationship ruin itself and let her rebuild after that. Or you could slap her with reality but she may hate you forever.

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    • You're so right.
      She's lost in the dreamy fairytale romances like Twilight and Fifty Shades that she doesn't understand that these things don't happen in real life. Honestly if I was her boyfriend and she was clingy I would've broken up with her, but she doesn't get it.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Do her parents know now? You could explain the situation to them. Otherwise you have to let her make her own choices and mistakes, it's her life.

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    • They didn't before, but they caught her and she got scolded really badly. Despite that, she still talks to him secretly and he is mean to her.

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    • Why can't you tell her parents? Also, how could you be wrong? She's 17 dating a man who is 25, met him online and he called her his wife when they met. That's not normal, nothing good will come of that relationship.

    • I'm not really in contact with them, and they probably don't know me so I don't feel right.
      It's kind of heartless for me to say this but I guess it's better if she realizes this on her own because she obviously doesn't listen to me and lives in her fairytale romance world so a dose of reality will change her.

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What Girls & Guys Said

58
  • No one wants you to tell them that they are in a bad relationship. She will not listen to what you say and you risk alienating her. Just be supportive and realistic with her.

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    • I am supportive and realistic, just trying to tell her that those fairytale-like romantic things don't happen in real life.
      She herself tells me how he's been treating her, and of course she understands that he's not treating her right. She just doesn't want to do anything about it.

    • A partner is a relationship - even in a very sick relationship - does not want to hear anyone criticize the other partner because the other partner is the one they chose and is an extension of them. It is just like criticizing a mother's child; she may say things critical of the child but she will attack you if you say the same things about the child.

    • I see. I try not to say bad things about him, but I do warn her about him. Now I just stopped.

  • Sadly it's hard to convince people they're in a bad relationship because it's about how they feel, and sometimes feelings are irrational. Perhaps she doesn't want to break up because she doesn't want to be alone again

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    • You're right.. people do go crazy in love don't they?
      But she sees the signs too. In fact, she herself told me that he ignores her and it really bothers me because he might be playing with her feelings.

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    • That's true, also the age gap is also a big problem

    • Definitely :/

  • Clingy girl + insensitive guy = toxic relationship.
    For further information contact Warren Jeffs😊😊😊

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    • That's pretty accurate 👍

  • Tell her parents they should know. And if she's not willing to listen walk away, you can't save her. But save yourself the heartache of watching her do this to herself, stop being a co-dependant...

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  • You can always tell her she’s in a bad relationship but also let her know that you’ll always support them

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    • I did but she's so madly in love with him that she doesn't listen to me!

    • That’s all you can do

  • You can't. She won't listen. It's not your problem. You can't fix it.

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  • You’ve tried and she won’t listen sadly there’s nothing more you can do and I know it’s hard but unless you talk to her parents I’m not sure what else you could do

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  • You can't. She's a woman. Women do that stupid shit all the time.

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    • Yeah, I've stopped trying at this point.

    • It's like me trying to explain to a fellow man to not try to fuck some hot girl because she's batshit crazy. He will only take that as an incentive to try even harder to get into her pants.

    • You're right..

  • You already tried it, so don't stress about this anymore. She'll learn the hard way.

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  • Just confront her about the problem and see's where it goes.

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    • I told her so many times. She won't listen.

  • Well if she's really your friend just straight-up tell her to get out of the relationship

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    • Yeah but she doesn't listen

  • 25 year-old men are after indecency

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    • Yeah.. I just don't want anything bad to happen to her because of him.

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    • 100% but maybe if you get a scenario say degrassi depicting a bad relationship and she finds it magically and she fits it together before too late

    • Hmm.. let's see what happens next

  • It doesn't matter have nicely who say her she won't understand you

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