My boyfriend won't have sex with me. Why?

We make out a lot and sometimes it gets very hot and we dry hump but he won't go any further. I want it to go further. I don't really want to ask why he won't take it further. We haven't had sex yet at all and I assume he's not a virgin as he is over 30 and had past girlfriends..

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Ok... What gets me is you said "... and I assume he's not a virgin..." clearly y'all don't know each other well enough so the comfort level between you both is not there? Sex can be a taboo topic for some, but can also make a relationship so much more when you openly invite to discuss the topic at hand and can laugh about it, talk about it, be serious or joke about it... Experiment with each other openly. That's what your real issue is. And if you are unwilling to ask or open up about sex then maybe you should reassess if going that next step is really needed. I mean what about the real issues after sex, cause yunno that's gonna have to be discussed too!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Just tell him, he's probably worried he'll come off too strong if he asks.

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    • Could he really be worried he's coming off too strong if we are basically having sex with clothes on? How could he think going further would be too strong?

    • It's really awkward when someone says no. It's probably more awkward to confront him but, you'll always have that wanting feeling until you talk about it.

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What Girls & Guys Said

28
  • You should just ask him why. Or try and initiate it further. But if he seems weird about it, you gotta ask

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    • I've tried to initiate subtlely. He doesn't seem weird but he just won't take it further. It's hard to bring up because we haven't done it yet. I don't want to bring it up like it's a problem

    • How long have you been seeing each other? Maybe he just needs to wait a little while?

      I don't know, maybe make a bold initiation.

    • A few months..

  • Talk with him. Maybe he's concerned about how he'll appear

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    • How could he be worried about how he'll appare if we are basically having sex with clothes on?

    • Show All
    • Smell?

    • Yea an with this cat, if l had to hedge my bets it’s probably a size issue.

  • Just ask him, communicate with him? Don't people as old as you two know basic relationship tools?

    He's probably insecure about something - most likely size. How do you NOT know if he's had a sexual past or not?

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  • Maybe he is nervous himself, definitely talk with him about it and make sure he knows you will wait for when he is ready

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  • Okay. I am going to use my psychic powers to read his mind. Please post a picture of him along with his credit card numbers and mother's maiden name.

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  • Maybe he has an STD and doesn't want to pass it on to you.

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  • Probably waiting for the right time. Depending on how long you two were together for.

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  • Are you fat?

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  • Bope. Ask him lol

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  • Is he religious?

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    • No he's not

    • Then I'm not sure why... he might have something going on in his life... but that would affect performance more than desire, especially if he's already getting turned on with making out and dry humping

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