So I’ve been talking to this guy for the past month. We hang out every single day, spend the night at each other’s places sometimes, we’ve hooked up like 5 times.
Yesterday morning he called me and said he wanted to spend the day together, so we had a breakfast date, jammed in his car, went back to his place, and had some BOMB sex. I had to go to work at 2:30 but he reminded me that we were hanging out at 8 and kissed me goodbye.
Fast forward to 8. I get there, handle of Bacardi, ready to drink for the first time in ages. Long story short, got a little too drunk, to the point where he didn’t think I could drive— I honestly could’ve. I had to be home by 1 because curfew. He made his best friend drive my car and follow me and him in his car to my house.
I’m not sure how this conversation started but during the car ride he told me he didn’t care if I died, and just that he didn’t want me to get pulled over. First of all, what the fuck? I asked him if he meant that, and he said said it again. “I don’t care if you die, I don’t care if anyone dies.” Like who fucking says that? To be fair he did tell me he was feeling really depressed, I asked him what I could do to help him, he said to wait a day and he’ll be fine.
Anyways, after asking him again like what the fuck dude, he said “no, I’d care if you died.” He then proceeded to tell me he has “a lot of love for me.” I feel like he was just telling me things I wanted to hear.
One more thing. We were discussing tinder earlier in the day, and he said he wasn’t about that Tinder life, and I agreed, which is true for me, I don’t have the app. When he let me pick the song on the ride home, he handed me his phone, and Tinder was one of the recommended apps from the drop down list. Also he was talking to some girl named Natalie on there?
Am I overthinking this? Am I overreacting?
To be honest I’m still a little drunk and just overall confused. I’m sure we’ll hang out tonight, but I’m tired of these mixed signals.
- Yes, calm down, you’re being crazyVote A
- No, he’s being weird wtfVote B
- OtherVote C
Most Helpful Guy
haha wow, so you've seemed to have overlooked your own wreckless behaviour, you wanted to drink drive and gave him the idea that you couldve died if he hadn't been there. He prevented that but he also saw it as though you might actually think he's fond of you. Sot to counter (defense mechanism), almost like equalisation, he said what he said lol dont think anything of it, in future don't use car if you plan to get drunk or he'll feel like your just advantage of the fact he cares about you (which he doesn't want you to feel).1
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Most Helpful Girl
The "I don't care that you would die" thing is fucked up, but from what I'm reading it could just be nihilism because of his depression. The best way to deal with that would be just talking about his depression and making sure he has someone to vent to.
The Tinder thing could also be the same thing, because of his depression he kinda doesn't care how his attitude could hurt people. It's messed up, but a lot of people have this issue.
From what I've read he sounds like a guy with huge problems that he needs to figure out. If you care about him you should try help him through this, he's not in the right headspace for a girlfriend right now, but it sounds like he could desperately use a friend.2