Which is worse depression after losing the one who made you the happiest or being in the toxic relationship with the person who made you the happiest?

I don't know cuz curious bout it

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  • It's important to note, that as you grow and age you start to take responsibility for how you feel. Nobody "makes" us feel anything.

    People do and say stuff. Then we interpret what that means. Then we feel a certain way based on our beliefs about it.

    So don't spend any more of your youth pretending that someone "makes you happy" or "makes you miserable." That's like pretending others are responsible for your life. And that will leave you feeling insecure and weak and basically a victim.

    Here's an example.

    Let's say you're travelling in a car with your family. And you have to pull over, making you a little more late for your appointment, because an ambulance comes racing through.

    Because you had to pull over and wait, are you angry? Are you upset?

    It depends.

    Most people recognize that if an ambulance is in a hurry it's because someone's life is on the line, and therefore we choose to feel okay with pulling over and losing some of our time. We are caring for others, and we feel okay. And sometime we even feel a little compassion for the person in the ambulance.

    But what if someone is racing behind the ambulance and they skip past us too, racing behind the ambulance... how do you feel about them?

    It depends on our beliefs. If we assume that person is just using the ambulance wake to get ahead of everyone else, we sometimes get mad and upset.

    Or sometimes we don't make assumptions and we don't care. For example, maybe the car chasing the ambulance is the husband and his dying wife is in the ambulance. Would you still be upset knowing that?

    My point is this... we CHOOSE our beliefs.

    So if you're "happy" while with someone else, enjoy it. But realize this is about you and your beliefs, not about that person you're with.

    And when you're angry or unhappy with someone "toxic" that's still you choosing beliefs that make you unhappy.

    One last example... if I insult you do you feel happy or upset?

    It depends on your beliefs. If you accept my insult as true then you're accepting my poison and making yourself upset. Or you can ignore my insult and feel fine. Just like if I shit in a box and try to give you that box. You can accept, or reject it. That's YOUR choice.

    :D

    ~ Robby

    (My Blog: http://relaxyouredying.com )

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    • Hm all true and have accepted that but it feels weird guess its just my stupid past but yeah ignoring works short term but long term it doesn't maby im just mad at how i screwed up and was unable to fix the shit i caused because i didn't know how to I don't know

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    • Depression comes from thinking about the past and anxiety comes from thinking about the future. We are most at ease when we are present and not thinking, but instead experiencing the current moment. This is something relationships can help with because when we're most present with someone we like we are out of our heads into the moment.

      So to reinforce what I've said... the person from your past didn't "make" you happy. You just were happy when with them. Just as you could be "happy" (or present and out of your head) with the next person you're into.

      But you're never going to have a chance to experience those moments again if your'e in your head mentally masterbating about some ex.

      This is NOT about ignoring your past or ignoring your feelings. It's about FEELING your feelings and accepting them.

      If you feel poorly, accept that and feel it. You have every right to feel shitty when you break up, so feel shitty.

      But don't live there like some self pitying victim.

    • You can't control how you feel, nor should you. Just feel what ever you feel. The mistake most people make is avoiding negative feelings. Because it's this avoidance that creates the friction that harms us. Just feeling bad, in it's self, it's bad... it's actually good for the soul. It releases the tension of those feelings. Avoiding them or trying to change them is the mistake.

      But don't get in the habit of trying to feel WORSE by reinforcing the feelings through self pity. This is a sad destructive way of seeking attention. Feeling sorry for ourselves is not how to feel better, nor is it a way to seek significance.

      And we CAN choose what we THINK about, and if you know thinking about something that can't be changed, like some ex who has moved on, is both harmful to us, and self destructive.

      As you age you will learn the value of CHOOSING what you think about. And when you CHOOSE to look forward you will move forward.

  • In the long run being in a toxic relationship will be worse for you.

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  • Depression after losing the one who made you the happiest

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    • Why you choose that choice

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    • Yeah being introverted and slowly having less friends contact you to the point where you just get home and just watch youtube or sleep because no one msgs makes it the worst

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