Which is worse depression after losing the one who made you the happiest or being in the toxic relationship with the person who made you the happiest?
What Girls & Guys Said21
It's important to note, that as you grow and age you start to take responsibility for how you feel. Nobody "makes" us feel anything.
People do and say stuff. Then we interpret what that means. Then we feel a certain way based on our beliefs about it.
So don't spend any more of your youth pretending that someone "makes you happy" or "makes you miserable." That's like pretending others are responsible for your life. And that will leave you feeling insecure and weak and basically a victim.
Here's an example.
Let's say you're travelling in a car with your family. And you have to pull over, making you a little more late for your appointment, because an ambulance comes racing through.
Because you had to pull over and wait, are you angry? Are you upset?
Most people recognize that if an ambulance is in a hurry it's because someone's life is on the line, and therefore we choose to feel okay with pulling over and losing some of our time. We are caring for others, and we feel okay. And sometime we even feel a little compassion for the person in the ambulance.
But what if someone is racing behind the ambulance and they skip past us too, racing behind the ambulance... how do you feel about them?
It depends on our beliefs. If we assume that person is just using the ambulance wake to get ahead of everyone else, we sometimes get mad and upset.
Or sometimes we don't make assumptions and we don't care. For example, maybe the car chasing the ambulance is the husband and his dying wife is in the ambulance. Would you still be upset knowing that?
My point is this... we CHOOSE our beliefs.
So if you're "happy" while with someone else, enjoy it. But realize this is about you and your beliefs, not about that person you're with.
And when you're angry or unhappy with someone "toxic" that's still you choosing beliefs that make you unhappy.
One last example... if I insult you do you feel happy or upset?
It depends on your beliefs. If you accept my insult as true then you're accepting my poison and making yourself upset. Or you can ignore my insult and feel fine. Just like if I shit in a box and try to give you that box. You can accept, or reject it. That's YOUR choice.
(My Blog: http://relaxyouredying.com )
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In the long run being in a toxic relationship will be worse for you.
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