Is it normal for things to feel overwhelming when dating a guy with a young child initially?

Our first date and first time meeting really was last Tuesday. We’ve gone on 3 dates total since. And we do have a great connection and I really feel good about it all, but it has been definitely... different? since he has a 2 year old. Who he has 2 days each week.
I’m 23, and told my parents I may not have children or if I do I want to be much older. Then I met this guy and I really feel good about him and a connection more than other guys I’ve ever seen. This guy is Hispanic, and all his family and coworkers already know about me. And he talks like he wants me around for awhile (he’s also 33 years old). Yesterday I saw some of his coworkers who are Hispanic, and this was our 3rd date, and his coworker asked me if I was ready to be his new mommy (the 2year old’s). And that honestly kinda made me speechless, and take a step back. His son is a handful, and he’s so cute and I do have fun with both of them but it’s just... a lot.. to take in? Especially since I have been in a mindset of no kids for a long time. Is this just something I have to get used to and will come around to? It’ll become normal in time? Or?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • This sounds very familiar. My older sister is going out with an older Hispanic guy whose got a young son. She says it can be a lot in the context of him already experiencing being a dad and the thought of taking care of his son when he already has a mother. She says it'll be overwhelming because it is a new environment but if you open up to your guy about taking it slower with his son then he might help. She also said she's sure that by time, his son will help you feel more prepared for any chance of motherhood and a good relationship with his son is sure to help the relationship with your man grow stronger.

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    • Haha weird! But thank you for sharing! That made me feel a lot better actually.

Most Helpful Guy

  • As far as your story is concerned. I would say, if you didn't have to give birth to the child. You never have to held responsible for him. Beside his mum is alive. This bring you back to your main interest which is the guy. His son will always be a crucial part of his life, you're just gonna have to accept that. But your relationship with the guy had no downfalls cos 1 he's responsible, 2 he's a parent and men mature lot more than women when becoming parents. And 3 if a man introduced you to his child already. That mean he's not messing around... so you have nothing to worry about

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • For me, it's normal since as you said that you're not ready to have a children. Maybe in some other time in the future your mindset will change since you will sometimes or always spend your guy's son. I think you two must take it slow and just enjoy each other company first. Cherish the moment.

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  • Stick with him! Sounds like you guys make a great couple! Having mixed emotions about being the new mommy is normal. However, you will not actually be his mommy, you will be the cool step mommy who gets to have fun with him two days a week. The other five he is with his mommy and telling her how nice you are. DON’T SPOIL him too bad, you don’t want his mommy to despise you.

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  • Avoid the potential drama.

    You don't need the drama and baggage of his kid with another woman.

    Furthermore, if he was a real man, then he'd understand personal and family responsibility and be married to that baby mama, but he's not. If you stay with him, then you will become the next unmarried baby mama with a ruined life.

    Move on... and get smart about choosing men.

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  • How friends want to make sure you’re ready to be a step mum because if you are going to be with him and be with his child you will have to be a role model and probably help him with his child. Normal thing really. You don’t sound ready though so maybe take that step back and have a very hard think about it because once you’re there, it will be difficult to leave due to connecting with his child.

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  • It’s normal to feel like that. But it should be a conversation you have with the man in question. Maybe to take off some of the of the pressure you can get to know him without the child being involved at this stage. Really, after 3 dates it’s a bit early to introduce a child anyway...

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  • Sounds normal to be. He has a lot of baggage because he has a child. This is why a bunch of people won't date someone who has children.

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  • Totally normal. I'm reluctant to date anyone with kids.

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  • No it's normal to feel like that's quite a lot. I don't blame you.

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  • Parenthood is overwhelming period. But dating someone who already has a kid can be really tough because your jumping into parenthood he had time to prep and expect and all that you didn't

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  • Do u bro if u don't want to give that kid knowledge or teach him back away

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  • Easy way to fix/avoid that problem all together : DON'T have a fucking kid at such a young age...

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  • It is normal

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  • What a stupid thing for the coworker to say.. I'm surprised someone would even say that.. you will never be his new mommy because he already has one. I think seeing him care for his son might make you feel stronger for him as it shows a sweet and genuine side to him. Assuming he does take care of his kid when he has him and doesn't neglect him, don't worry about it. It's not your responsibility and you guys are so so new that it isn't even something to think about right now.

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  • why are u dating single father?

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    • What do you mean?

    • Show All
    • Why not

    • thats just weird!

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