Girl says she likes me, but is not looking to date right now. Very unique situation?

This is not a typical scene.
This girl and I connected extremely well last Fall. We'd talk all the time and she really liked me. We both described this feeling as "real", unlike anything else.
But she had a boyfriend, so we never did anything or really dated.
Eventually, I had to stop talking to her because she was in a long term relationship.
A few months pass and they broke up. I still did not speak to her, but a month after the break up I decided to tell her happy birthday on her birthday.
She started to talk to me again and we really connected again.
I asked her out, she said yes, but we were too busy with school to really go on a date.
As we waited for a good time to go, she decided that she needs to be single for a while to focus on school, her friends, and job.
I said this made sense, she was busy and just got done dating someone else for almost 2 years.
We still talk and if I ever bring this up she will say she still cares about me, but isn't ready to date and isn't going to expect me to wait.
If I ask to hang out, she prioritizes hanging out with friends first, so I rarely see her. But she insists hanging out with me when she can.

I don't want to cut contact with her, I've had feelings for her unlike anyone I've ever met and we have so much in common that we are very similar. She knows this too, but still says she needs time.

Does it seem like she lost all feelings? If I ask her she says she hasn't but her actions do not match with her words... She will display care now and then, but then she goes quiet. :/
What would you do? Odds are, I'm not meeting someone like her anytime soon.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Reading your description l think she probably doesn’t want to get with you. Actions speak louder than words she is trying to live her life l suggest you do the same. Just cut off the communication and focus on your goals man. Don’t waste time trying to chase women or wait for them. Emotions are emotions you may think that she’s perfect for you but this probably not the case. When you focus on living your life and yourself your real perfect match will come along and she won’t put barriers up.

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    • I've had this conversation with her. I said your actions speak louder than your words. I think it makes sense though, if you weren't ready to date... would you hang out with and talk to someone that you like and they like you? It's a tough call and we are on very similar life paths-both working on going to the same medical school. Same beliefs and values... I wish I could turn off my feelings and just be friends for now though. I seldom find any people like this.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Just focus on you for now and think about her later when she's ready.

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What Girls & Guys Said

31
  • She just got out of a relationship. Give her some time.

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  • Something sounds off

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  • Ask her on a date and just enjoy sometime together

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    • Did that. She said she wasn't ready to date. She will probably want to hang out eventually because she said we should, just not now. :/

  • Dude she is using you to get free attention. Girls always do that man. She only went out cause she wanted attention and to be liked. Your never getting that pussy man. Give up and move on.

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    • It's not about sex. It's about her. I feel like I'd rather stay in contact even if she is not ready to date. She has good reasons to not date, like right now she has summer school and a part time job. She didn't do so well last semester, so she is wanting to really focus now and she feels like dating is a distraction... So I plan to keep in touch, but I'm not going to turn down new opportunities that may come around...

    • She is not going to date you if she does. She will date someone else when she gets a crush and an interest women don't wait around and go for guys they already have.

    • I realize that that is possible. Perhaps it is best to move on and let her come to me if she becomes ready. If not, whatever. :P

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