Is a guy a jerk for walking away from the friendzone? (Page 2)
Click "Show More" for your mentions
Most Helpful Opinion(mho) Rate.
Learn more
Learn more
We're glad to see you liked this post.
You can also add your opinion below!
You can also add your opinion below!
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
48Opinion
I'm currently in this situation. Whilst I can't cut them off completely (I see them at my salsa classes) I won't be engaging with them any more then I have to. It's not being a jerk. They wasted your time and that's the most precious thing you have
Not at all. Y would the man invest time in a woman he's physically nd emotionally attracted to if the only reward for time invested is friendship? I'd b walking my happy ass right out the door just like him.
No, why would it? If 1 of the 2 does not get "satisfaction" from a relationship ( be it friends or romantic) why would you stay? Would you stay in a bad romantic relationship? Why would friendship be any different.
Hell no. Why would he stay in the friendship just to not be able to stop having feelings and getting hurt? Protect yourself man
Nope, similar thing happened to me, she got a boyfriend and I haven't talked to her in over a year. Not a jerk, just protecting your feelings
Ok that's fine. I still don't know what that has to do with me though.
Apologies, wrong section. Why does this place not allow you to delete posts?
Even if you are not like that there are plenty more out there who judge by looks. I don't blame them though, it's just human nature.
... I give up.
He ain't a jerk... he was honest about it and most women can't deal with honesty and rejection.
And by rejection i mean she got rejected as a friend.
Not really... But the girl saying she doesn't feel the same way doesn't mean she thinks he's ugly.
99% of the time when a single girl rejects a guy she's friends with its because she thinks he's ugly, not because she thinks he has a bad personality as otherwise she wouldn't be friends with him in the first place
Nah he isn't a jerk. If you two don't have a mutual agreement yhen it's completely normal for the guy to walk away. You don't always have to please others at your own cost.
No, you not obligated to default to friendship, if it's not what you want.
His statement is kind of jerkish, he could have just moved on without the comment, but the sentiment is fine. You don't have to be friends with everyone.
No absolutly not, the girl is the jerk. The guy did the right thing
Depends on how it happens, it could either be slow drift apart or he could be a jerk by making a huge scene out of it.
What? No. That says a lot about you if you think the guy is a jerk.
Girls aren't this shallow, go outside.
Really girls aren't shallow you say? Would you date a short, bald guy with an amazing personality?
Depends what you mean by "amazing" personality. I also have standards, though not that high.
I mean you really like his personality, you have a lot in common and he makes you laugh but he's short and he's bald, would you date him?
I would have to interact with him in person to know.
Lets say you have interacted with him, you have a lot in common with him, you enjoy spending time with him and he makes you laugh but he is short and he is bald, would you date him?
Or would you friendzone him?
What do you mean by friendzone? Being good friends? The guy I currently like isn't short or bald but I wouldn't make fun of the one you described just for not meeting my standards.
Would you reject a guy for being short and bald? Would you use those qualities, that he has zero control over, to rule him out as a boyfriend?
I think we all know what the answer to that is...
Unlike you, I become friends with someone before considering dating them.
Can you please just answer the question, would you ever reject a guy for no other reason other than the fact that he's short and bald?
Everything else is in place, you been friends for a while, you have lot in common, make each other laugh, but he's short and bald, will you date him yes or no?
Hmm unlike me? Quite the assumption there...
@Aki6000 Not you.
Anyway OP, I have standards and while I've never mrt
Can you please just answer the question, yes or no, please?
@Asker you’re literally putting her on the spot. We’d have to get to know him in order to know. I myself used to like a guy who was bald but he was super fucking handsome (he really did pull it off), was tall and had great skin, great abs etc.
Looks matter. And NO ONE can deny that. Physical appearance is the first thing we know about someone. But that doesn’t mean that the girl would reject him BECAUSE of his looks. He can be a model and get rejected because his muscles are too big or whatever. Everyone has their preference.
@Aki6000 I'm talking to OP. Anyway, that description doesn't really meet my standards and I like someone who looks very different, but someone else might be totally okay with a guy like this.
For example, me. I wouldn’t date a black guy (no, I’m nor racist because I don’t think black men deserve less or whatever). Even if he was a hot ass model. Lol
Wow wtf happened to my reply before 😂
@navyrobin Thank you!!! Spot on.
You rejecting a guy for being short and bald means you're shallow, so don't act like you're not.
What you're doing is no different than a guy rejecting a girl for being too old, having small boobs, wrinkles, stretch marks, etc
So stop covering up your shallowness and just admit that's what you are.
You have no idea what standards are then. And you have some too. Learn basic decency before making bold claims like that.
How is you rejecting a guy for being short and bald regardless of his personality any different than guy rejecting a girl for having small boobs, wrinkles stretch marks?
They're both equally shallow, and both involve having standards
It is unfortunate but all humans have an appearance whether good or bad and so it will always be a factor when it comes to choosing the right person. In the ideal world, yes anything you cannot control (like appearance) would not matter but it's a tough world and that guy is simply unfortunate. Although there may be someone who simply does not care about appearances and dates him, that person is not necessarily better than everyone else, she would simply be different.
@Aki6000 She's a f****** hypocrite and a liar. Look what she wrote "Girls aren't this shallow, go outside".
She claims girls aren't shallow and care about personality and yet she says she would never date a short, bald guy regardless of his personality, she's a f****** epitome of a shallow person and denies it
I suppose she could've worded it in a better and non-hypocritical way although this does not change much. No one is perfect and judging is simply human nature. Having a standard for looks is simply the instinct of looking for a suitable partner to pass your genes onto. This is love and relations stripped to it's bare minimum and yes it is unfair but there is nothing you can do. A lot of people glorify love and see it as superior but fail to recognise that it is simply the interaction of hormones in the brain; take that away and love would not exist.
Looks matter. I'm sorry, but they matter. I'm not gonna date someone I might find physically unattractive, that would be unfair for both parties. The opposite is true too; I would never date a guy who is physically attractive to me but has a shit personality. I'm more attracted to someone who has [insert trait here], for example, freckles, brown hair, etc.
Everyone has standards, even you. You don't wanna date a girl with small boobs? Fine, that's your life. But stop telling people to force themselves to date people they don't find attractive.
@Aki6000 You worded it better than I did, thank you.
Lol since when does having standards make you shallow
You're so off here. This conversation has nothing to do with people being forced to date someone they're not physically attracted to. I 100% agree that you should be allowed to have standards. My issue with you @sugarette is the following
1) You claim girls aren't so shallow and willing to overlook guys flaws such as being short and bald if they have become good friends with him, like his personality etc. This is bs, and you and other girls should admit it and stop blowing smoke up guys asses. Just admit you're shallow, thats it
2) What you're doing is no different than a guy rejecting a girl for being too old, having wrinkles, having children, having small boobs, having a small flatt butt, having stick figure with no curves, having stretch marks, wrinkles etc
I want girls to understand that if you can refrain from dating guys for flaws such as being short and bald guys should have a free pass to do the for all the above mentioned qualities.
It's no problem. Although I do like the idea of a world where looks don't matter, everyone would literally have to be faceless and featureless clones and the only thing to go by would be their personality for that to happen and that would definitely be scary 😅
No trust me I know where you’re coming from.
Here’s a fact; every human being is shallow to an extent. Of course these vary and some people are more superficial than others. But shallowness is there at some degree.
But where I get upset is when these “ugly bald short guys” want a cute girl to date. It’s like, dude, stick to your standards. You’re ugly, you may have an amazing mind and heart but you’re ugly. Why can’t you settle for your league?
@navyrobin Are you saying short, bald guys are ugly?
Anyways I am, I go for girls that have small boobs and small butts. My standards are quite low
I ideally I would like a girl with a real woman body, but that is hard to get
You made a generalization that all girls are shallow. You know what would be shallow? A girl who determines whether a guy is dateable solely based on looks. A girl who's attracted to a guy just because he's conventionally attractive and doesn't care if he's an asshole/dumn because "well at least he's attractive." These girls exist, but not all of them are like that.
By that logic, I could call y'all shallow by saying "guys only want girls with big boobs and blonde hair!!!" yet I'm not because I know this is a minority.
I'm not gonna date someone who fits that description (even though I've literally never met someone like this), point blank. But we could be friends. This is not being shallow, this is having standards.
- No I’m not saying that. Omfg.
- okay. But I hate it when men like trump look for women like Melania. Not even close to his league. She’s clearly just using him for his cash and power. And then men claim women are gold diggers. LOL
@Aki6000 Me as well. It's sad that looks are more important than personality nowadays but they've always been more or less important. It depends on each person though.
@navyrobin Honestly, I would rather a girl date me for my money than my looks. Looks are not my strong suit. But I have an engineering degree and make a lot of money.
And in my opinion a golddigger that just wants to date an ugly rich guy for his money is no less shallow than a girl who just wants to date a guy because he looks good.
I think friendships and relationships cannot be compared with each other and neither is better than the other. It's simply a different form of relationship. The only reason why people think romantic relationships are everything is because of instincts. Sexual relationships usually require a physical component.
@Asker Would you ever date a bald girl?
I saw a poll recently where 80% of men wouldn’t date a bald girl. does that make guys shallow?
@sugarette exactly, looks are not everything but it still plays an important role in attraction. I'd say it is 45% looks and 55% personality.
I mean by your logic, that would be the case right
@Aki6000 I completely agree. A mix of looks and personality is what a person goes for. Jus because you happen to be hot doesn’t mean she’s only dating you for that. She appreciates your looks but also likes who you are
@sugarette All I ask from you is the following
1) Don't deny you're shallow
2) Don't you ever talk sh** about a guy who rejects a girl for being
- his age or too old in general
- having wrinkles and stretchmarks
- having a small butt and small boobs
And any other shallow reason you can think of
Then the game is fair
All I’m saying is that people should settle for people who are in their level of attractiveness. It’s not fair if a super hot girl makes all the effort in the world to please her man, but the man looks like an old dirty sack of potatoes.
@navyrobin Being bald is a masculine feature. 80% of men go bald at some point. I wouldn't date a girl with masculine features such as having broad shoulders, excessive body hair etc.
A girl being bald is like a guy having boobs, how many girls would date a guy with boobs?
And to your other point I would rather a girls affection towards me be predicated on my personality + money, not my personality+looks.
Looks are not my strong suit
@Asker How is it a masculine trait? How does baldness make you manlier? You weren’t born with it, and testosterone (and androgens among other male hormones) didn’t make you bald.
Boobs are part of a woman’s life cycle. That’s different. Baldness isn’t part of a man’s cycle.
I assume you wouldn’t date a bald girl. So that, by YOUR logic, makes you shallow. As much as everyone else. :)
Being bald can't be helped but calling me a bitch/shallow and insulting me for having preferences sure can be changed. Yikes. Maybe girls dislike you because you feel entitled to a relationship.
@navyrobin Why are you comparing me to a fat, sweaty woman and a sack of potatoes?
I graduated the top technical university at my country (yes, a first world country), I work as an engineer, I take care of myself, workout 6 times a week
And I don't have crazy standards. In an ideal world I would be dating a girl that's thick, curvy, has a big butt and big boobs. But I would take no issue in dating a stick figured girl with no assets if she had a great personality.
That just means your preference is towards skinnier women as well. I hardly believe that you'll date a woman you consider ugly even if she has a great personality.
@Aki6000 You're wrong, I'm not into skinny women
@navyrobin Please tell me, if balding is not something you're genetically predisposed to and not caused by hormones, how can a man stop it? Why do mostly men go bald?
Why is it literally called male pattern baldness?
@Asker I told you I’ve liked bald guys. So you don’t have a disadvantage there. Guys can get creative and manage to pull it off. If you got a healthy body and great looks, baldness isn’t a problem.
Now as for height, there are girls who can be shorter or even your same height. It also depends what you’re into.
Would you date a girl who’s 2 feet taller than you? No? Oooh. You are SO shallow (I’m only applying your logic here).
I've lost roughly 25-30% of my hair, mostly in the hairline. If you no of anything I can use, expect for the poison that is propecia, to stop it and regrow my hair, then please let me know
@Asker Shave it off. That’s how you get creative. It’s better to be completely bald than to look like a maniac (don’t take offense). Plus bald guys can be hot
This is a mess.
I do shave it all off, I hate the look of a receding hairline.
And no I wouldn't date a girl that's 2 feet taller than me.
But I don't have crazy requirements when it comes to height. I'm 175cm (5'9) (without shoes, just like to point that out) so I would probably put my limit at 180cm (5'11) or so
I think not really because in long-term it really hurt to stay in friendship with somebody you love
When can you have too much friends? Yeah the guy seems like a jerk
Been there, done that, hurt her feelings. (Which is bad)
The guy isn't a jerk instead he realizes that he doesn't want to get played.
Nope, his interests in the beginning were simple, get laid. Not make new friends.